October 25, 2010
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If I Die Young…
I think I almost fell asleep at the wheel this weekend. I normally pride myself for being exceptionally good at staying awake and alert while driving, but it looked like the combination of playing tennis, lack of sleep, getting up at the crack of dawn, setting up and greeting people at a big conference, and the long drive there and back was too strong for me. I tried to snap out of it by chanting “WAKE UP WAKE UP FOCUS FOCUS!!” over and over again to myself, but I continued to drift off. Fortunately, I was able exit the highway and find a big parking lot where I was able to nap before proceeding on the rest of my journey.
That was probably the closest I have ever come to that happening and it made me think. What if I had fallen asleep at the wheel and crash, injuring or even killing myself in the process? That would not have been favorable, to say the least.
This reminded me that I have yet to write down what I would want to see happen after my death, in terms of a funeral or viewing. I need to remind myself to write a proper will in the near future, but for now here are my wishes for how I want my funeral/viewing carried out if the unforeseeable were to happen.
To my family: A small private family funeral would be nice to have. Nothing too fancy please! I don’t need to be put in an expensive suit and casket, so just find a good deal somewhere (I heard Costco has some low priced caskets, so maybe get one there). Besides that, do whatever you think is right to do. I don’t need everyone to say something for me at the funeral. I know how hard it is for certain people to express their feelings, so I won’t feel disrespected if you don’t say something. Just thinking it would be enough.To all my friends and anyone else that cared for me: A bigger, more public viewing would be awesome to have with you all. The most important thing I want from this viewing is that you make sure it’s more like a celebration than a funeral. I’m serious! Make it like a toast or roast instead. Talk about the good times, the funny times, the silly times, and other memorable moments you’ve had with me (do me a favor though and hold off on some of the uber embarrassing memories please). Show some of my pictures and videos on a big screen while you’re at it so people have something visual to see. My viewing better not be boring or else I’m coming back to haunt you all! Just kidding. Anyway, I’m sure some tears are inevitable, but I want to see much more smiles and laughter all around people! It is how I would like you all to remember me. I hope a lot of you can make it. It would mean a lot to know I touched so many people during the time I was here.
Oh, one last thing. Don’t you forget about me, alright?
FYI: Just want to remind you I’m still very much alive as of right now haha, so no worries (at least not yet! Dun dun dun). Hopefully we don’t have to plan for this event until the way, way distant future.
Comments (86)
That is a scary experience! I’m glad you’re safe and sound and definitely keep gum in your car. The chewing will help you stay awake…
…Never. do that. again. My mom fell asleep at the wheel once and hit a truck. Luckily she wasn’t hurt and it was at a low speed.
I think having a celebration of someone’s life is always the way to go
. No point crying over spilt milk but best to appreciate that we had the pleasure of knowing people in the first place.
But you’re not dying yet D: we haven’t met. What would be of our love if you were to die now? </3. (You never know, in the future maybe both of us will turn gay.)
That is SO scary! I’m glad you were safe. This is every mother’s nightmare! (One of them anyways.) It was VERY smart to get off the road and nap for a bit. Please be careful…we need you around here a LOT longer!
I think it’s important to think about how we want our funeral/memorial to be….and to tell somebody about it now. ‘Cause we just never know how long we’ll be here.
I’ve told my kids they are to throw a party. I want lots of music and laughter. I want them to celebrate my life, not mourn my death. I told them if I don’t get the party, I’m coming back to haunt them.
So hopefully the people in our lives will follow our wishes and we won’t have to haunt them. 
I will remember you, “Kid”. In my short time knowing you on Xanga, you’ve brought smiles into my life. Thank you!
BTW: Only the good die young. So I never had to worry about dying young.
i want some tears! lol
I was actually just thinking about the same thing yesterday (I think because I was listening to this one song that I just one day decided I wanted played at my funeral lol) and wondering at what age would people flip out about someone being too young to consider actually doing their will ya know… Anyway, I’m glad you’re ok (I got the sleepy-driver curse from my dad, so I’ve learned to be very careful about it) and hope that no one will have need to heed any of this in the near future!
I drive while tired all the time. I usually pack candy/mints in my car and use them if I start feeling sleepy. I’ll pull over somewhere if I feel like I can no longer handle the drive.
But yeah, if you died… I think I’d forget about you pretty quick.
Kidding. =P
Of course not.
I don’t forget about you. Never will =) Btw, wow that’s a scary experience and totally happy you’re safe *sigh*
… Just get some more sleep, silly. And less of the death talk.
I was hoping to actually meet you alive first.
No worries though, your legacy lives on here.
Oh, and some of us kinda think you’re awesome so it’s cool.
This is a good idea. I might do one too, because who knows, people drop like flies everyday. I’m glad you’re safe, hopefully the experience will help you stay awake in the future. I’m proud of you for pulling off and napping, so many are ‘too proud’.
You know, I think most people would rather their friends and relatives looked upon the past with a smile at the funeral or viewing. And there’s a time for that. But really, in all seriousness, the hard part for the people you leave behind is learning to accept a reality they don’t want–the reality that they are living life without you. It’s painful. Think about the last time you broke up with a girl and multiply that by a thousand. It hurts. And even though our deaths may be a “parting on good terms” with everyone, it still hurts. It’s great to remind the people we love that our purpose on earth wasn’t to make lots of people cry when we died. It’s great to remind people that our purpose on earth was to be a help, be a contributor, be the difference we longed to see in the world and all that. But don’t for a minute think that people who care about you will be able to reconcile themselves to your permanent absence in a matter of days. They won’t be able to assimilate the pain of missing your presence that quickly–we human beings are made to process the shock of such things slowly.
And speaking from a practical p.o.v., it’s good to tell people what elements of your funeral would be important to you. It’s good to tell people what to do with your stuff. And it’s REALLY good to leave behind letters for the most important people, telling them what you love/appreciate about and hope for them. Of course, you should do that while you’re alive anyway, but having the tangible evidence makes for a huge bit of comfort.
Just some thoughts. Grief has been a theme for me this past year. So yeah.
~V
That’s why I don’t drive myself to work…I’d be dead by now if I do. O_o I work the night shift & coming to work and going home is a struggle for me to stay awake. I already missed my stop a couple of times in the past…imagine if I was driving. O_o
Maybe your ghostly self can come visit me if the unfortunate happens…at least I can say I’ve met RLT! jk
Get some sleep!
I’ve done that–Taken a nap at a rest stop parking lot because I was afraid I’d wreck my car. And as I was drifting off I suddenly became afraid of rest stop rapists.
Once I almost wrecked because I was driving on the highway and eating a donut at the same time, lol. I decided the bear claw just wasn’t worth it.
I fell asleep on the wheel after coming back from a late night party. Luckily for me, the freeway was empty and I bounced off the guard rail curb, waking me up in the process. The only damage sustained was just a scratched up rim!
Lesson learned.
I also know this other guy who actually flew off the freeway and into some trees. Had to crawl out and made his way to a nearby house for help.
This is altogether too scary. I’ve done it once or twice and yes, it does really make you think. I’ve pulled over plenty of times to nap a bit before I continue on with the journey. Glad you were able to do that also! Remain safe. ~Pang
Gosh, what a depressing topic…that is so dangerous! Glad nothing happened though.
Dying young is a very real possibility, and I guess it’s rather reasonable to have a will ready…depressing :/
Awe Alex, I’m glad you’re safe and nothing crazy happened when you were falling asleep. I’ve been in your position and boy is it not fun to wonder how you got 25 miles till the next town and you are just waking up and you were driving. XD
Well it wasn’t that bad I hope lol.
Btw I think if you died there would have to be a xanga funeral/viewing/party/toast/roast. My favorite funeral scene in a movie is from Elizabethtown where Susan Sarandon does a stand up comedy at her husband’s funeral and a tap dance. And then her nephew sings free bird with his band XD
My best friend fell asleep at the wheel but somehow he managed to exit the freeway and pull over to the side of the road. He didn’t remember how he did it but he did wake up when he saw the flashing police lights. Apparently the cop saw him swerving a little and pulled him over but my friend must’ve been drifting in and out of consciousness because he did pull over, just doesn’t remember it
.
In both cases, I’m just very happy that both of you are all right
.
Its happened to me before, luckily I was woken up by the rumble strips.
I’m glad you’re still alive and safe. Good thinking on your funeral ideas. When I had my scare with my liver 2yrs ago I told my family what I wanted. I told them I wanted a comedian to do my eulogy with all my family and friends giving the person material to say. No one wearing black unless that’s the best way you feel. I wanted Qdoba to cater it and all my favorite songs playing in the background. None of that churchy stuff. I also told them i want to be buried naked. I sleep naked so I should be buried just like I sleep. I told them I want my blue bear, Rufus with me because I’m selfish and I don’t want it given to charity or some family member. I don’t know if they will do that one but the others they said they would try to do.
Ohhh my ALex bro be careful atleast drink red bull or something but I’m glad you are okay & I agree with Gene I don’t drive myself to school I hate mornings grr
i’m glad you’re ok though man. please do be careful next time!
I’m glad you pulled over to rest. I’ve been close to dozing off a couple of times even with the window wide open, radio blaring and hard slapping on the thigh. I think I would want something similar. There’s no need to spend $$$ on my funeral – I just want something simple followed by a get together with lots of laughter, good memories being shared and hugs all around.
Although I’ve never met you, I’m glad that I’ve at least bumped into you here in this virtual world. You’ve made Xanga a better place for a lot of folks. Thank you.
The thought of dying young is scary stuff. Glad you’re doing ok.
yikes be careful! my dad fell asleep and crashed into a tree a couple months ago -.-
and your xanga subscribers would be worried if we saw no more posts from you forreal
I’m so glad that you are okay! Be safe!
I’m exactly like you when it comes to how i think a public viewing should be with friends or family. If for some reason i died at a young age (or any age for that matter) I would want my funeral to be more of a FUN-eral. it should be able celebrating the good in a person while they were alive, not just mourning the loss.
I don’t think it’s possible to forget you
Glad you’re safe!
wow, this is oddly ominous
Whenever we come home from weekend trips, my dad always gets a little dozy behind the wheel. It’s funny and scary at the same time.
You need a companion by your side when you’re driving in case anything happens.
I actually thought your 5th paragraph was really sweet, even though at my funeral, i’ll be expecting a lot of weeping, crying, and “oh, why didn’t i–?” ‘s bouncing around here and there. laughing and celebrating? not allowed. and i expect to be forgotten in a few months. but take it easy out there. crashing has repercussions on the people around you too, including the driver you could have crashed into.
Stay cold if you think you’re going to fall asleep – it kind of keeps you awake (=
I know you’re not dead, or dying, but…-hugs- I think it’ll be hard to forget someone like you
I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve had a close call also. They are scary
I like how you said you wanted your viewing to be more of a celebration 
Try to stay alive so we can hang out next week :p I’ll also be in DC on the 20th-21st so we should try to hang out then too!!
Knock on wood. I have to always be in the car when my mom’s driving long distance at night to keep her awake.
I’ve had this talk with my parents before, and they both thought I was barking mad. I personally felt better getting that off my chest. It’s nice knowing that things will be carried out exactly the way you would want them to if you died all of a sudden.
It was a smart move to get off the highway and take a nap btw. A lot of people don’t do that.
You Asian child, you. COSTCO!? LOL. That made me giggle.
@Utoppia@datingish - Oh right! I should have thought of that. I actually do have gum but forgot I had it.
@Coffee_Kaioken - Yeah it’s a scary thing. I’ve had a couple friends run off the road, but thankfully not seriously hurt.
@whoosh90 - Do you really want us both to turn gay?
@adamswomanlost - I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other on here. You’re a great blogger, so I hope you don’t leave anytime soon. Yes, we shall haunt people together!
@s_h_a_sha - Of course you would, you evil girl.
@webofsimplicity - What song did you have in mind? I haven’t figured out a good song for my funeral yet
@fLiPgUy31O - Geeeez fine, I’m going to take back what I was planning on leaving for you!
@fabolousclown - @SodomyClown - I appreciate it =)
@eternal_relevance - Yes, we should meet sometime before I’m dead. If not, I’ll try my best to haunt you, but that’s not guaranteed.
@crazypassions - Yeah, I was debating if I can get back home under my condition but I figured better safe than sorry. Not like I had anything planned that night.
@TheMarriedFreshman - Definitely, I don’t think people will be chipper at my funeral, but perhaps stay light hearted. Ahh sorry to hear you have been dealing with that stuff a lot this year. Does make one think a lot about their life.
way to harsh my vibe, man
@oxyGENE_08 - Hmm probably would be easier for me to travel to you as a ghost. Definitely a lot cheaper.
@Lynn1013 - I was sorta nervous about people bothering me as I slept, so I made sure to park in the middle of a big parking lot!
@eman - Yikes man! Btw, do you have a Xanga?
@Provides_Fiber - This was the first time I felt I really needed to pull over. I definitely was super tired! I’ll be prepared for it to come the next time I’m that tired and I drive.
@a_drunken_cellist - It’s a sad topic, but important to discuss in case something bad were to happen. At least now people know my wishes!
@indiechaos - I’ve seen that movie but for some reason I can’t recall that scene. I like the funeral scene from Big Fish. Remember that one?
@cal_islander - Did your friend get a ticket?
@Agent_Eric - Yeesh. Good thing you drifted to the side of the road and not into a car
@sw33tw3asl3 - Wowzers quite specific! Would you want it to be an open or closed casket?
@hollywoodfever91 - I should have picked up a red bull or some type of drink before driving. Next time!
@ThePrince - I made the right choice this time right? I’ll just work on ways to prevent the tiredness beforehand next time.
@ElusiveWords - Perhaps one day we will have a chance to meet up in the real world, yeah?
@ItIsAllGravy - It is, and yet it’s quite the real possibility.
@jhesyka - Hopefully one of my close friends would be able to write a message on my site letting people know the situation =/
@ch10n9 - Btw, if I were to die you have my permission to log into my Xanga and write what happen. Oops, that probably didn’t help your vibe haha…
@AmyC0987 - haha FUNeral. Nice!
@alltimelow22 - I hope I can leave some legacy that can stay around for a while!
@nepenthium - DUN DUN DUN! (dramatic reverb)
@twentyse7enn - does somebody else take over driving then??
@Keeko1 - Oh of course. Unfortunately that doesn’t always work out to where I can have someone with me.
@pcketfulofsunshine - Yeah, scary to think how many drivers out there are driving while sleepy. Pretty dangerous!
@babixling - Really? For me, I think being cold would make me more sleep X_X
@lilxwunxnxluv - =) that’s good to know
@HeLLo_Bianca - the 20th-21st of November?
@xchinkylaydee - As long as I’m well rested the night before I’m good. This past weekend though did not allow me that.
@CuaSo - what kind of things did you tell your parents you wanted? Is it like mine?
@snapeful - Hey you know my Asian parents would like to get it there! Costco seriously does sell caskets btw.
@Roadlesstaken - I mentioned that I wanted to be cremated and tossed into the ocean. I also made it very clear that not a single one of my journals is to be opened and read, but instead, all of them must be burnt along with me. Apparently my parents found that very morbid.
You could also have taken out somebody else’s life… glad you pulled over.
I may not comment all that much but I think you’re a really cool person.
Yep
Glad you’re okay!
I have too thought bout my funeral or if I died…during my moments of driving home late at night. Yes, I do want people to be happy and celebrate the good times….have good jason mraz or hawaiian music being played instead of sad violin music.
Take care of yourself alex! get some rest! and don’t stay out so late..
@Roadlesstaken - You know, it’s weird. I’d never every thought about music for my funeral. But the first time I heard the song “Heavenly Day” by Patty Griffin, I thought “I want that played at my funeral” lol… and I don’t really know why, I just do.
@Roadlesstaken - I’m not sure I’ve seen that movie. I think I’m getting Big Fish confused with I am Reed Fish.
wow good that nothing was happened……
hm….I’ve told my best friends that no funeral for me, and if possible just bring my ashes back to HKG and dump into the Victoria Harbour…….
For my funeral, I am requesting to have a “Going Away Party” because I am not just dead. I went home. We are all gonna meet someday again.
Glad you are ok!
Ya gotta be careful while driving while tired..it’s happened to me before..I got really tired and parked in a nearby parking lot and took a long nap after work. Always important to get a good night sleep before getting behind the wheel.
That was a very scary & dangerous experience. I’m glad you’re safe. My husband often feels sleepy when driving in the afternoons and I’d keep talking to him just to keep him awake in case I am with him. Hope you guys will always be be careful.
It seems weird to be thinking about these things, but yes, I think it’s important to think about them and write them down incase anything out of the blue happens. I always think about writing a proper will also, like what I want done with my money and stuff… but, good for you for having such an open mind =) I don’t even know you, but I just might come to your viewing hahaa. *knock on wood.
I couldn’t care what my funeral was like, throw me in a hole for all I care. I’m dead, so I will lack the ability to care. Having said that, I understand its important for family n’ friends to have a ceremony of some sort to mourn. I think the whole traditional process is wasteful of money and resources, and the law shouldn’t force people to follow ridiculous standards. Anyways, you should really avoid driving when tired. Its not just your life you’re putting in danger.
Everything can wait, nothing is as important as your life! Take care!
I just had to read this weblog … We don’t think too much of the reality of that happening and taking it as seriously as we should be because we don’t know when we’re going to go or how we’re going to go.
I have yet to meet you so …. don’t go [anywhere where I will not be able to meet up with you] yet. =P
Come to think of it, I’ve never written any of this down either.
@karos - Oh no worries, I appreciate the time you come by each time =)
@retarded_beautiful - You weren’t tired when you drove my brother back home…right??
@agmhkg - Hmm ashes would be cheaper than a casket. Maybe I’ll go that route too.
@mindfulreflections - @Shades_of_Athena - Yuppers, for now… =O
@Momma2babies34 - Ah that’s a nice way to go about it
drive carefully
@nooitzben - Indeed. I almost decided to pull over the side of the highway, but didn’t wanna be woken up by the police or something haha
@icapillas - If I had someone to talked to I probably wouldn’t have drifted off. Too bad we don’t always have the luxury of having someone with us.
@Regikiu - Haha well thanks for RSVP. Hopefully you won’t have to attend anytime soon.
@Spectrophile - Funerals are way too expensive. I don’t want my family to deal with money issues plus the lost of me!
@dorinmouss - Yes, living is favorable =)
@HeartLUST - haha okay. Hurry up with meeting me then! Never know what will happen.
@TheCheshireGrins - yeah, I don’t think a lot of us do around our age. We still think we got quite some time until we have to worry about it.
@vsan79 - I normally do =)
@Roadlesstaken - oh, I like sleeping when I’m warm so people always tell me to roll down my window if I’m about to fall asleep. I also have friends that call me if they are about to fall asleep at the wheel, it may be multitasking but they stay awake.
@Roadlesstaken - No, my dad doesn’t want/trust my mom driving long distances. Even when we drive to New Jersey, he’s the one behind the wheel.
._.
I fell asleep at the wheel once and lucky for me there was a median strip in the middle of the road that I bounced against or I would have been in the other lane. I hate to think what would have happened. I’m glad you pulled off and took a nap.
PS For my funeral I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered off the beach at Waikiki. I love that place so much.
You are hilarious. A complete crack.
@ikaika53562 - Yeah I’m thinking more and more being cremated might be a nice cheaper way to go about it.
@shatterFocus - because I’m talking about what to do after my death?? =(
@Roadlesstaken - Yes, exactly because of that.
@shatterFocus - btw, your vamp pic is up on my latest post =)
No one could forget you. You are too sweet.
@johnny_hopkins - That means a lot =)
Ahh. I’ve thought about my funeral too! How i want the ceremony to be like and a list of songs to play at my funeral. My friends thinks I’m crazy when I randomly tell them to remind my grandkids I want a particular song to be played at my funeral haha!
@tollyyjoy - Hmm I still haven’t figured out what song I want at my funeral. However, I do know some songs I want at my wedding!
@Roadlesstaken - Ahhh that! I’ve some must-plays too
share share!
dude this was a depressing post. but i’ve already started writing my ghetto non-legit Will sooooo….it’s understandable. do WHATEVER you must next time to stay awake!!!
@zaichik - Haha wait til you see my next post; it will show how exactly I stayed awake this past weekend!
(!) Glad you’re okay! That is quite frightening…but I totally do the same thing. One time I tried exiting at one place, and there was nothing around except a juvenile correction center…so I just had to keep driving. ><!
@phosphor_stars - That could be safe! You got guards around =P