I did.

Not surprising, she was very angry at me for doing that.  Who could blame her?  At the time, things were wonderful.  The chemistry was unmistakably there and we had the timing down.  We could talk and laugh for hours.  Seeing her made me smile uncontrollably.  She was what I looked forward to at the end of a long day.  We were by no means perfect, but I honestly couldn’t have asked for more.  She was happy.  I was happy. 

Sadly, I knew this perfect moment we had couldn’t continue.  Soon, the timing would no longer be on our side.  Without it, we could probably survive on our chemistry for a little while longer.  However, our relationship would eventually deteriorate.  I worried that if we waited until then, our inevitable separation would be worse for the both of us.  With that in mind, I was convinced that I had to end things before it went down that rough path.

Although I made what I believe was the most logical decision, I suffered for a long time with my choice.  The guilt of it weighed heavily on my heart as I struggled to ride it out.  I wish I could have comfort her, but that wasn’t an option at that point.  Very quickly it went from our once great, passionate relationship to…becoming strangers. 

As bad as it ended, I would be a fool to wish that we had never happened.  I do not regret our time together, nor do I wish to dwell upon the sad conclusion.  Despite everything, I will remember the blissful, perfect moment we were lucky enough to share for a brief period.  I am going to appreciate that forever.

I do wonder though…if there’s a version of us out there that is still together, that managed to get pass the obstacles laid before them.  If I had more belief, faith, and perhaps more luck, could that have been us?  Was that path even possible?  I guess it doesn’t matter now, but still, I wonder…

I cannot wait until you meet that someone that will give you all that you deserve.  To see you as happy again will bring so much joy to me.  I truly mean that. 

Really, if they are going to dismiss you so easily without putting real consideration into what they concluded of you, why should you give what they said any respect?  Go ahead and dismiss their words just as coolly.  It’s one thing if it’s constructive criticism, but their opinions are ultimately meaningless and a waste of time to dwell on if they stem from ignorance, jealousy, insecurity, apathy, etc.

I admit, I’m not completely innocent.  I’ve caught myself taking on the hater role before.  It’s quite easy to fall into that trap when you judge people or things based on first impressions, an emotional response, or shoddy information, which I’m sure a lot of us have done for one reason or another.  When I reflect on those times, I can’t help recognizing how poorly I approached those situations.  My opinions from those moments proved to hold little to no value, as they deserved.

To those that have to deal with unwarranted, careless, hostile remarks directed at you, I say…

I couldn’t quite figure it out at the time, but I felt a certain impact from those words.  Some recent events and comments I’ve experienced led me to finally understand why what she said to Dex gave me pause.

I’m afraid that the way Dex’s mother saw him at that moment in time is how some people, the ones that matter the most in my life, are beginning to see me.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling the best about myself as a person.  Do I still think I’m an overall decent person with good intentions?  Sure, I guess.  However, good intentions means crap if I somehow end up hurting those that care about me. 

How did this happen?  I wonder if it began taking shape back in 2007, when I started learning to be independent again after becoming and remaining single during the following years.  Moving out to a new place this past year has also made me learn to watch out for myself, focusing on my needs.  Over time, I began making more and more decisions that benefited me more than it benefited others.  That, in of itself, isn’t a bad thing, but I worry it has made me care about my self-interests way too much.

I still aim to be considerate of others through my actions.  I still strive for empathy and understanding for people’s wishes and concerns.  I push to be humble.  I want to be someone my peers and family look up to.

Yet, I wonder if despite all that people judge me as becoming more inconsiderate, impatient, selfish, and prideful instead?

Don’t you worry, my friends and family.  I will figure this out and become better.  I want those that I’ve hurt or disappointed unintentionally to know that I am ashamed and truly sorry for any bad feelings I may have caused.  Hopefully, you all will see me as a decent man again through improved actions on my part. 

I can’t tell you for certain when I will change your mind, but I believe in myself enough to know I will make things right eventually. 

You can count on it. 

I think it’s about time I posted some more reenactments of Cyanide and Happiness comics!  The following 6 new comic strips were created with Xangans in NY, MD, and VA.  As always, it was fun making them with everyone.  Check them out below:

#1 What Do You Love? (ft. @LoveJennyy and @Roadlesstaken)

#2 Chris the Calamity (ft. @LitlKittyKat and @Cakalusa)

#3 Out of Town (ft. @Wyrdkismet and @Roadlesstaken)

 
#4 Laid Pick-Up Line (ft. @Cakalusa and @Jia_x3)

#5 Nerd Hero (ft. @Roadlesstaken and @LenaFaye)

#6 The Whistle (ft. @Timmmmmmy and @Roadlesstaken)

 

Which one you liked the best?

Links to past C&H posts:
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted!
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (Again!)
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (With Canadians!)

P.S. Feel free to suggest possible future comics to reenact, whether it is a C&H comic or another comic strip altogether.  Thanks in advance!

Last month, I came across this promo video for Air Swimmers (feel free to watch it first before reading on).  Cool right?  I told myself that if I ever get the chance to purchase one (it was and still is sold out online), I’m going to go for it.  Sure, I would essentially be wasting money on a remote controlled balloon that probably wouldn’t last and would probably lose its appeal quickly…but dude, it’s a frickin’ flying fish!

It didn’t take too long for me to have the opportunity to buy one as I came across it while visiting Chicago.  After 2-3 hours of frustrating assembly, I finally had my own flying shark:

You jelly?

So now that I possessed a flying shark that I could control, what did I decide to do with it?  I went with the most mature option I could think of; to annoy the hell out of my family with it!

First, I alerted my brother of my new pet:

His airzooka turned out to be a super effective defense weapon.

As was a kitchen pan.

Not the nose!  Its weakness!

Next, it was time to troll the momma.

She is not amused

I briefly surprised my dad while he was cooking…

..before moving on to my final victim:

Dun dun.  Dun dun.

Poor, unsuspecting grandma

She actually smacked my shark!  How rude!  I retaliated by blocking her precious Chinese television show.

My family learned a valuable lesson that weekend.