Month: October 2011

  • We Are All Motherfn’ Monsters!

    Something bad has happened to Team ASSCATSimilar to a previous event that happened last year, Halloween has changed each member into different, frightening creatures.  Before, we were all decent (more or less) human beings.  Now, look what has become of us…

    This transformation has forced all of us to turn against one another.  We each set off to gather our own legions of supernaturals to fight along side us just in case we are ever forced to do battle with our former comrades.  In the end, ASSCAT members turned fellow Xangans into hellish monsters to join their crews:



    Which group do you least want to run into alone?

  • Urgh, First World Problems! (Video)

    Click on the clip below to hear me whine about an oh so crucial matter that I’m dealing with right now.  It’s okay, please don’t feel bad for me after you hear about this horrible pain and suffering I’m going through:

    Joking aside, I really do not get why there’s only ever just one that appears at any given time.  Do they somehow know when one dies, so it gets replaced right away?  Is it a family member exacting revenge on me for killing a kin?  Is it actually the same one, but reincarnated to haunt me forever?  I really wonder…

    Anyway, that’s my current first world problem.  What first world problems are troubling you lately?  Let me know.  Remember, misery loves company!


    BTW, here’s a sneak preview of my upcoming Halloween post.  Say hello to the beautiful Team ASSCAT

    Notice something different about us?  Hint: it’s not new haircuts.

  • Just in Case of Zombies…

    As some of you might know, the 2nd season of The Walking Dead debuted this past weekend and I was VERY excited to catch it.  I’m not sure if many of you know this about me, but I became a fan of the zombie genre ever since I read World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide.  The idea of it fascinate me and I don’t know why exactly.

    After I finished watching the show, my imaginative brain started kicking and made me think, “What if a zombie apocalypse happened right now while I was in my room?  I don’t have any weapons like guns or swords lying around, so what could I use?”

    Looking around my room, I only spotted a couple things I could use to potentially defend myself with.



    Tennis Rackets

    Ah, my trusty rackets.  These wouldn’t be so bad to use initially as I can swing them rather fast at an approaching zedhead, but they probably would break after the third or fourth one I try to take down.  Hmm, what else could I use?



    Black Panther Cane

    I won this cane at a wedding I recently attended and have kept it around ever since.  While it could be intimidating to a human, it’s too hollow to make much of an impact on a walker that doesn’t feel pain.  This would most likely break faster than the rackets as well.

    As you can see, my tennis racket and cane wouldn’t really be effective weapons in the long run.  I would need something more durable and reliable to have with me.  With that in mind, I decided to purchase a tool that meets all those requirements.



    A Large Crowbar

    Ability to pry open doors and crush skulls?  Relatively lightweight and able to take a beating?  Endorsed by The Zombie Survival Guide and Half-Life‘s Gordon Freeman?  I say that’s good enough for me.  LEGGO!

    Don’t worry, I’m not crazy (yet).  I’m pretty sure I won’t be battling the undead anytime soon, but at least I can say I won’t be helpless if the situation arises!  (Literally! Since you know, dead people would be rising up and…okay okay, I’ll stop explaining.)

    If you didn’t have a real weapon lying around, what improvised weapon would you equip yourself with in order to fight off those pesky zombies?

  • Past TV Shows That Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations

    I’ve been a big fan of television for as long as I could remember.  For 30-60 minutes at a time, you get to experience a whole other world that you generally don’t see in your regular life.  Those brief escapes from reality were, and still are, a great incentive to keep me watching.

    Even though I knew that television shows were created for my entertainment and that not everything I saw was real, there were times when I had a hard time distinguishing which TV facts were rooted in truths and which were spiced up.  It didn’t help that I was still a confused, middle school kid when I had these ideas of how the world should be.  Some of my biggest gaffes came from shows such as…


    #3. Popeye the Sailor Man

     
    Why does the spinach look like drugs?
      Wait a minute…

    On the Show:  Whenever it look like Popeye is in trouble, he just pops a can of spinach down his throat and TADA!  He’s kicking ass!

    My Expectation:
      Spinach will give me MOAR POWER!

    The Reality:  While healthy, it didn’t quite give me the boost I was looking for when I challenged my neighbor, who was at least a foot taller and 2 times my weight, to a wrestling match.  Ouch. 


    #2. Dawson’s Creek

    The bed: where all the cool kids are

    On the Show:  When Joey visits Dawson, she doesn’t ring the doorbell and walk through the front door.  Nope, she just climbs right through his window.  Dawson does not get phased by this, so it is assumed that this is normal behavior.

    My Expectation:
      My pretty neighborhood friend will also start climbing through my window at night to hang out!

    The Reality:  Apparently girls, like the one that lived across the street from me, will be turned off if asked to climb up my ladderless house to lay in bed with me at night.  Whodathunk?


    #1. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Or Basically Any Show with a Father Figure)

    On the Show:  Whenever the son is sad about something, the father character (or in Will’s case, the uncle) would sit down with him and give some words of wisdom and/or comfort.  It’s not unusual for them to hug it out at the end.

    My Expectation:
      Dad will comfort me (with great empathy) whenever I am feeling down!

    The Reality:  My dad, being the typical Asian dad, never did anything close to what I saw of fathers on TV.  I think I started harboring resentment towards him in my youth, wondering why he didn’t love me.  It was only later on that I realized he does cares for me, but he shows it in indirect ways.  Nonetheless, I made it a point that I will behave more like the typical TV dad than the typical Asian dad in the future towards my children.  I want my kids to never doubt that they can count on me to be there for them in their times of need.


    So now that I mentioned some of my past naive beliefs, I’m curious about some of yours.  What was the silliest expectation you had thanks to something you saw on a TV show? 

  • Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (5th Edition in NYC!)

    A new month, a new set of reenacted Cyanide and Happiness comics!  This time, I enlisted some of my fellow Xanga friends that were with me in NYC this past weekend.  Thank you all for helping out.  Enjoy these 6 new comic strips:


    #1 What a Stud! (ft. @Roadlesstaken and @Juicyer)

    #2 That Look You Can’t Refuse (ft. @Cakalusa, @Nimbusthedragon, and @Roadlesstaken)

    #3  Faux Pas Greeting (ft. @Roadlesstaken and @Suefa_Lee)

    #4 Great Start to the Morning (ft. @Timmmmmmy and @Cakalusa)

    #5 How Unfortunate (ft. @Swtaznxtc90 and @Hello_Bianca)

    #6 Baby When the Lights Go Out (ft. @Roadlesstaken and @Nimbusthedragon)

    Which is the best this time?  Let me know your favorite(s) below!

    Links to past C&H posts:
    Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted!
    Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (Again!)
    Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (With Canadians!)

    Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (4th Edition!)

  • The CATs Become Hipsters!

    Hello guys!  Sorry for the slight hiatus in blogging.  I got wrapped up in work last week and this past weekend I took yet another trip to NYC to hang out with some cool Xangans. 



    A very small taste of the fun trip

    I could tell so many stories, but I’m thinking I might keep the juicy ones just between the folks that I went with.  Don’t worry curious people, I’m pretty sure some tales and bad pictures will leak out eventually (oh boy…). 

    Anyway, at some point during this weekend @nimbusthedragon somehow converted the CATs of ASSCAT from this…

    into this…


    Look at those frickin’ hipsters

    Clearly with the looks come the attitudes, right?  Let’s see what the Xanga Hipsters think of…

    …Meets

    …Drama

    …Blogging

    Stay cultured and hip, you cronkites and tassels!