December 22, 2008

• There’s a difference between preference and prejudice

  I wasn’t planning on writing another post so soon, but I feel the urge to write this after reading so many blatantly racist comments being made on Theif’s Datingish post. 

  Personally, I don’t have as big of a problem with the post itself.  Reading through it, I thought the post was funny and that Theif has her heart in the right place, but perhaps the execution could have been a bit better.  I’m glad she pointed out that there are indeed normal Asian guys who are many good adjectives and I can understand how her experiences have made her think a lot of Asian guys lack initiative or what not. 

  However, correlation does not imply causation, and that’s where I think the post could have been improved on.  Are there timid Asian guys?  Yes there are, but there are also timid Black guys, White guys, Hispanic guys, etc.  Asian guys come in many shape and sizes as well.  Just because you’ve met a few Asian guys that are timid and not confident does not mean the next few Asian guys you meet will be the same.  There are so many factors that plays a part in determining a person’s character.

  I went to UMBC, which is one of the most diverse colleges in the nation (there’s a reason why people joke around that UMBC stands for “U Must Be Chinese” ).  Trust me, I’ve seen a whole variety of characters within different races and I find it extremely hard to characterize one race as always having certain traits.  Gentlemen and assholes exists in every race and ethnicity, and you’re only fooling yourself if you think one race has more of one type over another.

  So like I said, the OP didn’t bother me so much as a lot of the comments I saw.  I would cringe each time I came across a comment that pretty much says “Asian guys suck.  White guys are so much better which is why I only date them”.  When you make a comment like that, you are basically saying that one group of men is inferior to another group of men based on their race.  Yeah, that’s literally the definition of racism right there.
  
  Imagine this.  Let say you heard on the news that some employer was not hiring Asian people in public relations because they believe they are way too timid to do the job well.  Their defense is that in their past, they were friends with Asian folks that happen to be shy, so they conclude most Asian people were like that.  Thus, they only hire White people for public relations because they believe they are more confident in general and in turn will do a better job.  What would be your opinion of this employer?

  Now I can understand if you have a preference for dating one race over another, just as long as you don’t completely exclude an entire group based on stereotypes of one’s race.  For example, I find that I prefer dating White and Asian girls.  That being said, I would not mind dating say a Black or Hispanic girl.  All that can be said of my preference is that I have the tendency to go for White or Asian girls more often.   However, if a fine, confident, funny girl comes into my life then race would be the least of my factors for determining whether or not I want to date her. 

  Conclusion.  If you’re not already, please start judging the merits of a person on a case-by-case basic and do not judge an entire race of people based on preconceived generalizations.  Stereotypes are just that, stereotypes.  Correlation does not imply causation.  Keep an open mind and don’t assume personality traits based on one’s race.  Lets make this world a happier place

  P.S. I highly recommend checking out franksabunch’s post “It sucks to be an Asian guy.  Well, if you believe everything you read“, which was one of my main inspiration to write this post.  He practically said all the things that were needed to be said.  I just wanted to add a bit of my take on this issue.

  • 9:31 pm
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