September 27, 2005

• heh this is pretty funny (from collegehumor.com)

  I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
  
  
  
  much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
  
  
  
  never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
  
  

  
  
  
  FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
  
  
  
  bed.
  
  

  
  
  
  Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel
  
  
  
  like it, I just want you to hold me.”
  
  

  
  
  
  I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”
  
  

  
  
  
  So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
  
  
  
  “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
  
  
  
  to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look
  
  
  
  by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
  
  
  
  the bedroom?”
  
  

  
  
  
  Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
  
  

  
  
  
  The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
  
  
  
  her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
  
  
  
  unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
  
  
  
  several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
  
  
  
  take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
  
  
  
  compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
  
  
  
  went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
  
  
  
  earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was
  
  
  
  one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
  
  
  
  she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
  
  
  
  tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
  
  
  
  She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
  
  
  
  Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
  
  
  
  dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
  
  

  
  
  
  I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
  
  
  
  like it.”
  
  

  
  
  
  Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
  
  
  
  WHAT?”
  
  

  
  
  
  I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re
  
  
  
  just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
  
  
  
  your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
  
  
  
  was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and
  
  
  
  not for the things I buy you?”
  
  

  
  
  
  Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
  
  
  
  O btw I’m in the Retriever’s Weekly.  See if you can find me

  • 3:53 pm
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