I sometimes wonder what goes on in my grandma’s mind when it comes to food.  Based on my time with her, these are some of my theories as to what she’s thinking.

I do not know what to do if I get hungry.
If she doesn’t mention food, I will forget to eat.  In fact, she has to remind me every hour (every half hour as meal time draws near) just in case.  Even though I’ve been alive for 24 years and counting, I will never outgrow this sad inability to detect hunger within myself.  Heaven forbid I venture out into the outside world for longer than five hours!  By the time I arrive home, I must be famish.  There’s no way I would have consider taking care of my hunger problem without her ever present reminders.

Any food that is not Asian is bad. 
It doesn’t matter if it looks healthy or tasty.  If it’s not Asian, it is disgusting.  The offended, dirty face she makes, along with the Marge-like grunt that soon follows, signals this opinion every time I come home with take out or whenever I make something “American” like a sandwich.

Temperature is beyond my understanding.
You see, if I don’t immediately eat food that was literally just made on a hot stove, it will get cold.  No, like REALLY cold.  It’s one of the worse things that can happen and because of that fact she needs to remind me to eat every minute past the time I was suppose to have started eating.  If I wait too long, my food will freeze over.  The fact that we own a microwave is irrelevant.

I do not possess the basic skills to cook for myself.
If I ever try to make anything on my own, such as something as difficult as eggs (), she has to micromanage what I’m doing so I can get through it.  It doesn’t matter that I’ve cooked for myself numerous times before.  She WILL repeat every step in the cooking process, and there’s not a single thing I could say to stop it.  For her, there’s always that chance I will forget something and when I do, she will be there to cue me to turn off the stove when I’m done. 
   
Chinese soup cures absolutely everything.
Coughing?  Drink her soup.  Having trouble sleeping?  Drink her soup.  Have the flu?  Drink her soup.  Got allergies?  Drink her soup.  Your arm is sore?  Drink her soup.  Infected with a flesh eating virus?  Drink two bowls of her soup.

There are so much more I could discuss (i.e. rice being a requirement at every meal, steak must be cooked extremely well done and with corn on the side each time, heating up all the leftovers even if only a small portion will be eaten), but for the sake of time I’ll digress.  I understand she does all this out of love, but there are days when I feel I’m just one reminder away from going bonkers.

Now will you excuse me, my grandma is calling.

After numerous requests, I finally decided to make a formspring account.  As I’m typing “Roadlesstaken” for my username, I was a little surprised to see it has already been taken.  Curious, I search this user up and this was what I found:

Oh hi there, it’s me!  Wait a minute…

At first, I was a little confused.  “Did I make an account a while back and just forgot I did?” I thought.  As it turned out, my memory was not that bad.  I scroll down to see if anyone has asked “me” questions and if “I” responded.

Some of this look familiar…

Apparently, “I” did respond to some questions sent to “me”.  “I” must have not been very creative when “I” was answering them because “I” sure did enjoy reusing lines I’ve previously written (example: “…been with this girl (who would eventually be my longest and most valued relationship to date) for almost six months.  In fact, our six months anniversary was February 20th, six days after Valentine’s Day.” is from this post.)

Not too shabby actually.  This person was doing a pretty good job, until I saw when this person said my birthday was.  My birthday is March 1st, not April 1st!  Ahh, so close.  Now that I think about it, I wonder if maybe this was an April Fools joke that I missed.

So, this is what being impersonated feels like.  I guess I’m flattered?  Honestly, I’m more amused than anything else, especially after reading what “I” was telling this girl on there:

At least my impersonator sounds really sweet.

For those that are interested in my real formspring account, here it is. 

Be nice yall.  If you do, I will give my heart to you if only you were near me =P

Update! (04/22/10)
Okay, the party that was involved in all this told me who they were and explained it to me, so my confusion is all cleared up now.  I suppose no harm no foul.

It’s Joanna_said_SO‘s birthday today!  After what she did for my birthday I most certainly had to do something for her, but what?  I was having a hard time thinking of something for the longest time, but eventually I ended up deciding on doing a video shout out to her.

Well, I didn’t realize just how ridiculous it would turn out until after I finished it.  “Did I really just make this?” I thought.  I debated whether I should even post this up, but what the hell.  This is for her, after all, so I think it’s worth looking like a fool for a minute if she enjoys it.  I hope you get a smile out of this Joey!  Thank goodness you told me you like dogs:

…Sorry to everyone else that had to watch that.

Oh, and in before WTF??

The past few days I had to make seven short skits to be used during a class presentation this coming Monday.  We are presenting on the business culture of NBC, which is actually pretty dry when we read it through.  So, I figured I would make some videos (with some help from my team and my little brother) to make our presentation more engaging.  In each of the short skits, there are references to popular NBC shows and the idea is for the class to guess which shows we were referring to.  The people that get the most right would win a prize! 

Just for fun, I figured why not post the videos on here for you to check out.  Besides maybe one or two, I think they’re overall pretty easy to figure out.  I tried to make it as obvious as I can since I knew not everyone watches as much television as I do.  I don’t think they’re my most amazing videos, but they’re good enough to serve their purposes (I hope).

Can you guess all seven NBC shows I’m referring to in the videos below?

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

If you guess all seven correctly (without cheating) you get, um, some brownie points from me.  Don’t spend them all in one place!

While trying to find an old text message from a friend recently, I stumbled upon my mom’s first (and only *cross fingers*) text she has ever sent me.  My parents are not cell phone savvy at all, so the fact she even figured out how to send it still surprises me upon recollection.

It happened during my trip to New York this past winter break.  I had gone up with a couple of old friends and I definitely told her that.  I’ve gone on further trips than New York recently, so for her to send me this worrying text during this trip seemed a bit confusing.  How come she didn’t send one to me when I went up to New York by myself last year?  Nonetheless, below was the very urgent message she wanted to relay to me that evening:

What the..??  Oh, you bet my friends sure had a good laugh after seeing that.  I think my mom and I should just stick with regular phone calls from now on.  Let this text message be the last one she’ll ever send me!  Please?

…hmm, just had a scarier thought; what if my grandma ever figures out how to text me??  *Shudders*

P.S. If you were wondering, “I C E” stands for “In Case of Emergency”.  My mom is not Iceman’s mother.  Sorry to disappoint.

Snapeful and Secade!  Last Thursday, they both stopped by in Maryland to hang out before they went off to their other destinations, respectively.  I’ve been meaning to write this up all week, but I’ve been very busy working on two big group projects for grad school (urgh).  Oh well, better late than never!

Secade came from Ohio on a bus and Snapeful came from San Diego on a plane.  We hung out for the next few days near my area and later in DC, where we visited the Smithsonian, watch a lot of kites on the mall, and checked out the cherry blossom opening ceremony.  Both of them are um, quite interesting characters, especially when they’re together (as you’ll see below).  It was great hanging out with them and I hope I’ll see them again in the very near future.

Secade took a bunch of random video clips during the trip using my Flip cam.  Below is a video containing bits and pieces of all he recorded.  Just a note: there’s a lot of language and innuendos in this video, so if you’re a bit sensitive to that kind of stuff I wouldn’t recommend clicking.  Oh, there’s also a pretty embarrassing dance he made me do at the end of the video, so if you’re sensitive to seeing bad dancing I wouldn’t recommend clicking either =P.  Otherwise, enjoy:

Looks like all good things have to come to an end.  Sorry!  It is fitting that this final XangaSecret video contains the most revealing secrets I’ve ever received from Xangans.  Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like it’s also a bit easier to guess who gave each secret this time.  You’ll be the judge:

RE: I’m in a polygamous relationship with Kontzicles, i_Nutrition, and Rob_of_the_Sky.  None of them know about each other.

“Well, that explains the pink thong on the ground from the other night.” -i_Nutrition

“But I thought I was your one and only!  =( By the way, I think I left something over at your place the other day…” -Rob_of_the_sky

“Gasp!  My sister?!  You should have picked me!  I’m the hotter one!!” -shatterFocus

RE: The “XL” in my username totally stands for what you think it does.  Hello ladies!

“You know, I think we should get to know each other a little better…” -TheMarriedFreshman

“Oh hi, I don’t think I’ve formally introduced myself.  You’ll be hearing a lot more from me very soon ” -And_I_love

“I don’t quite understand what you’re hinting at, but I want in!” -maniacsicko

RE: Poetry is such a bore.  Good thing there’s no talented poets on Xanga anyway.

“I know right?  Only losers would read or write poetry nowadays.” -JustPlainMorgie

RE: I don’t have a funny bone in my body.  I just don’t get jokes at all.  Someday, I’ll hopefully develop some sense of humor.

“Indeed.  If only you weren’t sooooo boring and uninteresting.” -Alterego909
   
“You are definitely far too serious.  Lighten up pal!” -saintvi

RE: I have made a sex tape.  With another Xangan.  Actually, multiple Xangans.  Come to think about it, they’re all women.
   
“Where do I sign up baby?” -snapeful

“Not fair, I want to join in on the fun!  Talk to me later please.” -lil_squirrel4ever
   
“Where can I buy a copy?’ -MySecretLoveAffair
   
“I don’t mind participating, as long as there’s AT LEAST five girls.” -hodtos

RE: TheTheologiansCafe is my father. He doesn’t mention it to people because he’s embarrassed of my job.  Long story short, I moonlight as a cheap street walker.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about honey!  My time as a prostitute were the best years of my life.” -Manstration

RE: I might have “borrowed”  a certain Xangan’s boxers for a souvenir while he was in California.  It’s hanging on my wall right now.

“You weren’t the only one who did that.  Giggity.” -FlipGuy31O

“How much would you want for that?  I’ll pay top dollar.  TOP DOLLAR!!” -Whoosh90

RE: My biggest problem is that I <3 everyone too much.

“Join the club.” -Trunthepaige

RE: I’ve never cooked a day in my life.  All the food pictures on my page were made by osmundaregalis.  I am such a fraud.

“Actually, I’ve never cooked a day in my life as well.  I’ve just been stealing pictures from Joanna_said_SO.  Frauds FTW!” -osmundaregalis

RE: I think I’m the prettiest boy on Xanga.  I dare anybody to challenge me.

“Oh, I beg to differ.” -NikBv

“Challenge accepted.  Lets do this!  No one can resist my lovely eyes.” -GreekPhysique

“Nah uh sugarpie!  I’m definitely cuter!” -edlives

RE: Many times I have dreamt of throwing Roadlesstaken down a rocky cliff.  Perhaps one day we will meet so that fantasy can become a reality.  Mwahahahaha!

“Oh you better not!  I already have plans to push him off a mountain!  Don’t you ruin my chances!” -beetunes
   
“I had my chances and blew it each time.  I regret it everyday.” -TheCheshireGrins

***********************************************************************************

In case you didn’t notice, this is an April Fools version of XangaSecret.    Thanks to everyone that helped me out on this one!

Is this the last XangaSecret video?  Nah, I don’t think so.  However, it will probably be a while for the next volume to come up. 

I can’t believe it’s been 10 volumes already.  I still have A LOT of secrets that I could still use for future videos.  You’re welcome to turn in some more anonymous secrets to me whenever you want.  For more information on how to submit a secret and how this all works, check out some of the previous XangaSecret posts:

What’s Your XangaSecret?
XangaSecret: Volume I and Volume II
XangaSecret: Volume III and Volume IV
XangaSecret: Volume V and Volume VI
XangaSecret: Volume VII
XangaSecret: Volume VIII (Love and Heartache Edition)
XangaSecret: Volume IX

PostSecret: The original secrets website and the inspiration for this current project