December 1, 2010
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I AM Really From Here!
Last week, I was interviewed by Linh_L (above) for her research study on how Asian-Americans conceive and portray their identity through social networks (like this site!). I surprised myself with how much I was able to say on this subject. Asian-American issues has always been something that interested me, yet for whatever reason it’s not something I often express on here. I think I’m going to start writing a few posts about it now that these thoughts are in my head again.
I guess I can start with something I said during my interview that apparently caught Linh_L’s attention. I can’t remember exactly what question by her led me to say this, but I told her I would sometimes jokingly mess with people when they ask me where I’m from. She was curious about that statement, so I clarified it.
Basically, there’s this particular scenario I have found myself in many times, especially when I make small talk with older people I’ve recently met. We would be having a light-hearted conversation when all of a sudden the person would ask me, “So, where are you from?”
Now, there’s nothing wrong with someone asking me that question. I would usually reply by saying, “I’m from Maryland” and leave it at that.
Right after I tell them this, I can guess pretty soon whether or not that person will accept that answer and move on. If instead they react as if I said something totally ridiculous, I know what follow-up question is coming next:
“No, where are you REALLY from?”For the most part I know the person isn’t meaning to be rude or offensive by asking me that. I know some people are just interested in my “motherland” because they want to share that they really enjoy the food there, that they enjoy the culture, or that they know how to say a few words in that language (what actually is the proper response to that?). I understand that for some people that’s how they casually ask what ethnicity someone is and they truly don’t see anything wrong with phrasing it that way. For them I would just say my family came from Hong Kong, but I was born in the US. However, there are others that seem to be implying I’m an immigrant or that I’m not actually fully American. It’s with those people I have some fun messing with:
“My hometown is Severn, MD. Oh, you mean originally? Sorry, I actually came from Laurel, MD before I moved. I suppose more specifically I came from my mother’s womb at the local hospital in that area. I could look up the particular address for you if you want. Just a second!”
Ah, gotta love their reactions when I do that.
All kidding aside, I do admit there’s a part of me that feels a bit annoyed with being asked that follow-up question. I almost want to ask them some of my own follow-up questions. “Why was my first answer not sufficient enough for you? Is it so hard to accept that I identify the US, the place I was born in and grew up all my life, as the place I’m from? If I was, say Caucasian instead, would you have kept on questioning me on my origins? If you were just wondering about my ethnicity, why not just asked me that instead?” For the sake of keeping the conversation light-hearted though I choose to refrain from asking all that.
For better or worse, I’m so used to this that it doesn’t really faze me anymore. Still, it’s something worth pondering about. Don’t get me wrong, as an Asian-American I am quite proud of my Asian heritage and don’t mind talking with people about it. I just want those people to not disregard what’s on the other side of the hyphen.
Comments (169)
Secretly you are really from Pallet Town.
lol I got that all the time down in NC. especially at the veteran’s hospital.
Ah. See. I never ask those questions. I feel so awkward and so stereotypically Caucasian to ask people about their nationality. I’m currently talking to this guy who is clearly of Hispanic heritage, but I am too nervous to ask. I don’t want to insult him. And he hasn’t asked about mine (I’m not usually asked) so…..I feel like it’s a really rude question to randomly ask. My friends of color tell me it isn’t a big deal, but I don’t want to be ignorant or offend him, or point out that we look different from one another. Because I don’t care, it’s not that. I love that. I’m just curious about his nationality. But I’m worried it won’t come off that way.
So I know what you mean. I’m painfully aware of those kinds of questions, and I always try to sidestep asking people about their nationalities.
I guess it depends on where you live. For my part, I don’t get that question too often. I suppose because in NYC, nobody really cares since we constantly see a sea of different-colored faces day in and day out.
As for my attitude towards caucasians, I sometimes think to myself that they’re a mutt since the chances are pretty high that they are. I mean, if your ancestors came from Europe, there’s a pretty good chance you’ve got a bit of French, German, Polish and Italian blood in you from some point in history. Maybe even some North African if your family originated near the Med.
If I was, say Caucasian instead, would you have kept on questioning me on my origins? If you were just wondering about my ethnicity, why not just asked me that instead?”
EXACTLY!
i am so glad you wrote about this, alex. you’re just too cool to say what i wanna say.
which i won’t.
ok i will (to those who ask follow-up questions, as if you couldn’t have come from the same fucking place they could’ve)
FUCKING FUCK YOU
that felt good.
@sonychak - @wonderland7386 - @whotakethmycoke - come on guys, rec this.
and i love the pic. ca-yoooot
I find this post pretty interesting since one of my current roommates is completing her PhD in Sociology and is doing similar research regarding Asian Americans. It seems a little silly to me that you would get that question so often. America is a melting pot and there are a number of different ethnicities that were actually born in this country by now rather than moving here from a different country in their lifetime. It actually seems kind of racist (or at least ignorant) to me in the sense that there are actually a number of individuals living in this country who are White and born in another country, but who probably get asked that same question way less. Hmm… Anyway, just my two cents.
Hey, I like how you say Asian-American. Guess times has changed, because for the most part, I still thinking of Chinese-American. LOL..
But I hear you, it’s hard for most people to believe that you’re not from China, Taiwan, or Hong Kong.. Also I hear this a lot too… You’re not from NY, SF, LA…
ha! “mother’s womb”. i gotta use that line next time.
I see how that would get annoying. I’ve had a few people ask me where I’m from and I answer Maryland. And it turns out they really wanted to know my heritage. At work my manager can usually tell what countries people are from. If she’s not sure either she’ll ask or she’ll get me to ask. I say, “What country are you from?” I think that’s better. I ask people that if its obvious they aren’t from here. like if they have a strong accent or something.
i totally agree with you sentiments on ignoring the second half of the hyphen. it’s funny though, whenever i go to asia though, they seem to only want to focus on that half. interesting huh?
Well said. I get that question a lot also. But also at times when I speak my native tongue to elders and they ask me where in Vietnam was I born and I tell them I’m actually born in the US, they look pleasantly surprised. Either I speak Viet pretty well, or perhaps I look like a fob?? lol Either way, I can identify with you being an Asian-American. Gonna rec’d this post! =)
Asian-American FTW. I am curious about the Asian origin but there’s a point where curiosity can reach disrespectful, ya know?
@AmyC0987 - I agree with that.
I get asked that question a lot to. Not really wanting to know where I’m from, but where my parents are from. And when I say NJ, they ask where my grandparents are from and then I say NJ. And they get exasperated. So they’re basically asking me what ethnicity/race am I without asking “Are you mixed” of if I’m foreign. I don’t quite see it, but whatever.
I’m a 3rd generation American, once removed from my mom’s side. It frustrates some ppl when they ask where my parents or grandparents are from and I say Ny lol. I tell them I’m bajan and they’re like black and asian? Technically true but most ppl don’t realize that bajan is the term ppl from Barbados are referred to lol.
i’m from Funkytown!
i honestly think some people ask “where are you from” as a casual way of asking about your background. that said, i dont think the “where are you REALLY from” is necessary. i was born in hk, so when they ask, i naturally give them the answer they wanted. i can definitely understand why you’d feel slightly offended though.
i find this surprising because i did a research paper abt a year ago on multiculturalism. america is really set up like a melting pot, with all races and ethnicities starting to “melt” and assimilate into one another. canada is much more of a mosaic, so when people ask about where you’re from, we always instantly refer to our ethnicities and not actual birth place. especially in toronto, being one of the most multicultural cities in the world, usually ppl just respond “im born here, but my family was from ____.”
just some food for thought :)
@sonychak - HEY, i’m from there too!
It’s okay, I get that a lot too. But here I just say HERE and they just shut up XD
I get that too! Just say your motherland is Maryland. But yea, when people ask me that… I know they are expecting to hear China and I’m not even Chinese.
I’m asked that questions on a constant, too, but sometimes I enjoy it. Definitely spices up conversations & I like that people are into learning more abt different cultures. It’s sad when people don’t know there family history. I believe you’re really from here, though.
btw, faze. u prolly just slipped on that one by accident. i do that too
it’s like right and write. i know the difference, but sometimes spell it one way when i mean the other. XD
anywho….even though i was an immigrant and born in china, i know what you mean! being american doesn’t mean you have to be regular white, God! (excuse me for using the lord’s name in vain here, but thought i had to to make my point) i hate it when asians (well, chinese really as i can’t speak for anyone else) say “american” like everyone else besides them is a foreigner. helllooowwww, if you have u.s. citizenship and you live here, u are american, even if you look chinese and blah. usually our elders say that so it’s not like i can really say anything back, haha, but i totally get what you mean. so if you’re from maryland, then more power to you for saying that’s where you are from. cuz you are!
I never really have that problem. When they ask me where I’m from, I answer ‘Las Vegas’ and they drop it. It isn’t until I’m actually talking about my heritage do people say: “AHHAHA. Ohhhhh. You’re Chinese!! I thought you were half-black, half-Mexican!”
I used to get Japanese, or Thai, or Vietnamese, or Filipino. How’d I transform into half-black and/or half-Mexican?
Oh, the mysteries of life. It’s better to kick back and have fun with it. Thinking too much can cause irritation.
Yeah, that can be annoying ugh they think we’re from China or some where in Asia lol
[If I was, say Caucasian instead, would you have kept on questioning me on my origins?]
The flip side to all this is that though some people will keep pressing you with these kind of questions, the ones who won’t even touch this line of questioning are those who are themselves, in your case, from HK. The ironic part is they don’t ask because they already know, but they usually don’t ask because they don’t see you as one of them (similarly how some people don’t view an Asian-American as fully American). And with this crowd, if they do ask “Severn, MD” might be just what they’re looking for in an answer.
One of my nieces is Korean…she was born in Korea, but moved to the US as a baby. Once when she was about 4, she was with me in a mall and several people looked at her and then asked me if she spoke Chinese. They were quite shocked to hear that she spoke English. One older man asked me if she liked to eat rice; then he said, “They all like to eat rice, don’t they?” I was amazed and kinda’ shocked at the questions people asked me about her.
This was interesting to read. I like how you handle people’s questions.
I think people mean well. But I can see how it can get annoying.
HUGS!
First of all, Caucasian is OUR word. You can’t use it (lol, j/k. I’m sorry, I’ve wanted to say that forever when I see “Caucasian” anywhere. I also want to insist that I am “European-American” on like, questionnaires that give the choices of “white” and “African-American”)
I have a professor that I want to ask what he puts, because he’s black, so if the choice is “white” or “black” it’s obvious, but he’s actually Jamaican-American, so he’s not going to put “African-American”, but does that mean he has to select “other”? What if “other” isn’t an option? Why can’t we just put “American” if we were born here?
@sonychak - I’m not Ash Ketchum! Or Red!
@wonderland7386 - Not anymore in NY?
@whotakethmycoke - Location does seem to play at least some factor.
@hilaw - I sense some deep-rooted frustrations from you haha
@xx0behindthesmile - I think it’s alright to ask about people’s ethnicity or nationality if curious. Just don’t imply they are any less American because of that haha
@AmyC0987 - It doesn’t get asked to me all the time, but often enough in the past that I’m not surprise when I hear it.
@AmyC0987 - It is an interesting social phenomenon. I wonder how prevalent it will be in the next generation?
@SuperRat - Ah, I suppose both Asian-American or Chinese-American works. Technically, American works too haha
@bridgetrhee - Hmm, I suppose I’ll allow you =)
@HeLLo_Bianca - Oh yes, that’s a better question to ask.
@bengozen - That will probably be a future blog of mine!
@Babieboo_Annie - Ah, I wish I can speak Cantonese as fluently as I want to. This will also be a potential future post of mine.
@Roadlesstaken - with me it’s more like, what are you? same fucking thing. and filipinos never believe me. that’s really frustrating.
Hello fellow Santa! ^v^
I totally know how you feel! It annoys me to no end.. I often get mistaken for being Japanese, Korean or the local of the city I was visiting (even in Paris, since there are many Parisians of Vietnamese heritage). Am not sure if I should be thankful for having such a common face!! ><;;
It seems weird to me that we label people “Asian-American” or “African-American,” but you never hear “European-American.”
@GenuineBByDoll - I think that’s okay to be curious about, as long as you asked that straight up. Asian is my ethnicity, but my nationality lies with the United States.
@RaquelHiggins005 - I wonder if part of the reason for that is because they’re afraid to be offensive asking you about that, which is kind of funny when what results is still not that good.
@Yohkom - Ah, well at least now they know!
@suuperstar - I tend to go with that last way of responding too. I do think you’re right about how people use it as a casual way of asking that. I take it that way too. Just a small part of me feel like there’s probably a better way to say it than that.
@CaKaLusa - Ew, I hate people from Funkytown! Be gone!
@buiptammy - China does seem to be a common go to choice.
I think this only affects those born here.
When someone asks me where I’m from, it’s natural for me to say I’m from the Philippines. When they ask where I live, I tell them I live in Maryland or specifically the city. It depends on the context and who I’m talking to.
I can see how that gets annoying. You don’t really see yourself as from China. You identify and acknowledge being Asian, but you’re from Maryland.
@HelloKitty0809 - Thank you for believing in me!
@wyrdkismet - I must have been thinking of phasers like from Star Trek haha.
@lilxwunxnxluv - Yeah, I don’t get angry about it. Just something to think about as to how it has come about that way.
@hollywoodfever91 - Wait, you’re Asian?! j/k
hahaha i should start doing that – you’re so silly, alex
i don’t actually get asked that tho. it’s more “so what’s your ethnicity?” from a fellow asian person. freaking asians. lulz
@drung888 - Ah yes, this is another topic I can very well write about in the near future!
@adamswomanlost - Exactly. Some words have also become less PC over time. I know this nice old man who likes to call me Oriental haha. I know he doesn’t mean ill with that term though.
@Covergirl_For_Sanity_Fair -@randaness - Ah, yet another topic I could really talk about for a while. I wonder if there will come a point in our lifetime where that hyphen won’t be necessary?
@morningmoka - I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you afford to travel to all the places you’ve gone to? I would so like to do that if it wasn’t for funding and scheduling restraints.
@stupid_systemus - Yeah, you bring up a lot of valid points. While I identify being Chinese, my home is here.
@snapeful - You haven’t been asked that even once?
@Roadlesstaken - Who knows? I can’t say I would call it “necessary” now, it’s some weird mix of socially mandated and politically correct. My cousin’s husband is black, and it really bothers her that Devin is considered “African-American” by most people.
I would say ‘ my mother’s vagina, bitch. ‘ HAHA jk, but somewhere along those lines. (;
This post reminds me of King of the Hill where Kahn moves in next door and Hank or one of his friends asks if he’s Chinese or Japanese, only to have him explain how he is from Laos. Then one of of Hank’s friends asked if he’s Chinese or Japanese.
@Roadlesstaken - mm mostly back in the east coast i got asked stuff like that, here it’s more asians lol.
i think a lot of people don’t know how to ask. most likely they associate ethnicity with geography, so they ask “where are you from?”. i suppose it must be frustrating knowing that some people ask because they actually care and others just so they can have some way of further classifying you. it’s funny though, i posted a little rant about this very topic the other day, about how some people get mad if you don’t know precisely where they are from(heritagewise) and some others don’t want you to pry. as a honkey, it leads to a very confusing set of expectations, which i suppose is why i decided i don’t care what other people want, im just going to go about things my own way.
@xchinkylaydee - Oh that sure would spice up the conversation!
@Rob_of_the_Sky - So…is he Chinese or Japanese? j/k
@ionekoa - Interesting perspective. I agree that miscommunications can easily happen when dealing with this topic, which is why I’m not too sensitive with it. It does make me want to study this!
that is a weird follow up question for them to ask.
if you told people you were Caucasian, they’d start asking you questions on whether you were confused about yourself or not.
It never even occurs to me to ask people what ethnicity they are. I don’t know why….it just seems irrelevant. There’s so many different ethnicities where I live though, I just don’t even notice. I mean…eventually if you talk to somebody enough, it comes up casually anyways. Nobody ever inquires about what country was my origin…like you said…cause I’m white.
IT’S CAUSE I’M WHITE, ISN’T IT?
No serously though…everybody’s ancestors were immigrants at some point. Therefore I don’t really see it as being any different and never really occurs to me to ask.
Damn, Linh’s lookin’ dope. I hope she sees my comment. hahaha
I’m from Germany, can you tell?
Oh brother! I think you two were studying each other.
Many times when I ask ppl that it’s bc I am trying to place their accent…which makes me wonder if many meant that as well when they ask you…
I’m 1/2 Indian & Irish born & raised in Tx I look white to everyone but Asians ( almost been a few others) , & they ask what Kind of Indian I am, almost every time…lol so Asians ask odd questions too
I don’t know where I got it from, but if people get frustrated with mother’s womb, then I go further with father’s testicles. It throws people off even more. :3 You know what can be annoying though? Getting the question, “Where were you born?” and giving the response, “Germany.” Being an Asian with a Spanish last name born in Germany, having landed in Florida and living there for as short of a time as my birth in Germany, (a few months for both) then living in California and having lived in one city, moving to another, then moving back to the previous city can get annoying. I find it amusing when people have a hard time with my “Asian” last name. Talking to people online makes it easier for people to understand, though. Everyone seems to understand the world is connected when they’re in front of a computer screen.
at least they don’t ask you with a straight serious face “what are you actually?”
hahah…sometimes I also get, after I introduce myself: ” what’s your GIVEN name?”, them assuming my name was my “american” name, and that my real name must be a multi-syllabic tongue-twister with a lot of consonants. I repeat my name, adding that I’m a junior and my dad has the same name…which doesn’t satisfy them
well, financial and scheduling constraints can be overcome with sufficient planning and expectation management.
for the financial part, i usually look for travel promotions and book the cheapest air ticket (but that entails flying and arriving at weird hours..) around 3 – 4 months in advance since air ticket prices start to explode around 1-2 months before the intended flight date. as for hotel accommodation, i use http://www.agoda.com. they have tonnes of good deals and you can often get a 4-5 stars hotel at 3 stars rate. whenever i travel, i don’t shop and i eat at local eateries and take public transport (unless it’s unsafe). so the flight ticket and hotel accommodation are my main expenses.
as for the scheduling, i would love to spend many days in an exotic destination but since taking days off work is not always easy in Japan, i make it a point to do short trips during public holidays or over a long weekend. the only time i do a “big trip” is during the golden week in May, silver week in Sept and Xmas. other than that, i usually spend only 3 (to max 4) days for every trip i make – it’s awfully short but it satisfies my wanderlust and is also kinder on my pocket..
i saw that you are already on the lookout for travel deals next year. looks like you’ve been bitten by wanderlust too and you are getting the hang of things. ^v^ i look forward to your travelogues!!
I’ve never been fond of Laurel. My kid loved the carousel at the mall though.
I would assume you’re American if you don’t have an accent, however I would ask you something like “what kind of asian” are you? cause you know how the ladies love them asians
also I don’t know if it’s horrible to ask people what race they are but i do it all the time
@sonychak - EPIC RESPONSE. BAHAHAHAHA!
I really loved these follow ups…
“Why was my first answer not sufficient enough for you? Is it so hard to accept that I identify the US, the place I was born in and grew up all my life, as the place I’m from? If I was, say Caucasian instead, would you have kept on questioning me on my origins? If you were just wondering about my ethnicity, why not just asked me that instead?”
People just straight out ask me what my background is. I don’t actually know is the funny thing. My mom was adopted and the records are sealed about her birth parents, so there’s this whole half of me that I can’t really account for. All they would say at the center (which was more than they were supposed to) was that her bio mother was white and her bio dad was black. But this was back in the 1960s and that could mean practically anything. People have guessed we’re Latino, African-American, Jewish, Pacific Islander, Croatian… The list goes on.
So for me, the only reason I don’t enjoy the question of my ethnicity every time it comes up is because the answer takes so long, lol. I just get a little weary of explaining it over and over. It’s not a point of offense to me, I just get tired! I love the topic and I wonder where my mom’s ancestors are from quite often. On my dad’s side it’s all pretty straight-forward. British and German. Mostly British. It’s fascinating, but for me personally it’s just full of really big holes right now.
~V
I do the same thing! I say California
I find that usually, it’s the older people who’ll ask “no, where are you REALLY from?”
I haven’t gotten, “No, where are you REALLY from” for a while. Now, after people ask me where I’m from and I say New York, they tend to ask, “oh, but where are your parents from?” Which is almost the same, because they basically assume that if an Asian was born in the U.S, then my parents MUST have not been, and that regardless of the fact that I am a natural US citizen, it’s somehow less so because my family hasn’t been here for generations. It’s true that I am second generation, but I know a good number of Asians whose parents were born here as well and I feel bad for the conversations they have with strangers about where they are from, because that must be one heck of a drawn out conversation!
I don’t understand why they can’t just ask what my ethnicity is!
I love your answer for those who think you’re an immigrant! The “where you’re from” question was a hot topic in one of my AA studies classes…if you have time to take a class or two, it’s pretty fascinating what you can learn.
To be specific, I am Hong-Kong American, hehe. I got that question asked a lot even in California. At times, I played with the person, told them I came from Ireleand and ask them to look at my green eyes, lol. Got a chuckle everytime. I have known to ask my white friends where the heritage was, and I agree 99% of them are mixed of various nationality.
I would like to tell them I’m Indian. It would make me look foreign, mysterious, and a kind man with that old-world charm and the soft brown eyes. Besides, it’s better than telling everyone I was born in Bridgeport, CT.
@sonychak - LOLZ
But yeah… I’ve heard a lot of my Asian friends go through that and I sort of think it’s ridiculous. Even in my more naive-suburbuan-whitegirl days, the most I would ask was “so what’s your heritage?” and only IN CONTEXT of a conversation, which I would add my own heritage (Irish) to. But yeah. what’s even stranger is that speaking English in Quebec (my province) makes you somewhat of a foreigner too. Growing up, people would continually ask me where I was from, just because I speak English… and continue probing with “ok, then where are you parents/grandparents from” when I told them I was from HERE, damnit. So I can relate a teensy bit.
I can’t relate since I’m not in America but I know what you mean. People always ask that question to Asians to know whether they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc… I guess it’s better to answer that question with My family is Chinese but I grew up in the US, or something like that. Always assume that what that question really meant is to know your ethnicity.
I remember theacematt2 interviewing me about race and ethnicity. And Linh_L also asked me for an interview for this study that was before she realized I was not in the US.
I’m constantly told, “Ahh, red hair. You’re from Ireland!” Not even said as a question, such as: “Are you from Ireland?” (Which is still an annoying generalization, but at least they asked…)
I get very frustrated when people flat out tell me I am Irish – as if I wouldn’t know better than they would?! I had someone go, “I know you’re Irish!” and I replied, “I’m actually German” and he refused to believe me. “Ah, but there is most definitely a lot of Irish in you. I know an Irish when I see one!” It really pisses me off when it reaches that point. People seem to have zero problems telling me what I am, all based on my hair color. They act as if stereotyping and generalizing me is not offensive whatsoever.
I’m German. GERMAN. I have ZERO Irish in me!
I totally agree with you ^_^
It’s shocking what total idiots some people can be. You are amazing to handle it as you do. I’d be a lot less nice. This is a really interesting post, and I love that you were interviewed on such a compelling topic!
@hilaw - Love it!! I think that’s pretty much the way to respond to such people!
I get the, “So where are you from?” question a lot too. I just choose to say, “Well I was born in Louisiana but now I live here. My parents were born in India.”
And they ask, “Wait, so if you’re Indian how come you’re wearing a scarf?”
“Well… Because I’m Muslim…” And in my head I add on, “Quite obviously.” and then choose to politely ignore their befuddled expression and move to a different topic of conversation.
But I guess that’s for another post.
i just say I’m Heaven sent.
Alex, it is totally legitimate and reasonable for you to respond with something along the lines of “Why was my first answer not sufficient enough for you? Is it so hard to accept that I identify the US, the place I was born in and grew up all my life, as the place I’m from? If I was, say Caucasian instead, would you have kept on questioning me on my origins? If you were just wondering about my ethnicity, why not just asked me that instead?” You can do this without being snarky or rude, but those are fair questions to ask people. Something maybe a little less confrontational would be, “I was born in Maryland. Are you instead asking me about my ancestors’ heritage?”
i can understand that. hey, were youu looking to enter my contest? lol
It always amazed me that it never seemed to brother my Asian American friends when people would ask where they are from or remark that they speak English so well that they don’t even have an accent. I suppose they were just used to it the way I was used to people not believing that both my parents are black. I remember one person asking if I as sure my dad was really my dad so I told them since I look just like my dad I should probably go home and ask my mom if she was sure she was really the woman that gave birth to me since there is no possible way I am just black…
That questions annoys me too. I don’t want to deny my Asian heritage, but I think of myself foremost as an American. It’s actually really refreshing when people ask me if I speak Chinese. That’s how I know they didn’t jump to conclusions.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Yeah for real. Doesn’t happen all the time, but enough.
@jeannie_dot_com - I’ve done that too as a way to mess with people haha
@BingleBot - Haha yes, race does seem to be one of the most noticeable features you see in a person. There seems to be that subconscious belief that people associate Americans as being white when that’s only a part of it.
@fLiPgUy31O - She got a webcam now so you can watch her eat!
@ItIsAllGravy - Wait…YOU’RE NOT ASIAN?!
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace - We were studying each other’s brains! Yes…
@Made2sing4Jesus - Haha funny enough I’m not excluding Asian people either. Some older Asian people too have asked me where I’m really from, as if because I’m Asian I should identify being from my ethnic origins.
@should_I_Tell_You - I guess also online other features becomes more noticeable right away than just your race. It makes it a tad easier for people to base their opinions on what you write than how you look, especially if you’re using an avatar or a screenname.
@maniacsicko - Actually, I seriously think I have gotten that question!
@TheUnbearableLightnessofPeeing - Oh man, that’s one question I don’t think I’ve been asked just yet. Wait, I take it back. Some older Asian people have asked me that as well when they thought I was recently from China haha.
@morningmoka - Thanks for the tips! Do you have any plans to visit the US anytime?
@throughthinking - Yeah, Laurel has gone down a lot in the past years. Arundel Mills definitely took a lot of the thunder from the mall there. Do you live there?
@RaggyDoll - You know what’s funny? For some reason, I apparently have a small accent on some words I say…yet I’ve been here all my life! I blame my grandma for messing me up when she taught me her unique dialect of Chinese haha.
@alwateen - They are good questions to ponder about!
@TheMarriedFreshman - Ah interesting. I’ve read about sites that can track your family history, but I’m not quite sure how it works. Have you tried them?
@Senlin - Nah you’re right, I’ve noticed that too. Perhaps it was pretty common/normal to ask it like that back then.
Yeah definitely can relate to this (but not in a bad way): folks would ask me if I was born here; I would give them the ‘yes’ reply… THEN they’ll always ask me where my parents are from… I’m not bothered that they want to know my heritage. lol, I’ve never gotten the “where are you REALLY from” question.
@sonychak - Awesome.
@pax_intus - Apparently after talking with a couple people there are some that think it would be rude to ask what ethnicity someone is straight out. Pretty funny how that is.
@xiaosnowtenshi - I wish those classes were offered at my college when I went =( . I would have been interested.
@stevew918 - Ah yes, I guess if I went super specific I would say I’m a Hong Kong-American too.
@Bodhiseeker - hahahaha, nice!
@nimbusthedragon - Seems like you relate a lot! =)
@oxyGENE_08 - Haha yeah, hollywoodfever91 thought you were from the US too
I think these questions depend a lot on context. When people ask where I’m from, I never know how to answer either and I’m white. I’ve just moved so much that it’s hard to answer. Do you want most recent? Where I was born? Where I spent the most time? Where I consider home? And when I simply say “everywhere” I almost always get asked “Oh, military brat?” And it can be a bit frustrating. I can imagine that it would be even more of a problem when it’s about more than just where you live…but who you are. If people have just met you, it’s not really any of their business. If you are friends, then you would think they could ask in a better way. *shrug* I don’t know. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised anymore at the ignorance people have even when they don’t mean to be.
@xx0behindthesmile - I think in your situation, you know they guy a bit. You have formed and are forming a relationship (friendships are relationships, too) and you could easily bring the subject of culture up. I’d think for most people even those that have been in the US for generations, there is often a strong tie to a cultural identity. And if not, it’s not really insulting to assume they might. So, you could easily just start a conversation about cultures and ask if his family has any traditions or cultural practices that mean a lot to him. That shows genuine interest rather than just being nosy, you know?
@airbornerose - Is red hair associated with Ireland? I just see red hair as red hair haha, although I would admit you’re less likely to see a naturally red-haired Asian person.
@Sunrise_Hope_Joy - Yeah, that interview really reminded me I have a lot of opinions on this subject. Not sure if that’s good or not haha
@elvish_fairy - It’s quite fascinating, this subject. I’m sure many, many posts can come out of this from many different people with their unique perspectives.
@ThePrince - Can I borrow that line sometime?
@christao408 - I think for the most part I find myself going down that route anyway. It’s just an interesting observation that some people that really want to know my ethnicity would ask me about it in that way.
@Erika_Steele - Wow, that’s actually pretty rude of people to say when you think about it! Yeah, I think if someone was around when a person asks me that they wouldn’t think I was annoyed either.
@ivorygem - Exactly. I see we are on a similar wavelength!
@Keeko1 - Haha that’s good. It’s not a majority of the people I’ve encounter that would say that to me, but there has been enough instances in the past that I’m used to it now.
@repressedwriter - It’s pretty crazy how complicated such a seemingly simple question can actually be!
i agree with you. i’ve had one too many experiences where people have asked me where i was from, and when i said “america,” they’d play it off as if i got them all wrong… and then ask where my parents were from. xD i don’t like being asked my nationality when people are curious about my ethnicity. but i think what bothers me a lot is that, where i was growing up, it was an assumption among all the asians that american meant being white. :S so there was a lot of backlash in conforming to American traditions and standards in society, because it meant that you didn’t value your own Asian roots. It was just awkward…
@Roadlesstaken - It’s a stereotype. Ireland is actually full of raven-haired people, not red. Red is more Scottish than anything. I am about 10% Scottish and the rest, German. But I get it from my German heritage. It’s also why I’m very pale, have almost no freckles, and have blue eyes.
I tend to hear ‘where were your parents from?’ around here, really. It’s still not perfect, but it’s better than ‘where are you REALLY from?’, which was what I heard > 10 times in Europe. They’re European, FFS. It’s not like they’re unfamiliar with the notion of being born in a country different from your primary ethnicity.
@pcketfulofsunshine - I think the problem is that too often, ‘being American’ = ‘pretend you aren’t Asian’. It’s entirely possible to strike a balance, but people tend to overreact, leading to the bad associations.
@pcketfulofsunshine - Hopefully that type of thought process will fade away as the years past by. It’s getting better now, but we still got some ways to go.
@forgottenrevelations - Interesting to hear about your experiences in Europe. I wonder if I’ll experience that when I visit Europe one of these days.
Yes, people ask me that question a lot, “Where are you from?” My first reply would be, “Do you mean where I was born? Or do you mean, where do I live?” However, I used to say, “I’m from Alameda (city I grew up in).” I guess I get asked the second question a lot, so naturally, I would ask for a clarification of their question. It doesn’t bother me when I get asked that second question, I just don’t want to answer it wrong/misunderstand the question. I identify myself as an Asian-American, however Alex, unlike you, I was born in Vietnam. Maybe that’s why I it doesn’t bother me.
Thank you so much for writing this – I totally agree, and you wrote it better than I could have. I’ve had so many people in the past year ask me where I was from, and I knew what they probably meant, but I would always respond with ” _____” (the state I’m living in now). The look on their faces is one of surprise. I know some people are genuinely curious, and I wish I didn’t get so defensive about answering. Yes, I speak English – I was born in the US, and I’ve lived here my whole life (I’m not directing this towards you, I just wish there was a sign on my forehead that said this).
most of the people i’ve run into ask about ethnicity/heritage or something, albeit rather bumbling
Odd that it has never occurred to me to ask anyone that question, even as an ice breaker. I often ask what they do but never where they’re from.
ahahha funny ! lol
“Why not just ask me what my ethnicity is?”
Spot on, dude. It’s all in the wording for me. Asking me where I’m “from” implies that I’m from somewhere not named America and that’s going to get you a smart-ass reply. Asking what my ethnicity is will result in me gladly telling you what it is: I’m Korean-born, but adopted by Japanese American and Caucasian parents.
I also find it funny that people will assume my mom’s side are the “native Americans” just because my mom is white. My dad’s family immigrated here from Fukuoka, Japan, in 1897. My mom’s family immigrated from Glasgow, Scotland, in the 1890′s. So my Japanese American father has a longer American ancestry than my Caucasian mother.
I totally get what you’re saying because I get that a lot too! Especially when I lived in Florida and worked at the hospital, a lot of the patients I care for would always assumed that I’m Hawaiian or Korean. When I tell them that I’m Hmong, it opens up a whole different can of worms.
Its interesting.
I got the opposite problem. Im a white guy from HK.
People around me seem to believe ill never be more than a white guy… which is true, i guess.
But the racial profiling people casually do on a day to day basis makes me real uncomfortable. Im not ashamed to be another ‘white guy’, just wish color, or even nationality weren’t such a prominent means of people developing their first impressions. Maybe its not important, but I still dont like it.
Cool post…
peace and love
You gotta start fucking with people. Tell them you’re white but you have Jaundice.
On the ethnicity form of applications i will always put: Pacific Islander
Ditto. I get that all the time from my teachers at school (must be because my sister and I were the ONLY Asian in that HS). But instead of asking the following question, they said, “Oh, so you were born here?” Like, wtf?!
Yeah I agree with you on that. People are really ignorant dumbasses.
Once I had someone ask me when I was younger “Where you from?” And I was like “New Jersey.” And he grumbled off “Grr but you have an accent.” Mind you though this was rural New Hampshire so who knows.
I get asked the same question (“Where you from”) when I go abroad to S. America, but it’s over my accent, if I say America, I might get kidnapped oh noes….
@cognney - Ah yeah, that extra detail of yours does make it a bit more accurate to say you’re from Vietnam.
@Sehsun - I’m glad you enjoyed this post! It does seem like a lot of people are in the same boat as us.
@VilaSpiderHawkAuthor - Yeah, the where you’re from question is a bit more complicated to answer than one would think!
@db_11 - How long have you lived there? Do you enjoy it despite those moments of being made uncomfortable? Yeah, it does seem like the fact race is often one of the first things people notice is a factor as to why we talk about it first.
@rb_888 - Good idea! Will do.
@suefa_lee - haha, are they like “what’s Hmong?”
@tokyoexpressman - Crazy how simple wording of a question can result in such a can of worms. I wonder if there will come a point in our lifetime where people don’t automatically connect White = American but not other races as well.
@jeezshoua - Oooo that must have been fun for your sister and you! Did you experience a lot of prejudices and/or stereotypes then?
@HollyGolightly73 - Fortunately there are cures to ignorance, like knowledge!
@RemiBlanco - Do you have an accent? I don’t think I noticed it at the meet.
@Roadlesstaken - Well I guess because I was with my friend at the time who was El Salvadorean and he has a strong accent guess he extrapolated I was accented too?
But nah I don’t think I do? People still are surprised to hear me say I’m from New Jersey. They hear that then say I sound very “proper”. Don’t know? I guess they expect the blowout and the fist bumping while I throw around words like “you’re cabbage” while giving myself a nickname like Remmy B or The Parabola. Dunno.
Btw, not sure if you’ve ever seen this but I loved this. Somewhat (but barely really) relevant to my comment on my own Jersey accent hah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPImlZ7ML3Y
@Roadlesstaken - I sure did, especially from those naive white folks, but I always stood my ground, so no one really messed with me.
Plus, I was really good friends with a few handsome, tall, black football players, so! It works in my favor! Lol.
This was fun to read because I’ve lived around a good mix of people of asian descent and people of caucasian descent all my life. I actually happen to be half asian and caucasian so this was quite annoying for me! Not only do a lot of caucasian Americans ask where I’m from but pretty much every person from every race has asked me all those questions as well… And when I visit Asia, they do it there too! (Or they just awkwardly stare at me.. -.- lol I’ve now learned to interpret it as flattering though haha sometimes, I stare back.)
When I was little I used to get so annoyed because I could never escape these questions from anyone new that I met. I guess it’s because people can’t tell what I am. And I’ve come to the conclusion that people are naturally curious and can’t always phrase things in a way that they know for sure is non-offending. So now that I’m a bit older I sometimes use it as a game. “What do YOU think I am ;]?” I’ve gotten part japanese, korean, chinese, turkish, hawaiian, thai, italian, white, etc. lol. I guess what I’ve learned to do is just make the best out of frustrations.
Lol, I was born and raised in a place that’s like 99% Hispanic, so people used to (and still do when I go home) ALWAYS ask me where I’m from. Being a “wasian,” they never believed I was actually from there. =/
I really wish this issue was pushed more into the mainstream public. I mean, no one goes up to an African-American and hassles them about where they are from if they say ‘I’m from America.’ But its a few bad apples that really upset me at the ignorance in racism towards other minorities. I’ve had people look at me funny- and start talking Chinese accents or asking me if I speak english or even saying things like ‘wow there is a lot of Chinese people in this town.’
BTW, I’m NOT Chinese (though I’m Asian) nor do I dress or speak like a foreigner AND I live in a very modern, very multi-ethnic world-hub of a city; there is absolutely NO excuse as to why this sort of thing should be happening (especially to this extent) in this day and age. Mind you it only happens once in a while but that is still far too often. And it really surprises me when even someone of another minority, like an African-American, will make a racist comment to me insulting Asians and not even think that its racist. YES IT IS. And wow, I can’t believe another minority would do that especially because they must have some connection to being judged as ‘different.’
Have you seen Fakin da funk? Pretty awesome movie – I just stumbled across it recently from 1997….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4i9RUOftLs&feature=related go to 7:24
Black guy to Dante Basco on the basketball courts after they’ve been talking for a while about another basketball player:
Guy: Hey, where you from?
Dante: ATL
Guy: Atlanta, Shizz where you from?
Dante: Atlanta, home of the freak nick.
It’s really refreshing to have that last line and end with of course I’m from there idiot.
I usually say New York. If they press I said parents are from latin america. But I am very clear on the point that I consider myself American, born and bred in the US and I don’t truly identify with anything else. Most people can’t get that thru their heads, but most people are limited idiots anyway.
I know what that’s like. People usually see me and for some reason always think I’m mixed and I’m like mixed what and they don’t know what to say.
It’s funny if I got technical with my origin b/c this is what it would sound like. I was born in Queens, NY but I grew up in Memphis, TN and have now lived in Atlanta for 12 years. My parents are Colombian but of recent European background from Spain and France. I’m technically the 5th generation in the Americas from Spain and France so my great great grandparents moved to South America. Before then, my ancestors lived in the Basque country where apparently they faced troubles with farming also it is known that a great portion of the people who lived in Basque country came from middle eastern countries as well. So really I’m from all over.
Yeah I’ve never really understood the need to know where someone is from. The only time I ask is when it comes up in the conversation as in the other person says something like “I’m going to visit my family in such and such country or state” and if it’s somewhere I’m interested in then I ask if that’s where they are from and tell them my interest.
I know I don’t look like the typical American b/c my hair is dark almost black, my skin tone is a little more olive than the regular pink skin toned American, and so apparently I’m very “exotic.” But again who cares man. I’ve found people to be more apt to asking these questions in the south than anywhere else. And I will just leave it at that haha…
I would love to, especially since I’ve never been to the States! The earliest possible timing from now would be in the later half of next year if I do an exchange at Wharton.. But I think I’ll have to pass since it’s better that I stay in France for my internship applications and potential job interviews in London/Paris during that period. ><;;
You know what? I can’t recall anyone ever asking me where I’m from? I’ve gotten questions like, “Are you from around here?”, “Were you born here?”, “Do you live near here?”, “Wait, you’re Vietnamese? You don’t look it.” That last one gets me because how does a Vietnamese person actually look? Okay, I am mixed Asian, but still.
Haha thats funny
But seriously where are you from REALLY? lol jk 
I’m finding this stance a little perplexing (so sorry).
I don’t think it’s offensive to ask about family roots. Everyone in America, with the exception of Native Americans, has family that immigrated to America from somewhere else.
If someone asks me my heritage — and they usually don’t have to ask, as I frequently bring it up because I’m proud of it – I’m second generation Italian American:)
It’s a beautiful thing that we are a melting pot of all nationalities — and they are obviously not asking if you are Asian-American (since you have Asian characteristics)! They are asking something more interesting: Did your family originally come from Japan, or China or Indonesia, etc. etc. etc. (whities can’t always tell among the dozens of countries and regions).
I’m just speaking for myself, but I think knowing someone’s cultural background is a big part of knowing who they are
Just an example, but I know black people who come from the carribean have something very different to talk about with me than those who lived in the south and came from slave families!
@squeakysoul - what I said above to the poster (except for this addition: I would say there are so many Latin American that I’d say a followup there makes a difference….Argentina, Mexico, Guatamala? I don’t know.. does it feel like an insult that someone is interested in how your family came to be in America? )
@nyfemme - I agree with you. If you look back at my post that’s exactly what I’m saying too; that I’m happy with my heritage and don’t mind talking about it. It’s the issue of when people ask me “where I’m from” and I tell them “I’m from MD/USA” or something they don’t accept that answer. If they’re curious about my family roots or heritage they could ask me that specifically. Do you see what I’m saying?
@Mizlilaznduckie - Oh I’m gonna get you sucka!
@mindfulreflections - Yeah, someone else brought up the idea that perhaps this scenario happens much more often in certain places in the country than others.
@morningmoka - Aw okay. Well if you do find a chance to come by definitely give me a head’s up, especially if coming near DC!
@squeakysoul - You’re fine if someone just ask you what your ethnicity is, in a casual conversation though?
@sjunca - It’s interesting that you say you don’t look like a typical American. How would you describe what a typical American looks like?
omg yes! people do that all the time. it’s so frikkin annoying. one time while at work..and the conversation went something like this…
Customer: Where are you from?
Me (not in a particularly good mood): Canada
Customer: nooo where are you REALLLY from?
Me: Canada, that’s where I’ve been all my live for the past 20 years.
Customer: nooo but you must’ve came from SOMEWHERE?
Me: Toronto? Stouffville hospital?
Customer: Well then you’re PARENTS must’ve been from somewhere.
By then I was so ticked off that another coworker had to fill in for me because I did NOT want to continue that conversation. Seriously why can’t people accept that I’m Canadian just because I’m ‘asian’, I mean it’s not like caucasians don’t immigrate to Canada or the States…everyone moved/immigrated to North America sometime or another unless they were Native American…so they should be more respectful to people of all ethnicities.
@Roadlesstaken - ahh… you don’t like them dancing around it ineptly! Can’t blame you. But I would just give them what they really want to know and excuse their stupid way of saying it. I would like to know the percent of people in this country with iq’s below 125, lol.
@thisisamelia - Ah yes, the guessing game is another fun alternative too =)
@oOo_itsJuJu - Are these just random people that ask you this?
@M - I look forward to more shows/movies that explore this area of Asian-Americans.
@makifu - Haha nice, I recognize that actor!
@S2_ahmui_S2 - Yes, they extend the conversation much longer than it really should. Curious about ethnicity is one thing, but when it gets to the point where it feels like an interrogation than it’s irritating.
@Roadlesstaken - Typical American would be white, blond and blue-eyed. These people usually came from England. I know there really is no “typical” American but that’s the consensus of what Colombians and other Hispanics think Americans look like. Gringos if you will.
I haven’t been asked that in years. But then again, it’s pretty diverse where I live. My brother gets asked that quite a bit. But only when he goes down to the US to visit his colleagues there. It bugs the living daylights out of him.
@Roadlesstaken - haha We’ll see about that! lol
I get it all the time too. From people who are either usually much older or immigrated and want to know if I came from the same place! I also get all tons of guesses as to where I am from, most of the time people guess correctly.
I asked my white boyfriend if he ever gets this question… and it’s never LOL.
I once wrote a blog about this back in 2008. http://ameliahart.xanga.com/652490615/mistaken/ I just talk about people always come up to me and ask me where I’m from!!! And how it can lead to humorous incidents….
people always do that.
like somewhere in america isn’t good enough for themand for some reason, it just feels like racism never dies
I reposted it for your convenience!
I like telling people I’m from the orient
well.. when people ask me if I’m Chinese, sometimes I give them a historical lesson on why “Chinese” is not technically an actual ethnicity lol [only sometimes!]
or other times I confuse them by saying that my dad is ethnic Han and my mother is a mix of Manchu and Mughal
Yeah, I get asked that a lot. So I just say Texas. Being in Georgia right now, that’s a good enough answer for most people. But if they want more, I have to correct them saying something like, “I’m born in Texas. Oh do you mean my ethnicity? Why didn’t you just ask that? I’m Chinese.” Yeah it’s just semantics, but if I can help people be more direct, then I will. Sometimes it’s not worth beating around the bush.
@AmeliaHart - Thanks, I really enjoyed reading that =)
@ElusiveWords - Oh didn’t you say you were going to show a picture of yourself to me? Yup, I think so.
@banZaii_itZ_keIk0o - you might like this article: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0HSP/is_1_6/ai_106647778/. The perpetual foreigner syndrome!
@Ethonox - That works!
@mz_d0rkabl3 - Wait, can you explain to me how Chinese is not technically an ethnicity?
@x_onholiday - do you get asked by that by your peers or older people?
I suppose a lot of white Americans still have this “is he/she one of us?” perspective towards people of other races. I’m first generation Senegalese-American, but people usually assume that I’m afro-american until they hear my name. 100 years ago, the Irish and Italians used to get the same treatment from those who used to be known as the only white Americans ( Pre-Colonial era families who have settled). After a while they were able to assimilate into what is now known as being a white American. Hopefully we can eventually just go back to being people.
Post liked!
People need to get over their perceptions of Asian Americans. That being said, I’ve come to realize I have a lot of those same stereotypes toward other AAs as well. Ironic.
lol interesting..
sometimes other people assume you actually come from another country and think you’re not born int he US (happen to me before).
So true. The worst part is when you know that if it was the other way around, they’ll take it to heart, and won’t give you a break. Oh well. But I love that: Asian-American.
wait. you are not from hong kong? i thought you were born here….
oh wait. i got that all mixed up. doh. but i can see where you are coming from. a lot of times i will tell people i am from michigan and not arkansas, they are always seemingly impressed and surprised i came from that far north.
it’s sad to to say that no matter how many times you get to be asked with such question, the annoyance will never go away. sure, you’ll get to be a pro in answering it after a while but you just can’t help feeling “ARRGH, NOT AGAIN!”
i’m an asian by nationality and so i should have an easier time answering the question BUT as always there are more questions following the first to clarify my answer. the thing is i have lived a great part of my life outside my home country Indonesia and so although technically speaking i’m indonesian by origin, i don’t look like one nor do i feel like one.
by blood, i’m chinese 100%. by residency, i have lived in australia and the east coast of USA for the most part of my life. by language, i don’t speak chinese but not 100% fluent in grammar in both indonesian and english either. i look like chinese but i don’t speak the language. i’m an indonesian but i don’t look like one. i feel more like an asian-american but i’m not an american. to many TRUE indonesians, i’m not one of them. to many TRUE chinese, i’m not one of them. to many asian-americans, i’m not one of them either. so where do i belong? beats me.
so you see bro, you have it EASY.
@Roadlesstaken - That pretty much annoys me too, although I answer it. My ethnicity is something that is almost totally irrelevant to who I am, and it irritates me that because I am darker skinned I have to put up with annoying inquiries about my “background” because it is not understood that I am American.
It’s the same here…”Where are you really from?” gets me quite good…Although, for me, it’s the “North of South Korean?” question that does all good in and offers people a double-fist sandwich.
I would like to add one more thing, however. I know you said that you wish people wouldn’t disregard what was on the other side of the hypen. I wish people WOULDN’T think of a hyphen. For example, if a white person answered “I’m American”, nobody would ask anything after that. But If I answer “I’m American”, people ask “No, but I mean, where are you from really?” What can I say? I’m an idealist, I dream of the time when people don’t ask questions based on your appearance.
@hyunj09 - hm, I meant to say North or South Korean…not of.
I usually say I’m from Maryland also…but I also go to school out of state, so that’s usually what’s being asked. If they want to know my ethnicity, they tend to say “What is your ethnic background?”, which is an appropriate way to address the issue. I usually ask other Asians “What kind of Asian are you?”
It doesn’t really bother me though. I think I look pretty Chinese, so most people can tell. Except the occasional Korean mother for some reason (you’d think they could tell I’m not more than non-Asians can).
@Elimane - Being people…yes, I agree. I think the term that refers to what you describe is called the perpetual foreigner syndrome.
@chix0rgirl - Fortunately if we are able to recognize those errors in thought process we have a chance to change it for the better!
@H0Eass - Yup, the perpetual foreigner syndrome (that’s apparently what it’s called)
@nov_way - I wonder what would happen if I ask somebody white where they’re really from haha.
@Momma2babies34 - what makes that fact surprising to people?
@rudyhou - Haha no contest here! I think sometime I will also write about acceptance from the other side as well; from those of my Asian heritage who think I’ve been tainted by being American.
@hyunj09 - I actually agree with you. That hyphen shouldn’t even really be necessary, but in our current world it does seem to be stated.
@vicdaily - I get that too from a lot of older Koreans!
Hmm it’s tricky I’m naturally quite curious and would be tempted to ask just such a question, but i can see how it might come across as offensive.
What would be the best way to approch it if you just wanted to know? get to know the person for a bit first or just ask in a different way?
@BFB1131 - I would just say “what’s your ethnicity?” That’s a simple enough, neutral way of asking.
@Roadlesstaken - Yes! Random people off the streets, actually! I’m like wth? Then they get super pissed when I tell them I’m not fluent in Spanish. Lol.
I don’t get that question a lot. I get questions such as “what are you?”.
Which i find a little annoying because then they usually ask me to speak in my language or say their name in my language.
@dep_gee - Oh yeah, forgot about that question! I’ve gotten that before, as well as “Where’s your home?” referring to my ethnicity’s country haha. Yeah, seems like these type of comments are pretty prevalent.
yeah seriously! this topic is always new, i just feel like Asian-Americans are just gonna explode onto the media in a totally new way, this may not particularly relate but lately online all these break through artists, speakers, musicians, you name it that are Asian-American are breaking barriers for typical beliefs when you think of Asians. Maybe it deals with immigration because Asians(I believe, don’t quote me on this) are the most new to arrive to America? I’m not sure, I should research thoroughly on that statement, but I always found it weird that such special attention is made and special characterization is made for Asian-Americans that people often forget as you said the other side of the hyphen. Pretty awesome you got interviewed and maybe will we see it?
@xxLilPauliexx - Yeah, I wonder if she’ll post up some of the interview up later. I said a lot haha
Ah, I get asked that occasionally. It was actually born in Hong Kong so it’s easy for me to answer and not get questioned about it, but I moved to Canada when I was one so it’s a lot easier to call it my home. I find it a lot less awkward sometimes to simply ask where someone’s family is from if I’m actually curious about their ethnicity. I ask purely out of curiously – sometimes it’s just hard to tell! I would never ask a follow-up question though!
@mizz_chan - Yeah, your way makes more sense than the way some people go about it.
haha sure! i’ll have your no. on my speed dial if i’m there! *just teasing*
Whenever I want an accurate answer to that question I ask, “So where were you born?”
@CareyGLY - Yes, that’s a better question!
So true! Dang…white people these days >.>
@aznspartan94 - I’ve actually been asked that by all different type of races, funny enough. Even Asian people.
The funny thing is, a lot of asian families actually came to north america many generations ago (in canada at least, they built the railroads!). There’s been a lot of racial issues going on though lately, America and China really don’t seem to get along.
@AzureRecollections - Man, if there’s ever a war between China and US that’s gonna suck for Asian folks over here!
Agreed!
Today I had lunch in chinatown, with my half-chinese son. The chinese lady that runs the place (who happens to be from Hong Kong) actually asked ME, where I was really from. She said, “what is your nationality?” Which I kind of got a kick out of.
@sahel578 - So she thought you were maybe from Hong Kong?
In general, I think it’s pretty rude to ask someone their ethnicity. (I find it to be even MORE rude when the question is asked right at the beginning of meeting each other. Some people think it’s such a “great” conversation starter. I think otherwise.) I find it more bothersome than most people in that I don’t think a n y o n e should be asking such a question. It seems to me that Asians & Pacific Islanders think it’s a given OK to ask fellow Asians & Pacific Islanders their ethnic backgrounds. Honestly now, how much are you really going to learn about the other person if you think you know what’s up after knowing that person’s ethnicity based on previous experiences with that race or worse, stereotypes of that race? That’s just how I feel. It’s not just Caucasians – it’s everyone as a whole that I believe shouldn’t be asking such a question. And yeah, I’ve gotten the “where are you from?” and I DO answer it similarly to you and I DO get unhappy reactions for the person(s) asking the question, but I really can’t help it. Heck, if I care enough to talk to you w/o giving a care as to what race you are, then you should do the same to me. Lately, I’ve been getting asked this question by non-Caucasians, though and that, I find to be more bothersome for some reason. If race is an important factor in getting to know someone, then the “curious” person should attempt to get to know the other person well enough until the other person starts sharing his/her culture/ethnic background/motherland/blah blah. That’s just how I think and feel about this.
Edit: I just wanted to add that it’s the “What are you?” question that I get more often than the “Where are you from?” question. Either way, when they ask “Where are you from?”, they are usually going towards the “What are you?” question since they were hoping to receive a country outside of America for an answer.
Oh definitely, I don’t think it should be one of the first questions you should ask. Perhaps maybe after a little while, but not right away. I like the perspective you’re giving on how people think they can derive ideas based on your ethnicity. There’s more to us than that, but unfortunately our ethnicity is one of the first thing people will notice.
Yes, the “what are you” question. I haven’t gotten that much, but when I have it does annoy me more than the “where are you” question.