July 5, 2010
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I think thinking too much got in my way yesterday
Apologies for this long overdue update. As I mentioned before, I’m in the process of moving to VA. I’ll tell you more about my new place in my next post. Actually, I’ll most likely do you better by showing you the place instead, Cribs style.
Anyway, what should I talk about? I guess I can tell you some pathetic moments that I got myself into yesterday. Yeah, definitely not my proudest day ever.
With the move and my new job, I feel like I’m starting fresh on a new chapter in my life. I figured now would be a good time to revitalize myself and to seriously get back into the game. Oh, you know what game I’m talking about. Unfortunately for me, my game is very rusty as evident from my experiences during my Fourth of July trip to DC. I had at least three potential opportunities that totally got foiled by my dumb thought process, or whatever it was that went through my brain during those instances.
The first girl was by herself in the metro cart with my friend and me. I noticed her as we went inside and wanted to talk to her, but for some reason I ended up choosing a middle seat away from the seat she chose near the door. I freakin’ sabotaged myself before anything even started! Why did I sit all the way over there?? Oh wait, now I remember why; the automated metro speaker told us to move towards the center, which I apparently did. Damn it!
Strike #1.The second girl was this girl sitting next to me during the fireworks. Her group appeared near us about a few minutes before the fireworks started, with her sitting unusually close to me. Remembering what happened earlier, I made sure to stay close this time around to at least give the moment a chance. We were so close that we kept on accidentally touching one other a few times, and we even shared a couple smiles. Pitifully though, I didn’t start a conversation with her before she left. Why didn’t I? Looking back, I think I was thinking she would be annoyed by me trying to talk to her since she was paying attention to the fireworks. Well, THAT was really a stupid rationalization on my part. After she left, I absolutely regretted not opening my mouth.
Strike #2.
The last girl was this girl in the metro ride back. Not surprising, the metro was PACKED after the fireworks were over. When my friend and I finally got on the train, people were squashed in there like sardines in a can. I happened to be pressed all up against that girl to the point where our bodies were pretty much hugging one another. Thinking about those two lost opportunites before and thinking I might as well make the best of this situation, I started a nice conversation with her during the half hour ride. Honestly, I had no problem with this part and felt at ease. It went so well in fact that by the time she got off, I somehow managed to NOT ask her for essential information needed in order for us to hang out sometime. Did I really just forget, or did I have some random thought that made me hesitate? Granted, I wasn’t as physically attracted to her, but still. What. The. Hell. Alex.
Strike #3. OUT!
I know I know, I deserved to be smacked/kicked for those blunders (I know I want to kick myself). Oh well, at least I was able to improve each time. However, I obviously got some more rust to shake off. I feel confident once the conversation gets going, it’s just leading up to that scenario that I need to work on finessing. Why did I hesitate? Is it shyness, or something else? Urgh, very frustrated with myself. One step at a time I suppose.
If you happen to be with me next time such a scenario plays out, do me a favor and remind me to not mess myself up like I did yesterday. Thanks in advance. Now, I’m off to find someone to kick me in the balls.
Comments (123)
I wouldn’t think you would have these problems. 3 in one day. Damn, just stop thinking.
awe. next time will be better.
oh, alex.
you’ll have pleanty of opportunities in the future (:
Awh, Alex.
I wish you luck with everything. I’m probably not good at those things, either, but you’re much cooler than me, so I’m sure you’ll get it all together. ^_^
Omg Alex! Tsk tsk. That second girl! That doesn’t happen on a normal basis! I like talking to strangers. I enjoy it a lot. If you need me to help you whenever we’re in person again, ask me ^_^.
maybe you sub consciously didn’t like the girls as much as you thought so you didn’t wanna waste your time , sub-consciously
dude i totally understand your third and second strikes! i do that all the time!!! like with this chick at the (group) interview this past fri
lol
Justin
@crazy2love - that’s what my best friend tells me all the time lol
Justin
Hey, it’s not as bad as sending retarded emails to your ex. Talk about real embarrassment.
Aww. This happens to all of us
Next time we won’t let this happen. Pinky promise? 
awww Alex!
No worries though! It’s not a strikeout after 3, there aren’t only 3 girls in the world!
Besides, you’re improving your pick-up with every girl. — I say you get +3 bonus points for improvement.
Read for real play: http://pantsdude.xanga.com/729687941/harvard–yale-vs-craigslist-girls-flirt-off-who-wins/
Oh man, we got ourselves a shy guy.
Their loss, though.
Oh man, you, me, and Trigger need to all practice our game together in NYC…
looks like someone forgot how to utilize corny cheesy pick up lines.
Hey, lets look at it this way: if you were bowling, you’d have a turkey. Unfortunately, you were not bowling, you was playing the game. In summary, you should stick with bowling.
awe! i probably would have done the same thing. i get nervous/shy around cute boys. i forgot to even say hit. lol.
better luck next time!
xo
I had to come back and read this again. Ah, you’re adorable ^_^
@samanthabecicka - I’m think that was the case at least for the last one, maybe the first two. Hmm…still, I probably shouldn’t be so choosy.
@JustPlainMorgie - Yes, and hopefully more successes like before!
@crazy2love - I think too damn much at times.
@indiechaos - I don’t think I was nervous with the first and third girl, but the second one I probably was. I was wondering whether or not she was sitting so close to me on purpose. Blah.
@macphoto - I will not make those fails next time!
@unabridgedtales - Yeah I just need to get more comfortable again. I like knowing my surroundings, so when I don’t I become too hesitant.
@Roadlesstaken - It’s okay, I do too.
@Roadlesstaken - hush everyone should be choosy I dont know what got people thinking they shouldnt be You defiantly deserve to be choosy
@RaquelHiggins005 - I think it’s my old shyness that comes out. I feel perfectly fine once the conversation started, so I know that’s not the problem. Yes, be my wingwoman.
@ehs_swimmer2007 - I’m not proud of that for sure. Can’t be making that a habit!
@Parsimony - Haha, is that a personal story to share? Hey, that guy read from that Art of Seduction book. I remember reading that in high school out of curiosity to see if it worked. Apparently, it does and that how I got my first girlfriend.
@B1ANCACACA - Yes yes, no regrets!
@eternal_relevance - At this rate, the next one should be a hit! Lets hope at least.
@Roadlesstaken - It’s a personal tragedy better to be buried at my death bed. Posthumously published work is always more fame-worthy,
@shillykins - I think it’s my need to want to know for sure of things before making a move. I need to overcome that.
@Coffee_Kaioken - Indeed. Must shake off rust!
@sonychak - I jokingly told my friend I should have said this to girl #2: “Wow, the fireworks are beautiful. Almost as beautiful as you.” Cheese!
@Rob_of_the_Sky - I suck at bowling though…=(
@JessxMaxine - Stupid shyness or whatever it was that made me hesitate. Must remind myself to stick my neck out!
@RaquelHiggins005 - This is not adorable, it’s pathetic! Haha, I WILL remedy this.
sighhhhh… lol
aww well theres always next time. Its hard to get back in the game. so i wish you luck
@Roadlesstaken - Well then you don’t have to worry about getting any strikes at the bowling alley then.
@Roadlesstaken - Scared of rejection?
These baseballs I’m holding in my hand here? See them? They are not metaphors for cajones, my friend. They’re here because I just played baseball. Oh, and you mentioned three strikes, a symbolism of sort?
@CaKaLusa - Perhaps, as in three strikes and I get a deserving kick in the cajones.
@shillykins - Sadly, I think so. I think subconsciously think back to a couple of rejections I had within the past couple of years, which ended up making me hesitate.
@boyhnc - Thanks. I’ll fix this problem!
@Roadlesstaken - ^_^ It is adorable! But then again, I just think shyness is cute.(yeah, I’m one of those people -_-) But you’ll get better. Actually, I don’t even think it’s necessary. If you find someone who just clicks that well with you, you’re flirting/macking skills won’t need to top notch at all ^_^. Oh gosh, I’m so sappy.
@Roadlesstaken - well i know you can do it, i believe in you
. hence no worries, i have no game lol im still working on that too
@RaquelHiggins005 - In the past, I’ve always done best with people I sorta know first. Starting a conversation with a total stranger is still something I obviously need to work on.
@Roadlesstaken - yeah, I Agree. Xanga meet. Me. You. Practice. ^_^ Ah, I wished I lived near you lol
@Roadlesstaken - ya i know what you mean maybe you can do that old fashioned thing where u associate pain with those three strikes? lol
well as long as you show definite improvement…no worries!
Haha, I laughed at your tags for this entry. Regarding the three “strikes,” I think you’re being a wee bit too self-critical. At least you’re being proactive about it; at least you thought about taking the next step! You’ll do better next time for sure ^^
Live and learn.
@RaquelHiggins005 - Well, you sorta do. You’re only a short bus trip away!
@Dobserver - Falling, but I’m getting back up at least
@Senlin - Haha, good to see someone noticed that. I’ve always been my biggest critic. It’s just so stupid that I still hesitate when I know I shouldn’t. I feel absolutely fine talking with someone after the initial contact, but getting that initial contact is apparently still an issue for me right now. I shall overcome!
@tsotofu - What’s that in your profile picture?
@Roadlesstaken - a chrome statuette of Dr Seuss’s horton
You know what the people on the train are thinking what you are? Creeper. Don’t force it.
@Roadlesstaken - you think too much. just go with it. relax. get outta of your head sometimes
On July 3, I spoke to two girls and got a name. I would have asked for their number, but that wasn’t my intention. Maybe I could have. But don’t force it.
oh and i updated the post with photos
@stupid_systemus - So what you’re trying to say is don’t force it I’m guessing haha. Would you say that’s the same as being not proactive? Being passive hasn’t really worked out all that great. Btw, I don’t think creeper is necessarily the only thing people can think. I’m pretty sure the third girl did not think that.
@Roadlesstaken - not saying that either. just let it happen. you’re making it very calculated and complicated than it is.
@stupid_systemus - The game is pretty complicated when you think about it. I wish it was simpler.
@Roadlesstaken - That’s cause you think of it like a game. In a way it is, but by calculating, you just lost the game. You have to find a way to talk to people without appearing like you’re thinking about your next move. As of right now, you do just that and people can see it. Heck, I can see it.
Aww, I’m sorry about your “strike out”! On the bright side, you seemed to have slightly learned from each situation, so maybe the next time you meet a girl that you are interested in, you’ll be able to strike up a conversation and more!
And I totally know how you feel…. I recently had the same thing happen to me and was totally kicking myself afterwards for not having the balls to be more forward with the guy I was talking with. It could have made a HUGE difference in my summer.
@stupid_systemus - Not quite sure how you see it if you weren’t there to see what happen yesterday, but I do understand what you mean Jose. I personally feel I haven’t been thinking about my next move or whatever in my most recent past. I just talk to most people to be friendly without looking into much more. I’m just now starting to put more thought into looking for possibly more with certain people I meet.
Well, now you’ll have 7+ wingmen/women for the NYC Xang meet, so you’re bound to find someone.
@Roadlesstaken - you’ll find that special someone when you “imprint” on them lol
@AmyC0987 - At least there’s always more chances out there for us.
@mycontinuity - Haha that’s true, although personally the meet up in NY is more for fun meeting with other Xangans than trying to find someone. Ideally, I need to find someone much closer to home.
@stupid_systemus - Oh gosh.
Hey, when I come visit, maybe I can be your wingman!… woman…?
@randaness - Okay =)
@Roadlesstaken - I will have no idea what I’m doing. Perhaps eHow can give me some pointers…
it’s okay, situations like that will pop up all the time. You will eplenty of opprutunity to “shake off your rust”. Remember in the movie 40 Year Old Virgin, the black guy tells Steve Carell he’s “putting the p***y on a pedastal”. He overthinks and overanalyzes it. Believe me, when a guy comes up to talk to me, I don’t care about pickup lines or finesse. I want him to genuinely say Hi and introduce himself. Women are chatterboxes. If we like you, we will start up the conversation all on our own. If we don’t, we pretend we don’t speak english (works for us asian girls).
oh. my. gosh. especially to number 2. that would have bene so cute
“we met on july 4th…watching fireworks…”
You’re moving to VA?? where in VA?
“Now, I’m off to find someone to kick me in the balls.”
Have fun~ send a postcard.
@nepenthium - I’ll attach a picture of me kneeling down in pain.
@swtaznxtc90 - Vienna, VA, in Northern VA. Are you familiar with VA?
@nerdyveggiegirl - Yeah, like I said I’m pretty good with the conversation part, just the initial contact. I definitely did overthink it this time around though.
Lol, I totally get it. I’m the same way. I kinda don’t get if a guy’s interested until he asks me out. Up until then, I just assume he’s just a friendly guy. I just kinda figure, it’ll happen when it happens. If I see a guy I might be interested in, I’ll try to “create an opprutunity”, so to speak. Like find a reason to say Hi, and see if he takes it from there. If he doesn’t “take the bait”, I just figure he’s not interested. I’m dumb that way- I assume guys chase.
Have you ever notice that when you really want something, but no matter how much effort you put into it, it seems like you aren’t going to get it, and as soon as you decide not to stress about it and just let it happen if it happens, you get what you want? You might not have seen HalloweenTown, but one of my favorite lines is when the grandmother witch says something along the lines of “Picture what you want, and let yourself have it!” That’s what you should do! Just let the universe know what you want ( and let yourself know that you deserve what you want), and eventually you will get it ( after putting in some effort, of course.). So don’t worry about it. You’ll meet someone special! You just have to trust God to led your love life down the right path!
@nerdyveggiegirl - I’m afraid there has been times I haven’t been proactive enough in the recent past. Hopefully I can remedy that.
@chococatcrazi - MOST DEFINITELY. It succkkkks haha.
@Roadlesstaken - Yeah….actually it kind of does. The effort part is really frustrating, but the “just letting it happen” part is worth it, I think.
I wouldn’t stress about it if I were you. Life happens when we’re busy making other plans
Besides, those girls today coulda been psychos, for all u know. Mby u subconciously dodged a bullet, lol
Don’t be so hard on yourself, there will be a lot of chances.
@nerdyveggiegirl - perhaps perhaps =P
if it makes you feel better, I’m kicking myself for something this past weekend. I guess we live and learn from various situations to not make the same mistakes twice!
Haha aw… I have to give you props though. A lot of guys can’t even approach a girl, let alone strike up a conversation. Next time Alex… there’s always a next time =)
No worries, it will get better as you get a little more comfortable. It is hard to get a name and number from someone who you only cross paths with though…without coming off as a creeper. Maybe go hangout at some local bookstore or coffee choza so you can converse and get a lil more at ease before you blatantly have to show interest. Plus in a place like that you can ask if they hangout there very often, and if they do suggest meeting there together sometime soon. I never hand out any digits to someone i just met, just doesn’t feel safe to me. Paranoia!!! lol. =]
*awww* I think that’s cute, how you can get nervous!!
PS – moving takes a lot of work… I just moved 15 minutes away from my previous house and it was hectic )= good luck with your moving!
Think of each one of the “blunders” as lessons, so that next time you meet a girl you take an interest in you’ll know what not to do!
the problem is, you are actually secretly wanting one of the xangan in here, that you keep sabotaging yourself out there XD
Maybe it’s better off since you’re moving.
And once you’re in VA, you’ll be able to use the “I’m new in town” angle for a good few months!
It’s been so long that Ihaven’tkicks someone. Any volunteer?
haha, it happens, don’t worry about it! btw, are we doing our annual va beach trip this year? you’re starting a new job so i understand if we’re not, but it’s always been tons of fun!
The first story wasn’t that bad, but that second one?!???
It’s okay, there are literally millions of girls out there. Sooooo… maybe next time?
@Shades_of_Athena - I know, I’m just annoyed with my decision making that day haha
@aJoLLyDork - What did you do?
@neekersha - I’m gonna try not to hesitate next time!
@Eternalimplosion - So you wouldn’t suggest me going up to someone saying “can I get your digits BABY?” haha j/k
@babixling - Urgh, I don’t think it’s cute haha. Yeah, moving does take a lot of effort. I’m glad my new place is furnish because I don’t know what I would have done about a bad and drawers.
@jumpthenfly - Exactly, I shall do better next time!
@maniacsicko - Hmmmm, interesting theory.
@reallifedemo - ^___^ I am new.
@RestlessButterfly - Feel free to kick me. Don’t go easy.
@blubunni326 - Kenny and I actually sorta went a couple of weeks ago. My job sent me to VA Beach for a day. It does seem like a busy summer though, so I’m not sure if we can do a big trip down there. However, if someone plans it I’ll try to find time.
@bluehoursky - I know, sad. I’ll know better next time.
AHAHHA..that’s funny, but hey atleast you got better each time. Inning number two coming up! Open your eyes, and your mouth this time please!
ALEX! is it THAT hot out?
we need to collaborate, immediately. we can’t have this happen again. O.o
Aww, sweet Alex. Your day will come, of this I have no doubts. Practice makes perfect?
Less thinking, more doing! <3
@TheBigShowAtUD - Indeed. I need to step my game up.
@Shopgirl0393 - Yes yes! I’ll will be the very best, like no one ever was! Hmm, where did I get that from…
@throughsamseyes - Yes mam!
its okays man .
those 3 just werent meant to be. .
now time to practice those lameooo pick up lines
@ordinary_gir1 - Would this line been lame for girl #2: Those fireworks sure are beautiful. Almost as beautiful as you
Haha…Remind me to kick you in the sack when I get to meet you. LOL
There will be many more opportunities. No worries.
Aw, if it makes you feel better, I’m sure these girls are thinking the exact same things as you
I think it frequently enough.
ah. mulligans. well, maybe i can try to find time to plan something, but that’s sorta unlikely. you were the brains of the operations alex!
@oxyGENE_08 - You got it buddy
@TheCheshireGrins - I’m not too worried =)
@x_onholiday - It probably does happen a lot. Smooth criminal I was not yesterday
@blubunni326 - Haha, mulligans. I like that word. You got this Elaine!
@Roadlesstaken - I’m serious yo! hahaha
I’m more rusty than you are lol
Until i get some time off to visit you, you can text me to tell you to go for it = )
ew. I’ve lived in Richmond, Virginia my entire life. Same house for 25 years. I’m been trying to get the hell OUT of here.
but no meet ups!
It’s okay Alex, I sat next to two fireman paramedics and all I did was narrow myself on the bench so I would be touching NOTHING. One even tried to get me to relax by sharing stories about his kid to his partner. I’ve been doing this type of thing quite a lot, but I’m usually really easy going. Not sure whats wrong with me either. But you really had a good chance with the girl watching fireworks! Don’t let it happen again! Haha.
I think it’s ADORABLE when guys are flustered like that. But it gets old after a while so shake it off, champ! You were most likely sabotaging your chance to date them because, subconsciously, you know you’re in love with me. It’s okay. Plenty of men are. And by men, I mean imaginary people.
Ohh, Alex. You’re better at it than me! =P
But I kind of don’t have to bother being any good at it. So meh. xP
dude you just gotta start not giving a damn and talking!
which sucks since you’re a guy, so if you start talking to a chick with a dude, then it’s just like UHHH WHY ARE YOU HITTING ON MY GIRL… but then if it’s me, then it’s juts like, ok, obv that chick isn’t gay
@Yohkom - Okay. Hurry up with the visiting!
@explosive - Haven’t been there yet, but I’ll probably end up going there sometime soon for my job.
@Mimi - Yes, will not let that opportunity pass again!
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Damn, I didn’t want everyone on Xanga to know about our love yet! Oh well, it was time.
@Rhia_Pyrithea - You don’t wanna get good at it?
@snapeful - Haha oh how I miss your gay comments =) . I saw those convention pictures! No Yuffie?
it happens! I think any girl…can be a potential..doesnt have to be serendipitous. But yea, couldve started a convo, a friend is always a good start…=) Sometimes I find myself dating unexpected guys….its like…wow i really never expected u to be my soulmate?
just a little info for your day to make you feel better….girls enjoy guys that take their time:) not guys that rush into things…..
@Roadlesstaken - nah, i didn’t feel like wearing it.
@dark_light1115 - Shows that they’re truly interested right?
@retarded_beautiful - I guess I need to hire more wingmen/women!
“cowards die a thousands deaths. the valiant taste of death but once.” – shakespeare
tattoo that on the back of your hand so you don’t forget.. it’ll also make you look hardcore so you might score!!
ohh.. sorry, but loose the preppy look. just sayen’ that’s all.
@MusicallyEclectic - That is a good quote.
Oooh I never read it from a guys perspective before…! Interesting!
Let’s roll… I will totally be your wingwoman. I have no shame.
boy. you need a wingman.
@verified_but_still_denied - @Linh_L - The more wingpeople the merrier.
@yan_ni - I was debating whether or not to write about this, but whatev.
@Linh_L - *high fives*
@Roadlesstaken - Lol. it’ll be perfect. I’ll be like the accesory.i’ll be the crazy dumbass!
@Roadlesstaken - Oh my. Less Pokemon, more girls! ;D
i volunteer!!!!
as wingwoman, not ball-kicker.
@shatterFocus - Uh huh, sure both would be fine with you.
@Roadlesstaken - I haven’t got the boys to mess with to get good at it. (aka I’m not allowed to date, so I’d have to do everything in secret. Which I already do, but god it takes SO much more effort.) I also don’t have tons of guys fawning over me, or any initial interest in 99% of the ones I just see. Meh.
*pats shoulder* It’s all good. You’ll get it next time!
@karen0z - Mojo, hurry up and come back!
Aw, Alex. This is a bit sad, but if any of those girls are meant to be in your life, they’ll come back to you.
If not, someone even moooore special is awaiting you. 
@HelloKitty0809 - Hopefully that’s the case