im not good for her right now…

man, all this reading really hurts my neck…gosh i got a big head haha.  at least im getting a lot done…

I love: her so much
I hate:  it when she is so sad when she shouldn’t be…
I cry: for her pain
I fear: the day I am useless
I hope: for everything to work out…even tho I know they always do…
I sadden: too easily over her…
I feel alone: when she is not like herself
I kill: to solve everything
I talk: too much apparently
I listen: so i can understand…

I break: when everything I do fails…
I see: so much…
I smell: nothing
I taste: 7-up              
I remember: my past…
I hold: a lot of frustrations
I hide: nothing…             
I walk: not often enough also
I drive: my mom’s bmw
I read: too much crap
I burn: with so many feelings, good and bad…mostly good…                        
I breathe: air..?
I miss: her happiness already
I feel: frustrated at her and myself
I want: her to have a more positive view of life…
I wish: so many good things for her…
I know: more then you know
I said:  some things that I dont mean                          
I dream: a lot
I have: a good life right now
I fall: when I fail…but I get up…
I wait:  ….
I need: understanding
I live: because I choose to live my life the happiest it can be…

i want…what i have.

……..5 months….yay!

Today i spent ALL DAY at samara’s…so great.  Im so happy…merry christmas yall

Today made up for yesterday’s absent..Christmas!  hope she likes the present…

…you know what, i am as good as i believe i am.  I know im not perfect but…i am a good person…

i guess im not so great after all…

never again….gosh, i shoulda known better…gotta follow my mind from now on…