It was so beautiful outside this past weekend.  My little brother and I decided to take advantage of the good weather by playing tennis at the local courts.  Not sure about him, but I was looking forward to this since we haven’t play tennis with each other in a while.  While we were rallying around, having a pleasant time, I noticed a car with its windows down drive by our court.  There had been other cars driving by, but this one was about to stand out.  Within the time it took for the car to drive by, the person in the passenger seat had the audacity to scream out “TENNIS SUCKS YOU MOTHERF**KERS!!!  F**K YOU!!  YOU SUCK!!!!!! HAHAHAHA….!!!!”

So many thoughts ran through my head the moment after this happened.  It was as if the rational side of me stepped down while the protective side came in.  Seriously??  How DARE this jerk try to put us down and make us feel bad for doing something we enjoy?  How DARE he blatantly judge someone he doesn’t even know?  Say all that to me, but to yell that out at my little brother too?  What if there were families here?  He’s lucky I didn’t beam a ball at his car!  Hmm, maybe it’s not too late to track that immature bastard down… 

Good thing those emotional impulses left my head almost as soon as they came in.  I snapped out of it and checked to see if those stranger’s words affected my brother.  Unfortunately, his mood did change.  We rallied in silence for a few minutes.  From an outsider’s point of view it probably looked like we were just extremely focused, but we both knew otherwise.  Finally, as we went to pick up our balls, my brother broke the silence. 

“Wow, what was that?  That was weird…” he started off.  Before he could comment any further, I immediately said, “Yeah, just forget about it.  It doesn’t even matter.”

“Didn’t that make you mad?” he further asked me. 

Before I replied, I had to think about his question for a bit.  When I was done, I answered, “Look, that was just some random guy who doesn’t even know us, so he obviously isn’t in any position to really judge what we do or who we are.  If you think about it, what he did was a shameless, cowardly, and ignorant act that speaks more about him than us.  Did it make me mad?  Yeah it did, but only for a brief moment.  Once you realize how little value his words really has, it becomes easier not to take what he said to heart.  We know what’s true much better than he does, so lets just continue on.  Alright, ready to practice serves?”

My brother, seemingly satisfied with my reply, nodded and went over to the other side of the net.  We proceeded to enjoy the rest of our tennis time, putting that awkward incident behind us.  At least for that day, we weren’t going to let some random stranger’s malicious comments bring us down. 

I’m pretty sure that won’t be the last time either one of us will receive an undeserved cheap shot from someone.  Insults can hurt, but they will only hurt as much as we allow them to.  As long as we remember this, we’ll hopefully be prepare to handle any future incidents that come our way.

About six months ago, one of my co-workers left me a letter.  Confused on what it was about, I open it up only to read that she will be quitting because of me.  She thought I was an unfair and irresponsible person due to three major reasons.  First, she was upset at me for calling her house when she was five minutes late to take over my shift.  She said she has never been late before and I shouldn’t have called her over something small as that.  Second, she was upset at me for having her come in to cover a shift for me one time.  I decided to come in anyway to do some work, so she said I could have worked that shift after all instead of having her do it.  Third, she was upset that I never worked night shifts whereas everyone else did at least one night shift a week.  According to her, that was unfair and I needed to work some night shifts as well.

This sure paints me as a horrible person, huh?  I think so.  Now, take a look at this situation from another perspective.

Before I start, I have to mention one crucial detail that wasn’t stated in the above paragraph.  I wasn’t just her co-worker; I was her manager. 

Her first issue dealt with me calling her because she was late for her shift, even though it was only five minutes.  The reason why I called was not because she made me wait five minutes (which is really no big problem) but because I thought something bad happened to her.  When she said she was never late that was true.  Her being late was very unusual, so I called her house just to make sure nothing happened like a car accident or illness.  Apparently, she took it differently.

Her second issue concerned a shift I gave her that I could have quite easily done.  Before this conflict, her and I used to talk a lot and she mentioned to me that she wouldn’t mind more hours to work so she can get more income.  I decided to have her cover a small shift of mine so she could get those paid hours since she wasn’t working much hours that week.  I came in anyway to do some side jobs, and because I gave her that shift I did all my errands off the clock.

Her final issue had to do with the perceived unfairness that I was making everyone else do night shifts while I did none.  Since everyone else is doing night shifts, which shifts were I doing?  I was doing the early morning shifts that no one else wanted to do.  Trust me, I would love not having to get up at 4:30 in the morning to open the club, but unfortunately not that many people are willing to get up that early.  Being the manager, the responsibility falls to me to take care of that unpopular shift.  Since I’m working at the butt crack of dawn, it would be rough to close at 10pm the night before and then go straight back to work the following morning.  Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about that seeing as my other co-workers preferred the night shifts anyway, so scheduling night shifts was hardly ever a problem.

Funny how context can totally change how you view something.  I’ve learned over the years that without considering other perspectives on a situation, it is very hard to get an accurate picture.

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As I mentioned last entry, I’ve been busy this past week traveling around some local states.  I finally met John (aka CEO of Xanga), which was really cool.  The group of us had a nice long discussion about a variety of topics ranging from tv shows to women.  Oh, in case you’re wondering yes, he looks almost exactly like his profile picture

I actually didn’t do much picture/video taking this time, so allow me to refer you to some other people’s entries on this trip.  They’re definitely all worth it to check out:

BigSarah did a quick vlog while we were in NY.  She pretty much asked us a bunch of questions, mainly who we thought was the hottest Xangan (Wuwu gets mentioned a lot haha).

retarded_beautiful did two entries from our time in DC.  The first part covers our visits to some Smithsonian museums as well as our visits to the Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial.  It also has some really hammy shots of me.  The second part contains some videos from the evening (TheCheshireGrins makes a guest appearance!).

Lastly, lCrAzYAzNl (our wonderful host and gutsy driver) did two entries from our time in NY.  Both entries contain tons of embarrassing food pictures of me -__- .  His first entry covers our first day there while his second entry covers days two and three.

I know a lot of you were thinking, “Gee willikers Alex, I sure wish your little brother could describe your family to us.  You know what would make it even better?  If he narrated it all in Spanish!  Make sure the accent is poor and the grammar is all over the place though.”  Well, I guess I can satisfy your wish:

In case you were wondering, this was a Spanish project I helped my brother do for his 1st year Spanish course.  Despite some goofs (especially the errors he made saying the ages…whoops, I should have reviewed his lines!), I think overall it went pretty well.  He better get a high grade because I spent a good amount of time editing that for him at the last minute (hence some hard cuts).  Make sure you don’t miss the very last scene in the video.  I still can’t believe my brother made my grandma do that.

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I’ll be away for the next 5 days because my friend from San Diego (the Xangan formally known as strawberries_and_honey) is visiting the East Coast.  By the end of all this we will have traveled through MD, DC, NY, and PA visiting a bunch of Xangans at those places.  There’s a chance we might even meet up with a very special guest in NY!  Don’t want to say who yet just in case it doesn’t work out, but I sure hope it does.  See you guys in a few days!

Can you believe that we’re at nine volumes now?  That’s pretty crazy!  I’m glad people are really enjoying these videos, although I have been wondering if I should end this series once it hits an even ten.  I guess we’ll have to to find out next time what I will decide on this matter.  Whatever the case may be, I am pretty positive I will do something special for the 10th volume of XangaSecret.  Stay tuned!

Until then, here’s XangaSecret: Volume IX.  I’m bringing back Matt‘s music for this one.  Just want to give you all a heads up that this volume is a bit darker than usual:

RE: I wish I could say I come to Xanga to get inspired, but I find very little here inspirational.

“Be the change you want to see.” -theacematt2

RE: The girl of my dreams doesn’t even look as good as HisKeiki. She is amazingly gorgeous.

“I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you personally! That’s so sweet and flattering. If I could hug you I would!!!” -HisKeiki

RE: I feel like killing myself so I won’t waste my parents’ money, I won’t be a burden to my friends and so my significant other can find someone he truly deserves. I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. I just haven’t gather up the courage…yet.

“Woah woah woah. Stop right there. You have parents, you have friends AND you have a SO. Why oh why would you want to kill yourself? You already have so much. I don’t mean to be blunt but you will ruin your parents, friends and SO’s life by killing yourself. I bet they don’t always show that they love you but they do, and you clearly love them too for the way you talk about them. Your loved ones are going to be spending the rest of their lives wondering where they went wrong with you, it’s a feeling that is beyond desribable. Please think twice about doing this, there are people out there who love you. If you ever want to talk, you know my username now ^^” -Pink_TeaCups

“Same same same same!  My friends think I’m weird for that, and it makes for awkward conversations….but I still can’t stop >.<” -noree_n

“I understand how you feel about this. I don’t have any real friends, either, because I’m just too introverted. I’m sure there are many people who just aren’t socially adept; it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you or that you don’t belong.” -wtf_turmoill

“I wonder what’s wrong with me all the time too, even now. I don’t feel belong anywhere. And when I try to fit in, all I get are rejections and piled up disappointments. I envy those who have friends who genuinely care about them, for I have none. Sometimes I think people wouldn’t even notice if I fall off Earth’s surface. Or even if they do, I presume nobody would give two hoots about it.” -missunderappreciated

RE: I haven’t spoken to my father in almost ten years. When people tell me I should make up with him before it’s too late, I say indifferently, he had his chance to be a father and he threw it away. This bothers other people more than it’s ever bothered me.

“I hadn’t spoken to mine in so many years I can’t count. I blamed him for us not talking, said he shouldn’t have walked away when I was younger, told myself that I’d never speak to him, that I hated him. He did in a car accident last month. I was wrong about all of that. I do care, you DO care & sometimes you just have to suck it up & reach out to people, be the better person, tell them you love them, tell them how they feel. That way, if something does happen, the guilt & regret isn’t all on you.” -nothing4ever66

“I had a teacher like that in high school. He redefined learning for me, and despite my dropping out with a drug & alcohol problem, continued to talk to me and teach me as a person, not a student number or just a name on his role sheet. He was, and is, a wealth of inspiration. We’ve stayed friends and go out to lunch once or twice a year (five years later). I think most teachers want to be influential in their students’ lives. Say something, no bad could come of it. ” -milfncookies

RE: To all those with suicide-related secrets.

“I’ve been there, it’s rough.  I do believe it gets better, though.  So press onward.  If you need to talk, I’ll be here to talk.  If you need resources, there are some i could recommend, some that helped me.  (For starters, I’d say check recoveryourlife.com)” -Galbsadi

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As usual, I will post up more of your replies to the current volume’s secrets as they come.  Feel free to leave some more anonymous secrets below.  There’s a good chance you’ll see them in a video in the near future!  For more information on how to submit a secret and how this all works, check out some of the previous XangaSecret posts:

What’s Your XangaSecret?
XangaSecret: Volume I and Volume II
XangaSecret: Volume III and Volume IV
XangaSecret: Volume V and Volume VI
XangaSecret: Volume VII
XangaSecret: Volume VIII (Love and Heartache Edition)

P.S. You will probably enjoy checking out PostSecret as well (the main inspiration for this video project).

First off, I want to apologize for being the reason for all the Roadlesstaken-related post spam (50+!!) all over the site.  I’m sure a lot of you were thinking “enough of this already!”  I will definitely be careful of what I wish for next time!

I was really only thinking a few of my closer friends I have on this site would do something for me.  At midnight, a bunch of them did just that and I was already blown away by the shout outs then.  I went to bed and worked the next morning.  When I came back on later, I was overwhelmed with how many people were still making posts for me throughout the whole day!  When I figured it would stop, even more came in!  Oh yeah, I certainly had a nice shade of red on my face all day.

To be honest, I was shocked about not only the quantity but the quality of many of the posts that were made.  I didn’t realize how much of an impact I made on people on here and how valued they saw me.  I even saw a few people mentioned how I was cool for a “xangalebrity”, something I never consider myself in the first place.  To me, that title gives some connotation that I’m somehow more important or above others on here, when really I’m just like you all.  I’m just another guy blogging about my life and enjoying making connections with wonderful people on this site.  I would say I’m a well-known blogger sure, but that’s it.  In the end, I’m pretty much doing the same thing as the next blogger.

So, what can I really say to express how I feel?  First off, just want to say an overall thank you again to anyone that wished me a happy birthday, whether it was through a comment, post, pulse, private message, text message, mail picture, audio, or video. 

Now, time for some special shout outs to those that really kicked it up a notch!

Thank you to YouTOme and elelkewljay for your lovely card and letter you sent me.  I was very excited to see them in the mail.

Thank you to Kontzicles and shatterFocus for your cards and gift cards!  Kontzicles actually stopped by my work yesterday to hand deliver them to me

Love it!

Thank you to christao408, ElusiveWords, TheCheshireGrins, maniacsicko, AzureRecollections, edlives, TLthunderlightTL, got_takoyaki, and ordinary_gir1 for writing above and beyond what you really needed to.  It was very interesting reading all of your extra thoughts about me and it makes me happy that I’ve been able to leave a good impact on all of you.  My smile was already big but was made even bigger while reading your words.

Thank you to HisKeiki, oxyGENE_08, jeannie_dot_com, theryecatcher, Queen_of_You188, eternal_relevance, retarded_beautiful and again AzureRecollections for the video shout outs.  HisKeiki, you did a very creative “silent” video that was just too cute.  oxyGENE_08, your video was the first one sent to me and I really enjoyed your video idea.  jeannie_dot_com, I thoroughly loved your heart to heart video.  theryecatcher, after hearing your awesome British accent I think you should make more videos!  Queen_of_You188, thank you for letting me hear what you sounded like for the first time.  eternal_relevance, thank you even though you couldn’t include the Canadian references you wanted haha.  retarded_beautiful, I can’t believe you stuffed all of that in your mouth!  Finally AzureRecollections, you’re a good guy and hopefully we can meet up one of these days.

Thank you to shillykins, drugsy, whoosh90, and B2yan_C for your singing videos!  I especially enjoyed the extra touches you made to the songs for me.

Thank you to sumoneoverthere, skylar_rose, Bodhiseeker, and indiechaos for taking the time out to write your extra thoughtful private messages to me.

Thank you to draculvanhelsing for Kristin Kreuk.  Enough said.

Thank you to emily_shannon for the lone audio only shout out!

Thank you to Arenadi for making the absolute best meal I would ever want to eat.  Now, if only I could somehow get that transported over here…

Thank you to Joanna_said_SO for making a cake shout out!  Wow!  I think I know what the main ingredients of that cake was: awesome ^_^

Thank you to snapeful for drawing a picture of me!  Sure, I look like a cross between a DBZ character and Edward Cullen, but I suppose that’s okay =P

Thank you to justplainmorgie for writing the best poem you’ve ever made!

Last but not least, thank you to shatterFocus for getting all those Xangans together for one post for me.  You did really good.  I will make sure to personally talk to each one of those that contributed a message for me.

Oh, as far as the picture shout outs I originally requested?  Yeah, I can never complain about not having one ever again:

My XZ friends wishing me a “Hpy Birt Dy” haha

I’ll end this post with a quick video, for all of you:

Er, please don’t mind the ugly faces I’m making in the video’s preview.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!  You all sure know how to make a guy feel special.