Month: May 2010

  • To Follow My Head, or My Heart?

    I’ve been thinking a lot about this coming week for the past few days.  It’s going to be a big one because this will be the week I hear back from two jobs I applied for.  Long story short, I feel like I have a very strong chance of getting offers from both places.  Here’s where my dilemma appears.  If luck would have it and I get both offers, which one should I pick?

    Before I get into more details about each place, let me give you some background.  Coming out of undergraduate, I was planning on working for Organization #1.  I applied four times for this organization and I proceeded to get rejected four times.  I probably should have given up, but I really wanted to work there because the work was very much in line with my interests.  I came close each time, getting down to the final two candidates, but unfortunately I lost out each time to an older, more experienced person.

    Anyway, after a while I went to plan B and decided to get my masters in order to have better job opportunities in my field.  So far, I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve been studying.  It may not be what I thought I was going to do before, but it’s a good reasonable alternative.  If everything goes as planned, I will be finished with my masters after one more year.

    Having said all that, here’s where I am now.  Getting the opportunity to work at either organization would be a huge step up from my current situation, no question.  I don’t think either organization is a bad choice as they both would make me happy, but each one will take me down a completely different path.  Let me to share with you some facts about each place and maybe you can help me finally make a choice.

    (I’m not going to go into too much specifics as to what type of job I’ll be doing in each organization.  However, if you really want to know it’s actually not too hard to figure out.)

    Organization #1:
    *Been chasing after this organization for the past couple of years.  After all this time, I finally have this rare opportunity to get my foot in.
    *Technically part time (around 30 hours) for now, but will eventually become full time.
    *Will be easier to juggle work and school due to a flexible work schedule.
    *Will require me to work a secondary job, which will pay separately from my salary.
    *Overall, the pay will be significantly less than Organization #2.
    *Mostly work at home, which eliminates commutes.
    *When I do have to travel out of my home office, my gas and food will be paid for by the organization.
    *Will be responsible for a lot of important programs and projects.  If successful, I could be well known in the community I’m serving, as well as within the organization itself.
    *Doesn’t really utilize my masters.
    *The “passion” choice.

    Organization #2:
    *The position would be a good stepping stone into future jobs within the field I’m currently studying.
    *Will give me a new experience that I lack on my resume.
    *Will be working more than full time (45 hours/week).
    *Will be harder to juggle work and school because of the long work schedule.
    *Overall, pay will be significantly greater than Organization #1.
    *Work at the main office, which is in downtown.  Commutes, therefore, will be very long.
    *I have a classmate that works here, so she can help me out, get lunch with me, carpool with me, etc.
    *Entry level job, which mean I will be working hard for others and will not be in charge of projects.
    *The “smart” choice.

    As you can see, both places have their advantages and disadvantages.  If I do indeed get both offers I have a tough decision to make.  Of course, if I only get one of the offers my decision is already made for me.  If I don’t get either offer…well, you’ll soon find out who’s that sobbing guy lying on the street is (hint: me).

    Two roads possibly diverge before me.  Which way to go?

  • The Many Animated Versions of Me

    I just read a post from oxyGENE_08 and a pulse by methodElevated that got me thinking about all the times people have made me as a drawing.  Curious, I look through some of my old pictures and found the following variations of me as a 2D guy.

     

    For my 8th or 9th birthday, my uncle made me this big birthday card with the above drawings on the inside.  He decided to add in a bunch of characters I was quite aware of as a young boy.  Do you recognize them all?  Despite my face being all kinds of pasty, I really loved this card as a kid.  Still do.

    I was co-vice president of the Chinese Student Association in college.  During one meeting, the president and vice presidents decided to draw ourselves on the board (I’m the one on the far left).  By the end of the meeting, somebody went ahead and added some um, extra details to my drawing.  I get the porcupine reference, but why the pig tail and belly button??  Hmm, come to think about it I look like a naked lunatic.  Aiya!

    Alright, these two pictures above weren’t exactly drawings of me, but were pictures I found from a couple of Secret Asian Man comics.  When I first saw these background characters in a random strip, I immediately thought “Whoa, that’s me!”  You see the resemblance too, yes?  I think so, minus the whole missing nose part.

    This was drawn by a charicature artist at a college festival in 2006.  He asked me what was something I liked, and with that information alone he create this.  If nothing else, he really captured that big old head of mine. 

    Recently, snapeful made these sketches of me.  While I appreciate her doing that, I have to say she might have exaggerated my coolness just a tad.  Trust me, I’m pretty sure I’m not as vain as these pictures make me look haha.  I also don’t think I’ve ever posed like that either.  Why snapeful, why??

    Finally, here’s a graphic of me created by methodElevated (which also happens to be making a cameo on the cover of The Xangans).  She based this shot off of this picture, but instead of woodblocks I’m holding a sandwich.  Besides looking like I haven’t eatten anything in a while, I thought it was nicely made.  Too bad there was no roast beef in the sandwich!  Would have been very fitting, given my nickname. 

    I have a hard time picking out my favorite drawing because they all have their merits.  Which one stuck out for you?

  • This is for you, Kontzicles!

    Guess what today, May 21st, marks? 

    Yes, it’s Kontzicles’ birthday! *Do a little dance*

    As a fellow Maryland Xangan and someone I’ve gotten to know better this past year I felt she deserved to get a post dedicated all to her.  If you don’t know her yet, you should!  I think once you do you’ll find she’s quite a witty, attractive person.

    Amanda, please enjoy reading some words from your fellow friends here on Xanga.  Special thanks to Da__Vinci for contacting most of the people here to do this for her.

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    Levanna:

    Darlingest Shnookums. 



    You are so sweet to me. You make me laugh, you shoot it straight, and craziest of all, you’re there at 2am for me, when I know for you, it’s 5am.

    

Thank you for talking me through the rough patch back in October. Thanks for the lovely texts that make me smile. 



    The thing that gets me about you – that makes me admire you so – is that you’re brutally honest. You could have spared my feelings a few times, but you came from a place of love even though the truth was tough. You are so fit to be a momma. You are ready, despite what the critics may say. I am grateful and honored that I can count you among my friends.

    

Cataclysms have nothing on us. 


    Love.
    
M

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    armnatmom:

    I enjoy having something to celebrate, regardless of whether or not I know the individual. I think the month of May is considered to be ‘New Beginnings’…. full of brightness, loveliness and sunshine. Its nature at its best as life starts to evolve after a long, cold and sometimes harsh winter.

    

The brief visit I had with you on your site brought a smile to my face. How appropriate it was for me to read something as refreshing and joyful through your written words. I, a complete stranger amongst a crowd of several hundred, truly thank you for the joy you have passed along here in this Community.

    Happy Birthday!! And may your life continue to prosper and be blessed with love and new friendships!

    ARMNATMOM

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    elelkewljay:

    Amanda, 



    I’m so happy that I returned to Xanga. I have been fortunate to build extended friendships with people like you. Also, you’ve always given me unconditional support from afar and for that I am eternally grateful. Whether it be through postal, phone, email, or other means on the internets, you cheered me up and made my day countless times. You have a wonderful heart and mind, you’re an extraordinary mom, caring sister, and you’re a terrific friend. Happy birthday to you. 



    <3 Thu

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    TheBigShowAtUD:

    Dear Kontzy, 



    Thanks for your ability to be honest and clear when advising a guy to get his act together. You’re a real pal, Friend. ‘Twas appreciated. Have fun getting older and stuff; it’s a real good time.

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    Escaping_Logic
    :

    Popsicles…..or Kontzicles…..the Kontz as always….you have your own flavor! 

    Happy birthday dearest….

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    ShatterFocus:

    I’ll let you in on a little secret. Mandi and I never got along as kids. Ever. Granted, there’s a large age gap. However, as she went off to college, we became casual, arms-length friends. Years passed and we grew closer. Now she’s my closest friend, confidant and advisor. Yes, you heard me right. Not only is she beautiful, intelligent and witty, but she’s also loving, caring and has the most empathetic nature of almost anyone that I know. Whether it’s staying up late to watch old movies with beautiful actresses in them, Glee or (cringe) Archer; or just sitting around, playing with her monster and discussing life and things that are probably far too deep to be discussed that early in the morning, I couldn’t live without her.

    I love you, Mandi. Thanks for being you…I really don’t think I could deal with anyone else, and (to be honest) I’m not always sure how you put up with me. But you do. Thanks for being the best big sister and friend that a girl could ask for!

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    VaneDave:

    Happy Birthday to the woman who is as beautiful as she is a sarcastic pain in the ass. In all seriousness, have a great birthday Amanda. You are one of the best things about this place.

    Love,
    Dave (the black one)

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    Haloed:

    Dear Amanda,

    I don’t know you that particularly well, but I have always been more than delighted to read your posts.  You and I have always gotten along marvelously, and I think you’re quite the gal, truly!! Happy Birthday to you.  Your daughter is gorgeous, and you look fabulous as always.  Keep being yourself and writing your honest, hilarious post  :)

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    MyxlDove:

    http://myxldove.xanga.com/727458069/amandas-story-a-birthday-tribute/

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    Oh, I guess I should probably say something to you, huh?  Alright, how should start?  Hmm…

    Dear Amanda,

    ….

    ……..

    You know what?  Forget this!  Allow me to express my wishes to you through a video instead!  There’s a special guest too, someone you probably know quite well:

    Hope you enjoyed all this Amanda!  You’re one special gal.  Have wonderful birthday and a wonderful year to come!

  • Just Some Thoughts I Have on Love

    I don’t know why, but lately I’ve found myself pondering a lot about love.  My viewpoint on love has changed drastically over my lifetime and I’m sure my viewpoint will continue to evolve as I go through new experiences.  I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I believe, but based on my experiences thus far this is where I currently stand on the topic.

    There are multiple “one”s out there.  I never bought the idea that there was only one soulmate for everyone.  Instead, I believe there are many potential soulmates out in the world.  It really depends on timing and happenstance as to who you eventually end up with.

    You don’t have too much control over feelings, but you can control actions.  I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to feel an attraction to someone that you probably shouldn’t be feeling.  It’s what you do about those feelings that matter.  Your actions are within reasonable control.  Be smart about it, and you’ll go a long way.

    Being friends after the end of a serious relationship is possible, but not right away.  There needs to be a considerable amount of time (at least a few months) of isolation away from the other person before you can even consider being friends again.  It’s tough, but necessary if you want to be completely over those lingering feelings.

    There is such thing as lust at first sight, but not love at first sight.  Remember that and you just might avoid a few unnecessary heartbreaks.

    You should find yourself before finding someone new.  Being single has it’s ups and downs, but one big positive thing is that it gives you the opportunity to figure out who you really are.  It’s a wonderful feeling knowing how to be happy without depending on someone else to provide that happiness.  Once you can do that, you are truly ready to find someone new who you can share happiness together.

    Love is not enough to sustain a serious relationship.  Ah, if only life was like the movies.  In order for a relationship to succeed, it takes love plus hard work, among other random factors.  Be prepare for a lot of give and take.

    Saying “I love you” is one of the toughest things to do.  So far in my life, I’ve said that phrase and meant it to only one person.  Maybe it’s just me, but I put a lot of value in those words.  If I say it, I better frickin’ believe it. 

    I am no longer afraid of commitment.  That was a flaw of mine many years back.  Not anymore.  If I find someone now who I truly care about, I’m not going to be thinking those “what if” thoughts where I imagine someone better out there.  If I do, I will question whether I’m really worthy to be in a relationship.  It’s not fair to the other person and I won’t allow myself to do that again.

    I don’t think I’ll ever completely understand love, but that’s alright with me.  However, I will continue to learn as much as I can.  Hopefully, that will be enough for the girl in my future, whoever you are.

  • Xangans Supporting One Another (Literally)

    This post is a spiritual sequel to another post I made a while back titled “My Xangan Picture Collaboration Project”.  Like that post, I asked several Xangans to send me a picture of themselves doing a certain pose which I would later put together to give the illusion of interaction across different space.  This time around, it’s not just two people interacting with one other at a time.  Everybody’s in on it!  

    How many Xangans do you think I can “support”? 

    *Note:  For the best effect, go all the way down to the end of this post and scroll up.  Also, ignore the little spacing separating the pictures.  For some reason I couldn’t get rid of it, but you get the idea.  Click on the picture if you want to visit the person’s page.*

    Alright!  Lets check out this balancing act, shall we?


            
             
         
               
                



           
        



                  

        
      



    Whew, what a load!  Which poses did you like?

    You know, after putting all those pictures together I noticed something.  In a way, the above can be seen as a metaphor for something that a lot of us do here; we support one another through good and bad times.  We sometimes forget that many people are on here writing because this is a wonderful place to express thoughts and worries that we can have trouble expressing in real life.  Often times, others will come across your writing and provide supportive feedback because they can relate and want to help out.

    This can slip the minds of people, and it’s understandable.  It is unfortunate that negativity travels around fast, so it seems like it’s everywhere when it’s actually not.  When you really think about it, it really only represent a small (although loud) percentage of everyone here.  There’s decent folks around, and I’m glad to be friends with a lot of them.  Look at this place a bit closer.  Don’t be surprise if those type of people start popping up more often than you originally thought.

    P.S. On a random note, I totally forgot my Xangaversary was four days ago!  I have now been on here for 7 years and counting =D

  • What’s in a Nickname?

    I’ve never been a big fan of calling people by names other than their given one.  Short hands, like Liz or Kim, are okay, but using a hypocorism doesn’t feel natural to me.  (In case you’re wondering, hypocorism means a name of endearment or a pet name.  I’ll admit it, I totally just discovered this word today =P)

    There are some exceptions of course (Flip comes to mind), but I generally prefer to call people by their actual name.  Whenever I’ve tried to use nicknames in the past, such as calling my past girlfriends “baby” or “honey”, it just felt forced and awkward.  For me, their names alone is wonderful enough to say, so what’s the point of using any other term that doesn’t quite live up to the original?

    I have received my fair share of nicknames too, most given by girls interesting enough.  For the most part I don’t mind others referring to me by nicknames, although certain ones are definitely more flattering and preferable than others.  Here are a few that I’ve remembered over the years, including my most recent one:

    Nickname:  “Mister Chan”
    Given by:  A couple of my best friends
    One day, my friends just randomly started greeting me in the same way Agent Smith would greet Neo from The Matrix.  Yes, they would even draw the name out each time in the same way as it’s said at :20 here.  Not the most original nickname, but at least it was a masculine sounding one unlike the next few examples.

    Nickname: “Chang-Chang-Chang Shebop”
    Given by: Teammate on my high school tennis team
    I don’t even remember how this got started, but I do know that by the end of the season she created a whole song from this name which the team would sing along to embarrass me.  The song was very strange too.  I forgot most of the lyrics, but I do remember rabbits and chocolate being involved.  Glad this one went away after she graduated!  Definitely not the most intimidating thing for an opponent of mine to hear.

    Nickname:  “Fortune Cookie”
    Given by:  Foreign exchange student
    I could be wrong, but I have a strong feeling this name had something to do with my race.  Just a hunch.  This Brazilian foreign exchange student I once knew would speak to me in such a way as a mother would speak to her baby.  “How’s my lucky fortune cookie today?” was a common thing for her to say.  I didn’t really mind her calling me that, although I’m thankful this one didn’t catch on with anyone else. 

    Nickname:  “Alecito”
    Given by:  Past girlfriend
    A cutesy pet name she called me, which some of her friends later adopted.  At first I thought it had a nice ring to it, thinking it made me sound a bit suave.  That is, until I found out later that it pretty much means “little Alex” -__-

    Nickname:  “Bunny”
    Given by:  shatterFocus
    Inside joke we have.  She got it from the movie Shanghai Kiss, which I recommended for her one time.  The girl in that movie reminded me of her for some reason. 

    Nickname:  “RLT”
    Given by:  Xangans (Who was it that first started saying this?)
    Finally, a nickname that isn’t blatantly non-masculine!  It seems people started calling me by this acronym because it’s much simpler to write and say.  You know what’s funny?  Everytime I see/hear this nickname I automatically think Roast beef, Lettuce, and Tomato instead of my username, which in turn makes me hungry.  Hmm, be right back. *om nom nom*

    Which one did you like the most?  If you didn’t like any, that’s okay.  I’m perfectly fine being referred to as good old Alex