The facts were these (brownie points to anyone who knows that phrase reference!):  I enjoy being around people and interacting with them.  That's probably part of the reason why I chose psychology as my major and why I got so involved with school organizations.  Just meeting new people to laugh, listen and talk with in social settings is a very pleasant and rewarding thing for me to do.  Perhaps these traits of mine are reasons why people have described me as a very friendly, outgoing, and sociable guy.

However, there are times when I feel very conflicted about this and wonder what's wrong with me.  You would think that with this type of personality I would be more into overtly extroverted activities like:


Yet time and time again I find I rather do more low-key activities with people, such as:


There's probably a lot of factors for why this is the case (I'm sure being allergic to alcohol doesn't help), but I often feel baffled about why I am this way.  I've gone to parties and clubs before, but I just never digged them as much as I felt I should be.  Trust me, I wish I could be like some of my peers who love going out all the time, but try as I may I just can't make that stuff my scene.  Every once in a while it's okay, but in general I much rather just do some chillaxing activities.

So yeah, now you have an idea of the types of activities I prefer to do if we ever hung out.  I've pretty much accepted this is just how I am, but I would be lying if I told you I don't ever feel self-conscious about it.

iso_whiteSnow asked me to write about this a little while ago when I mentioned in a pulse that I would be interviewing people for positions at the tennis club I help manage.  I have to say that an interview is a whole lot more fun when you're the one asking the questions!  What a different dynamic.  I'll try my best to write down how I felt being on the opposite side of the table for once.

The Importance of the Interview
Haven't gone to numerous interviews in the past year, I know how important that date felt to me.  I was always thinking that this one meeting could potentially have a big impact on how I live my life over the course of the next few months, or even years if it was a big position.

On the day I did interviews, I did not get the same feelings of importance for that day.  To me, it was just another task on my agenda to complete.  Sure, I was excited to do it being my first time and all, but in the end I treated it like any other business task.  Now I can understand how past interviewers must of have felt when they interview me.  For me, this was a big event which I was extremely nervous and hopeful about.  To them, I was just a 2pm appointment.  

First Impressions
People weren't kidding when they say how much of an impact your initial thoughts are of a person.  I unconsciously judged each of the three people I interviewed that day right off the bat.  What was interesting was that my initial impression didn't change much (if at all) after the interview was over.  I'm not sure if that's because the initial impressions were a very good summary of that person or perhaps those initial impressions influenced the way I viewed that person there after.  Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that the first impression is muy importante.

For example, Person #1 came in very laxadacical, which made me wonder how much he really cared about working here.  Person #3, however, came in with a genuine smile and looked ready to go.  Points go to Person #3!

Details Really Matters
During the interview, I took notes so I could later compare with the others.  The more the person said the more I was able to write down and remember.  Person #1 gave very brief answers to a lot of my open-ended questions, so I wrote very little for him.  On the other hand, Person #2 gave pretty thorough answers to most of my questions and thus I had plenty of stuff for me to take down.  Comparing the two, Person #2 seemed like a safer bet base on the fact I just knew more about him.  I still didn't have a good idea of Person #1 even after the 30 minute interview.  So yes, if asked a question try your best to answer that question as fully as possible! 

The Experience Factor
Ah yes, experience.  I didn't get a lot of the past job due to this.  I used to think "uhh, how can I GET experience if you don't give me a chance?!"

After interviewing these people, I realized how, as the interviewer, I wasn't thinking about that at all.  From my POV, if I had two people that were more or less equal but one person had previous experiences whereas the other had none, I'm going to go with the one with experience.  To me, that person would probably get a hang of things faster and would have more success seeing as he or she has done similar work before.  It's nothing personal; just thinking about it through a purely business view. 

Person #2 and Person #3 both had potential to do well, but in the end I picked Person #3 for several reasons, one of which had to do with her having previous experiences.  Person #2 was nice and capable, but frankly it's not my problem that he hasn't done jobs like this before.  I do sincerely hope things work out for him, but alas I have to think what would be best for our club.  Should I take a chance on someone who may or may not do well, or should I take a chance on someone who has proven they have done well before?  As you can see, the decision isn't really too hard.

I'm sure there's more I could talk about, but those were the first thoughts that popped up.  I'm definitely going to use the knowledge I gained from this exprience in future interviews I go to!  I hope it helps some of you guys out as well that may be looking for jobs.  Try not to get too discouraged from future rejections; it's nothing personal hopefully.

You know what I'm talking about.  You're going about life just minding your own business when all of a sudden these thoughts creep up on you.  "What if I had done this?"  "What if I could have been smarter when I was younger?"  "What if she really isn't the right one for me?"  Questions like these can mess up your view of things drastically and can lead you to make choices you weren't even considering just a few moments ago. 

A big example of that from my life regards that last question:  "What if she really isn't the right one for me?"  It was a question I asked myself a few years back, while I was about 2 years into my relationship with my college sweetheart.  Everything was going relatively fine.  We never had any really big problems and we got along amazingly well.  If I didn't know better, I would have said there was no one better for me.  I used to think, "I'm with a great girl that I'm happily committed to.  I am so fortunate."

Of course, things changed one day.  Out of the blue, she asked me "So, where do you think we should live after we graduate?"  With that question, something seemingly woke up in my head.  All of these doubts and "what if"s started flying around, confusing my scheme of things.  I started to think "Wow, are we already thinking that far ahead?  We're just 20!  Wait, we are just 20 years old!  Am I sure she is right for me?  What if she isn't and I made a mistake?  What if there's someone else better for me out there?  What if I had passed her by already?  What if what if what if..." 

Long story short, those doubts led to the eventual end of our relationship.  By the time I realized how stupid I was to be thinking of those "what if" thoughts, it was too late.  The glass was broken and she also began to have those thoughts as well. 

Looking back at that time over the years, I used to think "What if I hadn't had those thoughts?  What if I had kept my mouth shut?  What if we had continued the way we were?  Would we have been together to this day?" 

However, I finally stopped that when I realized I need to stop thinking about all those "what if"s.  There are infinite amount of possibilities throughout the course of my life and this just so happened to be my path.  I started to think of that "mistake" as not a mistake at all.  Had I not done that back then, I'm sure I would still be wrestling with those commitment issues and insecurities I used to have.  Had I not done that, I wouldn't have done so many wonderful things that, looking back, I never would have had the chance to do or experience had that relationship continued.  Perhaps what happened was exactly what was suppose to happen at that point of time.

I don't see myself getting married anytime soon.  However, I think I would be perfectly fine with meeting the girl that would eventually be my wife at this point of my life.  Over the years, I have grown to be very confident about who I am and what the important things really are.  I just got to keep reminding myself that everything that has happened before, whether good or bad, had led me to where and what I am today.  It is for that reason that I will not let those pesky "what if"s affect me so much ever again.