While visiting home during Thanksgiving break, I was showing someone my photo albums of me as a kid.  As you might have guessed from the title, @Timmmmmmy appeared a bunch of times in those old shots.  Just for funsies, I will show you guys! *A lot of pictures ahead*

Hawt overalls.

I was apparently already hammy…

I miss riding these cars!  They were battery-powered and everything.  I wonder how much they cost, especially back then.

Timmy’s too cool to smile big, so I will!

I like big balls and I cannot lie.

 

Birthday king (with leis, obviously).  Look at Timmy’s nerd glasses.

Still being cheesy, while Timmy’s still playing it cool.

NO TIMMY, I DID NOT STEAL YOUR SEAT HERE!  DON’T JUMP ME BRO!

Last night, my brain decided it would be fun to tire me out so I would go to bed, only for it to say “Nevermind!”  As I lied there annoyed, I started pondering about a lot of things I know I wouldn’t be able to figure out overnight.  One of those thoughts was about the motives I have to do what I do, like traveling for example.  I’ll say it’s because it’s fun, that I get to meet up with people and have new experiences, which is all true.  However, there seems to be another reason underneath it all.  I feel I’m trying to find…something.  What that something is is still unclear to me, but I have some theories as to what it could be.

I’m reminded of the situation in a movie called The Adjustment Bureau (some spoilers ahead).  The main character was lonely and unhappy, so he tried to validate himself by becoming a successful politician.  That may have worked out all fine and dandy for him had he not encountered “the girl” (dun dun dun).  As it turned out, his life was better with her around since she provided him the security and happiness he long sought for, and vice versa. 

Unfortunately for them, a dilemma arose where he was forced to make a difficult choice: he could stay with the girl but have both of them lose their respective career successes, or they could each have very rewarding careers but do so without each other.  He picked the latter, probably more logical option, at first, but the hole inside of him grew so much that he ended up saying “Screw it!” and fought to be reunited with the girl.  Being together, they didn’t have to keep on searching for that validation and success that could possibly fill their voids.  What they had was already enough.

I get how that decision appears to some people, I do.  How foolish, emotional, even irrational for them to pick love!  Don’t they realize how much is going against them?  What if they had it all wrong and they end up separating in the future?  I say all of that too, and yet…I have a feeling I would have risked making the same exact choices if there was even the chance we would be fulfilled, and perhaps self-actualize in the process.

Hmm.  Despite all the disillusions and setbacks I’ve encountered thus far in life, it seems that the hopeful, foolish dreamer that’s inside of me does not want to go away.  Well, may he find whatever it is that will be enough to fill any emptiness residing in me.  I’m rooting for you.

You may have noticed that some of the ASSCAT members have not been as active on the site lately.  Sorry about that, but you know how real life can be.  Life has given all of us a lot on our plates, such as finishing grad school, being a BAUSS at work, fending off girls, and what not. 

Take Shawn, aka @Junbelievable08 for instance.  You probably don’t know this, but Hollywood has been begging to work with him for a while now and Shawn finally found time in his busy schedule to obliged them this year.  Now he’s out shooting guest appearances on a bunch of television shows.

He can be elusive to find at times, so let’s play a game of…

Look who’s listening intently to Kathy Bates debating her case on Harry’s Law:

I wonder who he’s too busy texting with that he completely ignores Gary Sinise and an attractive woman sitting next to him on CSI: NY?  (Must be either one of us or one of his many lady friends…)

Seems like Zooey Deschanel brings out his partying side on New Girl:

Ahh, I saved the best for last.  Nothing too special at first.  Just hipster Shawn chilling on Whitney:

Suddenly, we go from seeing a lot of Shawn’s face…

…to seeing a lot of Shawn’s booty:

Can it breathe in there, man??

Oh yeah, he likes what he sees.  I don’t know how you sneaked that by the FCC, Shawn.  That is too hot for TV!

Alright, we’re out of time.  That’s it for this week’s game of “Where’s Shawn?”.  Stay tuned next time for upcoming appearances coming to a television show near you!

@Timmmmmmy and I have been friends for a long time, ever since our moms were pregnant with us.  Over the years, we have been a part of each other’s lives at various points.  Here’s us during 8th grade formal, for instance:

Why yes, that tall guy was an 8th grader. No joke.

What could possibly ever come between us?  Must be something really serious, right?  Perhaps a girl?  Well, before I tell you more about that, let me briefly tell you what brought this up.

Yesterday evening, I was chatting with my mom about what I’ll be doing for Thanksgiving.  I told her I will most likely spend it at Timmy’s with his family since they normally celebrate the holiday whereas my family does not.  Hearing this, my mom remembered that I didn’t spend Thanksgiving at their place last year like I normally do.  Apparently, this was so unusual that Timmy’s mom called my mom worrying that Timmy and I were fighting. 

Hearing that made me laugh, mostly because it reminded me of the only time Timmy and I got into anything resembling a real fight.  I personally thought it was over the dumbest thing, but Timmy, to this day, still tries to justify his actions.  Perhaps you guys can be the judges and settle this once and for all for us!

This incident took place during sophomore year of high school while we were eating at the cafeteria with friends.  We both went to different lines to get food.  I got my food first, so I went back and sat down at our table.  Timmy later came by and looked upset.  He sat off to the side away from me, which was confusing.  I tried to talk to him to see what was up, but he ignored me.

Still unsure as to what was bothering him, I tried talking to Timmy the next day only to once again receive the silent treatment.  I didn’t find out what was the matter until after I heard it through a mutual friend.  Apparently, the reason why he was mad was because I took his seat at lunch, something that I honestly did not realize I did.

Do you know how long Timmy continued to hold that grudge against me?  A few days?  A week?  A month?  Nope.  He ended up not speaking to me for a whole frickin’ school year!  So awkward.  Obviously we have made up since then, but we still argue in jest about who was more wrong in this situation.

Now, let me ask you this:  If you were in Timmy’s shoes, would you have handled this situation any differently?  How long would you be mad at someone for taking your seat at a cafeteria?  Have you ever gotten into an unnecessary fight over something trivial?  Do you think Timmy should let me slap him for Slapsgiving?

I know you want to say yes!

UPDATE:  Here is Timmy’s version of the event.  Sounds plausible, but even he admits the year long silent treatment was too extreme…so I believe I win =)

2ND UPDATE:  Here is @Cakalusa ‘s version of us.  Okay, he wins.

Lately though, I’ve been troubled by the state of some of my friendships.  I feel like the people’s priorities shifted elsewhere and they no longer make time for me like they used to in the past.  What sucks more is when I know they’re available to hang out, but I’m not asked to join.  I feel dumbfounded by this change, especially since these were people I once considered would make excellent groomsmen in my future wedding.  Now?  I question whether it would feel too awkward to invite them at all.

I do ask myself if all of this is just the natural progression.  I understand that some people are only meant to be a part of our lives during certain points, only to later move on because we’ve outgrow one another.  Is that the case here? 

Perhaps I am the problem instead.  I admit that I make mistakes and I occasionally have stubborn tendencies, so I wonder if I somehow discouraged them from fighting for our friendship due to their lowered perceptions of me.  A part of me really wants to fight for them despite what’s happening, but as time goes on I lose more and more energy to put into this unrequited effort.  I think I’ve reached the point now where I don’t want to try anymore and I should just cut my losses.

And so, those once great friendships have declined to acquaintance/casual friend levels.  I really hope I’m wrong and that somehow those friendships can be strengthen again.  Otherwise, I’m forced to make do with these weakened relationships.  I suppose it’s better than nothing, but it saddens me that it had to go down this path.

 

*Special mentions to @TheTheologiansCafe and @Suuperstar for inspiring me to write this down after I read their respective posts (“Dan on Friendship” and “Worth fighting for“).  They are both good reads, so check them out if you haven’t already.