January 10, 2011
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Thinking of You, Old Friends
Looking through my past photo albums have reminded me of something; I have, in fact, been a very lucky guy. I’ve been fortunate to have encountered so many good people that have given me such a positive, hopeful outlook on my life. I know not everybody has the opportunities to experience all the lasting memories I now have thanks to bonds and friendships I’ve developed over the years. Reminiscing on those good times really made me smile, so I continued on browsing.
However, as I continued to look at my pictures a wave of sadness came upon me. While I saw a lot of my friends that I still talk to and hang out with to this day, I began seeing more and more faces of people I have not talk to or seen in a long time. With every picture, a memory flashed before my eyes of a time when we were much closer. Soon, all these memories started blurring together inside my head to the point where I was unable to focus on any one given memory.
It is then that I realized the reason for that sadness was because I felt like I had let certain friends (and myself) down. These people were once people I could confide in, but now they are maybe strangers at best. Sure, I understand life can be like that. Everybody is on different paths now and it’s easy to get caught off guard by how fast time moves. Before we know what happened, the bonds we once had with one another have all but dissipated. In hindsight, I really wish I could have prevented that from happening. I wish I could have realized we had drifted apart before it was too late.Being the optimist I am, I like to think that in the near future there will come a time when I can re-activate those bonds I once had with some of my old friends and we can go back to the way we were, good as new. Sadly, I know in reality this probably will not be the likely scenario. If that is indeed the case, all I can do now is just cherish the memories and the time we did have together.
I will remember you all, old friends. Even though I’m not a part of your life anymore, I hope life is treating you as good as you have treated me in our shared past. I won’t forget how you have impacted me for the better.
Comments (92)
It’s called growing up…you’ll always have the memories!
We pass through life meeting many people who touch our hearts! Unfortunately we lose touch with some but even in that short amount of time you hope that you affect them in some kind of positive way!
:/
This is such a nice tribute to them old friends and I can’t help but agree with it. From past experiences though, I learned that whether or not I notice the fact that a friend of mine is being distant won’t change the outcome. Just got to accept it and move on. Random note: When I first saw the second picture I just kept on scrolling up and down thinking something was wrong with the page or something. xD
Sometimes it is hard to remember that some people in our lives are like seasons. We love and cherish them but it is time for their season to end
=(
YO, WHAT’S WIT DIS EMO ISH?
NOW IMMA GO CUT MY WRISTS!
/goes across the street
Quarter life? =P Seriously though, yeah just cherish those moments you had with them and like I always say, we live in a small small world. We’ll eventually bump into old friends and who knows sparks may still fly!
It’s kind of interesting how you feel this way, because I feel this way too. I look at old pictures of friends online and even through albums and I wonder what happened to them, where they are now, and what they think about me. I have a tendency to make friends, but at times… I get so busy and caught up in my own life, that I forget about them and leave them behind. Once I stop and realize they’re not there, thye’ve already taken a different path.
As someone in one of the above comments said to you, though… it IS life and the people who continue to stick with you through that path, even after you accidentally leave them behind, are the ones who are really your friends. They are the ones who have chosen to walk with you… and you just have to make sure you don’t leave them behind again.
the second collage looks eerily like something a serial killer would make of all his victims. .
Well said! These are wise words.
I feel this way about certain people. A lot.
ah, this is so nostalgic and sweet. i love it, and i feel the same way.
@CareyGLY - Yes, one of the downsides of growing up
@AmeliaHart - That’s definitely the ideal!
@nov_way - Haha, my bad. I thought it looked kinda cool.
@TwinkleSprinkles - Hmm, interesting way of putting it
@CaKaLusa - Haha, I wouldn’t quite say emo but just pensive thoughts. It’s out of my system now, so that’s good.
@oxyGENE_08 - sparks fly…like a firework? Imma let my color burst?
@nepenthium - Muhahahahaha
@LitlKittyKat - I guess I really put a lot of value in good friendships because I know they aren’t a given. Nonetheless, I understand sometimes that’s how life goes.
@AmyC0987 - You know, it took me a while to figure out how to put this down. I probably just think too much, but it’s good to have it out of my system this way.
@Losertastic - Nostalgia sure can be a mixed feeling at times.
@Roadlesstaken - Oh, it does! And gets the point across easily, too! =D
you’re a good man RLT
It happens to everyone. I’m not as close to some people as I should be. It happens. Just don’t let it get you down..okay? It’s all part of life and whatnot. It all happens sadly.
I’m glad you’re not complaining like those people “omg, people leavez me!!” When people walks out of your life, there’s new people to replace them. Nice post Alex. ^^
Luckily I have such a relationship with my friends that when we drift for years at a time I can call them up or email them and we pick up as though the last time I talked to them it was yesterday. I thought I had lost that with my best friend in the world. Literally the last day I talked to her was when we walked across the stage at our high school graduation. Losing her friendship really got to me. She was my neighbor. But we are back on speaking terms as though we never stopped talking…all I had to do was say “hi” to her on fb. Turns out she didn’t know if she could message me or call me because she thought I was mad at her for being childish that last month we were in school. haha.
i’m sure all of us felt this way one time or another
it’s unfortunate that this has to happen
It seems to me that life is meant to be that way. Different people play different roles in our lives, some for long periods of time and others for just brief periods. All of those relationships are important and have an impact on us in their own way.
Perhaps instead of going back to the way they were, why not start anew?
i have to say, im pretty lucky because i still managed to stay in contact with alot of friends, or at least not lose the bond. this can only mean one of two things: im really good with people, or that i know very little people.
but i rly like this post. the worst thing people can do, imo, is forget the people along the way. friends and love make life worth living. and even though they leave, just never forget the impact they left in your life.
stay positive rlt!
i heard the average individual goes through 5-7 groups of friends in his lifetime. it was sad for me to hear at first. it means the friends i have now will probably not be the same friends i have 10 years from now. but i’ll always have my memories of them and they were a part of my life and helped to shape the person i am today. i look at my old friends’ fb, people i was really close to years ago but barely talk to now and they all have their own lives, their new friends. i think back on the good times and feel grateful to have know them.
just as your old friends are in your heart, you are in their hearts too. every once in awhile, they’ll think of you and the memories you shared and feel lucky to have known you.
plus FB makes it so easy to stay connected now. =)
Weird, I was doing exactly this last night. I think I looked through more than 15 albums…and I have 102 albums. It made me sad.
I miss my old amigos too :/ but hey I’m glad I met you bro bro
People will always walk in and out of our lives. Even social networking sites like Facebook cannot bring two old friends together after long periods of disconnection.
@ThePrince - I appreciate you thinking that man
@Hinase - Nah, I’m not down fortunately. You know how nostalgia can be.
@Got_Claws - Haha yeah, I have a lot of friends that have stuck around so I’m good on that =) . More friends never hurt though.
@itsallgreenjello - Those type of friendships are pretty cool. I have a few like that as well.
@jing116 - I figured I wasn’t alone in feeling this way about old friends.
@christao408 - Different people playing specific roles in our lives…I like that interpretation.
@Bodhiseeker - Either way works!
@suuperstar - I’m sure it’s the first option =)
@passionblame - In some ways FB does help, although it does feel awkward to try to talk to somebody you use to know a couple time periods ago. I have several old high school friends that I have in mind right now haha.
@DoRi_dOrI - That’s a lot of photo albums! Wait…I just checked and saw I have 94 haha. I guess 102 isn’t so bad.
@hollywoodfever91 - I guess I’m glad I met you too =)
@twentyse7enn - Yeah, FB can only go so far.
i think that one of the biggest obstacles i have encounterred in friendships is marriage. now that all of my close friends(and sadly i do mean all) are married it’s not just mates out on the town whenever. now, they have to check with the wife or watch the kids or whatever. then there is the “couples” phenomenon that occurs when one starts dating and only intensifies upon marriage when they want to hang out with other couples instead of other individuals.
I thought the same thing when I was looking at old photos too.
More memories and friends will continue to be made, and today’s moments and friends may end up the same as our faded memories right now.
@Cestovatelka - That’s probably true =/
@HelloKitty0809 - I guess that would be a start.
@ionekoa - I think I would have to agree with you on that observation. I’ve noticed that too with my married peers, which are ever increasing in numbers.
@Roadlesstaken - actually that gives me an idea for a video. a commercial for a mail-order date. for those singles who don’t want to be a fifth wheel. you just keep your mail-order date neatly stored away somwhere(like those workout equipment commercials) and when you need someone for a “couples” function they can be ready in minutes. would have to think of a clever name for it though.
@Roadlesstaken - Very sad response. Welp, airhug to you. <3
I feel the same way looking back on all my school pictures. I still talk to some people but other ones are a distant past. Even i were to pass one of them on the street I don’t think we would recognize one another. =/ but like someone else said, at least we still have the memories!!
I get that feeling a lot…… And since I’m only one person and I can’t possibly maintain amazing, close friendships with so many people, I fear it’s going to be this way the rest of my life. It’s rather sad, I suppose.
@squiggs_02 - Oy, those have been awkward experiences in the past where I would wave at somebody I knew on campus and they would look at me as if they didn’t know me.
@psycocrazypony - You have close friendships with some people at least, right? That’s pretty good enough right there. That’s why I’m not too sad about lost friends. While I miss them, I at least have friends I can still confide in now =)
Yeah…
i hear that old friends stand the test of time.
no matter how long you may go without seeing one another, you will always be friends. the memories can’t dissipate.. unless you get alzeimer’s or something… 
but uhmm. i understand how you feel, alex. it’s bittersweet.
People come and go, and I’ve finally come to terms with that. It’s saddening sometimes to look back and see the friendships I once shared with them, and now everything is completely different. But the memories are always ours to keep.
I really like this post. it’s good to see how you don’t forget the people that impacted you and how you manage to stay positive. very admirable xD.
I can’t imagine parting from my group of friends, but I know it’s inevitable, especially since it’s my senior year at high school. I’m going to miss them a lot, but for now I’ll cherish whatever time we have left. Hopefully I’ll be able to make even better friends later on, and i’ll definitely try to keep in touch with my high school friends.
It is always sad to lose track of touch of a friend, but at the same time it is healthy for us to have to exercise our memories and for our social circles to have a life cycle of their own.
As you get older, you’ll understand how cool it is to go to various reunions and catch up with these old friends. Even though they are also older, you will be able to see the person you knew within them and laugh and cry over times past.
Life is a growing process and because of this, nothing stays the same. Forcefully causing us to take different roads of understanding. Accept then the present and never forget your past. Its a way of learning to gather impulse to move forward.
@Roadlesstaken - LOL…sure if you want to. Flash those moobs and let the fireworks fly!
I know how it feels. I keep telling myself that people come and go, and that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. That’s how I cope.
There are a lot of people in my life I used to be close to, and now I rarely talk to. It’s just about reconnecting. I should probably message some of my long lost friends.
Hve the same feeling here!
@pcketfulofsunshine - I really hope I don’t get Alzheimer! That would be a horrible fate for me.
@jumpthenfly - @mystic_sapphire - Hopefully more people come than go =)
@kpxls1 - I’m still close to my best friends from high school. It can work!
@PopeOnABomb - Definitely. Good thing that we have the ability to adopt.
@RakkaRay - I look forward to it, seeing how time and experience has shaped people over the years =)
@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter - That’s a good way of looking at it
@RaquelHiggins005 - Even Facebook can only help us so much haha, but yeah it does make staying in touch easier at least.
@pinksoda117 - Hopefully they won’t feel it’s too awkward to try to rekindle the friendship.
You were very fortunate to meet me. You’re welcome.
LAME ASIAN SENTIMENTAL POST!
<—- mean commenter
Good point. I always try to make a good effort to keep in touch with the best of my friends from the past though
. I guess my outlook is that life’s kinda ike a filtering process, you go and filter through all your best friends from every part of life till you’re left with the best of the best at the end.
I know what yo mean. makes me kinda sad…
I have done the same thing before. It’s a sad reality, but the memories are always great to look back on.
Well done. I am lucky to be able to keep tabs on several people from long ago, via the hometown paper’s website and the social media.
Reading this also spurred me to check in on people who have been Xanga friends, and haven’t been around for a while.
think the truly great friends will simply allow each other to pick up where they left off
whether it be 3-4 years, true friends will just get together no problem and catch up
@fLiPgUy31O - I wasn’t talking about you.
@shatterFocus - Yup, you got that right. The second comment of course!
@pika_whoosh - Survival of the fittest? Elimination rounds?
@RunTroughTheRain - hey, at least we have the ability to make new friends!
@kinseydanielle - Ah, how bittersweet nostalgia can be
@cyberbear - I like doing that too. You sometimes forget how long somebody hasn’t updated.
@Kboi - Indeed. That’s how a lot of my close friends are now.
I reminisce a LOT, so I know what you mean.
Great entry! I did the same thing~! Looking back, I realized I met a lot of awesome people and also became distant with some. It’s like what you said, cherish the moments you had with them. Now it’s time to focus on the ones that are close to you =) Hope 2011 will be great for you~! I’m sure it will be~! You’re very social and I’m sure you’ll meet many more great friends! =)
@Roadlesstaken - definitely. darwinian evolution of my list of friends
.
I, too, have been reflecting on old friendships with people I am no longer in contact with.
I have reconnected with some of them on Facebook.
I think the important thing is that you never forget them and what you learned from them. You’ll naturally have different friends at different parts of your life as you grow and evolve and as sad as it is sometimes you outgrow friends but just remember them and hey you never know the response you might get if you drop them a ‘hi’ on Facebook and ask how they’re doing.
glad and thankful i still mine really close to me though ! >.<
@bamzilicious26 - Daydreamer as well? I am.
@ImprezaGirl - We should meet again! Properly this time, not in a running class haha
@Divine_Diva_in_NC - That’s good! FB does help.
@shuang_zhaohui - True true. I should go do that more often.
@s_h_a_sha - You’re close to your self? Geez, so narcissistic of you!! haha
I know exactly how you feel…we can only look forward and learn =)
Best of luck in 2011!
@Dobserver - Wish you the best too!
It is always sad when two good friends drift apart, and there’s no stopping it. Life has a habit of getting in the way, and the process can be so gradual and subtle that you don’t even realize the two of you are heading in two different directions. The older you get, the more you realize how it is an inevitable part of growing up. There is always someone you going to miss, and things to reminisce over. When the feeling hits you, the best thing you can do is hope that that person is content and well, and be happy that he/she used to mean something to you.
Sometimes friends just drift out of our lives. I am not the greatest at keeping in touch with friends but I should make a better effort. I think it’s easier rekindling old friendships than making new ones.
@ElusiveWords - Do you think so? For one reason or another I feel it’s a bit easier to make new friends than rekindle old friendships since current circumstances make it much harder to do.
@CuaSo - I agree x 100. We’re on the same wavelength it seems.
@Roadlesstaken - /feels no burn, since Alex delivers only lame asian comebacks that have, well, NO BURN.
@shatterFocus - Silly girl. I don’t want to burn you because I know how fragile you can be. That’s why I went easy on you.
Agreed. I completely understand what you’re saying. It just sucks that life moves so fast, and things fade on by. But everything happens for the best right?
@throughsamseyes - That’s what we hope for!
Great post man. It definitely is tough seeing so many come in and out of our lives. Here’s to us and wherever our friendship takes us. Cheers. (Btw, have fun in Houston man. Don’t tire yourself out too much though… SF is right around the corner. =P)
@bengozen - Yeah, there’s a flu going around right now in the household that I’m trying to avoid. Try not to get sick yourself!
@Roadlesstaken - Awwww….you think I’m fragile! That’s adorable ^_^
beautiful
you touched on so many emotions and words that people want to say to these types of friends, but can’t find the courage to
@Roadlesstaken - you know, after I posted that comment I thought about it a bit more and have mixed feelings about it. With old friends, some times feelings, perceptions, distance, awkwardness, pride etc.. all seem to conspire against rekindling a friendship.
My dad always likes to tell me that sometimes, different friends are present at different points in our lives to help us through certain periods. Last year, for me as well, was really a hallmark year in realizing and treasuring my best of friends. I guess realizing that what my dad says is true, it makes me want to hold onto them for as long as I can so much more.
Perhaps one day, though, you’ll get a chance to reconnect with them- although the both of you have moved on to different times in your life. But I do know what its like to look back and feel sad, especially if things went wrong somewhere in certain friendships- to sort of see what life has done.
This is a meaningful post. I’m sure your friends will feel it after reading this entry.
@swtaznxtc90 - Thanks. This post sure is a drastically different from my current one huh?
@mandyman27 - You know what bothers me more? Is looking back and seeing friends I’ve lost simply because we lost touch and not due to something bad. I feel like man, those friendships should have kept on going.
@Elizabeth_Ho - If they ever read it haha. Thank you.
@Roadlesstaken - I know what you mean. Sometimes you wonder how and when everyone lost touch. But I guess, as someone said, there is fb which does make it easier to contact them in a casual way
many would probably recommend you to just let the past be the past and that you should move on. that’s somewhat true but i think it is important to remember, no matter how bitter the memory may cause you. among the people i know in my life, i think i am the one who has the most number of turnover of friends.
i have lived my life in 3 different countries and with two different schools in each country. it was difficult to maintain the same friends in life when you keep moving to a different location and keep meeting new people, especially when as a person you learn to grow up over the years and have a change in interests and outlook on life. you bound to have people come and go. some may stay. well, very few probably would, as they too grow up and change. you gain some and you loose some. life is funny that way.
it is almost impossible to always keep those you know close to you all your life. you have probably figured it out by now that it is best to accept the change, learn from the mistakes that may drove them or yourself away, and live life the best you know how with open arms and mind. i have learned to let my heart grow harder and keep thinking forward. it may not be the best way to live but it’s the best way i know. this 2011 let’s hope those we know and stayed with us before the year started and those whom we will have the fortunate to get to know this year will all keep stay in our lives for many more years to come.
so here’s to friendship. may 2011 be a much better year than the past. cheers.
@rudyhou - This was probably my favorite comment someone has left for me on this post =) . Thank you for reading!
u welcome. by the way, you blog “an unexpected forehead hickey” just cracked me up big time. thanks for making me laugh