March 7, 2010
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XangaSecret: Volume IX
Can you believe that we’re at nine volumes now? That’s pretty crazy! I’m glad people are really enjoying these videos, although I have been wondering if I should end this series once it hits an even ten. I guess we’ll have to to find out next time what I will decide on this matter. Whatever the case may be, I am pretty positive I will do something special for the 10th volume of XangaSecret. Stay tuned!
Until then, here’s XangaSecret: Volume IX. I’m bringing back Matt‘s music for this one. Just want to give you all a heads up that this volume is a bit darker than usual:
RE: I wish I could say I come to Xanga to get inspired, but I find very little here inspirational.
“Be the change you want to see.” -theacematt2
RE: The girl of my dreams doesn’t even look as good as HisKeiki. She is amazingly gorgeous.
“I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you personally! That’s so sweet and flattering. If I could hug you I would!!!” -HisKeiki
RE: I feel like killing myself so I won’t waste my parents’ money, I won’t be a burden to my friends and so my significant other can find someone he truly deserves. I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. I just haven’t gather up the courage…yet.
“Woah woah woah. Stop right there. You have parents, you have friends AND you have a SO. Why oh why would you want to kill yourself? You already have so much. I don’t mean to be blunt but you will ruin your parents, friends and SO’s life by killing yourself. I bet they don’t always show that they love you but they do, and you clearly love them too for the way you talk about them. Your loved ones are going to be spending the rest of their lives wondering where they went wrong with you, it’s a feeling that is beyond desribable. Please think twice about doing this, there are people out there who love you. If you ever want to talk, you know my username now ^^” -Pink_TeaCups
RE: I hate the way I have so many secrets over just one website.
“Same same same same! My friends think I’m weird for that, and it makes for awkward conversations….but I still can’t stop >.<” -noree_n
RE: I don’t have any real friends. Sometimes I look to Xanga for comfort, since it’s so easy to make friends. But then I realize those relationships aren’t real either. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere…But I like it here.
“I understand how you feel about this. I don’t have any real friends, either, because I’m just too introverted. I’m sure there are many people who just aren’t socially adept; it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you or that you don’t belong.” -wtf_turmoill
“I wonder what’s wrong with me all the time too, even now. I don’t feel belong anywhere. And when I try to fit in, all I get are rejections and piled up disappointments. I envy those who have friends who genuinely care about them, for I have none. Sometimes I think people wouldn’t even notice if I fall off Earth’s surface. Or even if they do, I presume nobody would give two hoots about it.” -missunderappreciated
RE: I haven’t spoken to my father in almost ten years. When people tell me I should make up with him before it’s too late, I say indifferently, he had his chance to be a father and he threw it away. This bothers other people more than it’s ever bothered me.“I hadn’t spoken to mine in so many years I can’t count. I blamed him for us not talking, said he shouldn’t have walked away when I was younger, told myself that I’d never speak to him, that I hated him. He did in a car accident last month. I was wrong about all of that. I do care, you DO care & sometimes you just have to suck it up & reach out to people, be the better person, tell them you love them, tell them how they feel. That way, if something does happen, the guilt & regret isn’t all on you.” -nothing4ever66
RE: I have so much respect for my one teacher. He has taught me so much more than any class I have ever taken, has been there for me when I’ve never felt so lost in my life, and is the most caring, hilarious guy in the world. I’m going to be heart broken when this semester ends because he’s like a second father to me. I think once I graduate I want to tell him all these things because he’s really changed my life.
“I had a teacher like that in high school. He redefined learning for me, and despite my dropping out with a drug & alcohol problem, continued to talk to me and teach me as a person, not a student number or just a name on his role sheet. He was, and is, a wealth of inspiration. We’ve stayed friends and go out to lunch once or twice a year (five years later). I think most teachers want to be influential in their students’ lives. Say something, no bad could come of it.
” -milfncookies
RE: I was seriously depressed for three years…suicidal, actually. I wish I could pour out my heart so you all could know I am being torn to pieces inside. I fight it, though, because I’m strong.
“Telling someone how you’re feeling is one if the bravest things you can do. It shows you aren’t afraid.” -danielle_thexdino
RE: To all those with suicide-related secrets.
“I’ve been there, it’s rough. I do believe it gets better, though. So press onward. If you need to talk, I’ll be here to talk. If you need resources, there are some i could recommend, some that helped me. (For starters, I’d say check recoveryourlife.com)” -Galbsadi—————————————————————————————————————
As usual, I will post up more of your replies to the current volume’s secrets as they come. Feel free to leave some more anonymous secrets below. There’s a good chance you’ll see them in a video in the near future! For more information on how to submit a secret and how this all works, check out some of the previous XangaSecret posts:What’s Your XangaSecret?
XangaSecret: Volume I and Volume II
XangaSecret: Volume III and Volume IV
XangaSecret: Volume V and Volume VI
XangaSecret: Volume VII
XangaSecret: Volume VIII (Love and Heartache Edition)P.S. You will probably enjoy checking out PostSecret as well (the main inspiration for this video project).
Comments (145)
OMG OMG *watches* First comment ohhh yeah IM SAD =D
there was a lot of suicide ones (none of them were mine) but my heart goes out to all of them because i’m in the same places as them I’m struggling through everyday too it’s been hell the past 8 years for me
@Pink_TeaCups - buttwipe I wanted to be first!
Yay, Alex… thanks for compiling these. I get excited whenever you put a new one up… you do such a good job… and I think the project shows that we really are more alike than we’d thought.
Wonderful as always
“I feel like killing myself so I won’t waste my parents money, I won’t be a burden to my friends and so my significant other can find someone he truely deserves. I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. I just haven’t gathered enough courage, yet.”
Woah woah woah. Stop right there. You have parents, you have friends AND you have a SO. Why oh why would you want to kill yourself? You already have so much. I don’t mean to be blunt but you will ruin your parents, friends and SO’s life by killing yourself. I bet they don’t always show that they love you but they do, and you clearly love them too for the way you talk about them. Your loved ones are going to be spending the rest of your life wondering where they went wrong with you, it’s a feeling that is beyond desribable. Please think twice about doing this, there are people out there who love you. If you ever want to talk, you know my username now ^^
just saw this on youtube… haha glad i am subscribed on that so i can see this ahead of time.
@raggedydoll - *laughs in your face*
that background music was absolutely amazing
great job, as always.
@Pink_TeaCups - -looks around for adam, doesn’t see him, gives you noogies-
re: i hate the way I have so many secrets over just one website
same same same same! My friends think I’m weird for that, and it makes for awkward conversations….but I still can’t stop >.<
very cool
Matt’s song belongs in Final Fantasy XIII. haha
@raggedydoll - *punches you in the face.*
@Pink_TeaCups - -glasses break, cries like the little pussy that I am-
meanie elle
Oops… Alex, my reply has a typo. I meant “spend the rest of their lifes” woopsie
please don’t think any less of me.
@raggedydoll - WIN
Some people just want to die so that they don’t have to deal with problems in life. I wish it weren’t so
@Pink_TeaCups - fail, you can edit comments
@raggedydoll - well I meant coz he’s put it in the blog, and I can’t edit that, silly girl.
@Pink_TeaCups - whatever womannnnn
btw are you supposed to be busy?
There’s a lot of suicidal people this time. How much I wish they didn’t feel that way.
“I don’t have any real friends. Sometimes I look to Xanga for comfort, since it’s so easy to make friends. But then I realize those relationships aren’t real either. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me.
Maybe I don’t belong anywhere… But I like it here.”
I understand how you feel about this. I don’t have any real friends, either, because I’m just too introverted. I’m sure there are many people who just aren’t socially adept; it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you or that you don’t belong.
sad secrets always make me all depressed.
I end up speechless after these videos.
Many of these secrets were so sad.
So many suicidal-like confessions…. =/
@Pink_TeaCups - Fixed your typo. Both, actually (I’m sure you meant “lives”, not “lifes” =P)
@raggedydoll - There were quite a lot of suicide-related secrets. I only picked a few of them for now, but I certainly have more left.
@Passionflwr86 - Exactly. There’s more that connects us than divides.
@Manstration - @alltimelow22 - @bigaslives - Thank you
@sonychak - Cheater!
@fLiPgUy31O - I was trying to pinpoint why exactly I liked this song! Thanks for pointing that out.
@aznspartan94 - @xchinkylaydee - Same here, same here.
@snapeful - Yeah, definitely quite a lot of bitter in this one, but there’s some sweetness to counter.
@throughsamseyes - Is that a good thing?
@karen0z - Not too surprising if you think about it. Most of the things we keep in are things we’re kind of embarrassed about or worried to say in fear others would judge.
@Keeko1 - Sad thing is I could have probably made at least half of this video contain suicide-related secrets, but I figured that would have been overload.
1:54 sounds like me
good to know I’m not alone
good work alex, as always
@Roadlesstaken - yes! some!
oh btw, i can’t reply to the thing you asked about. messages are malfunctioning, or something.
oh dang, some of these were pretty sad. I only wish I could relate because I’ve never struggled ever in my life. /sarcasm
@nepenthium - Wait, so is our friendship fake? =(
@snapeful - Hmm I see I see. Well, you can always text!
@wonderland7386 - Wow really?!?! You’re so lucky! =P
@Roadlesstaken - e-friendship is real
i hope you do more than 10
. See you Friday
@Roadlesstaken - oh basically i said it’s really difficult thinking of them XD
I can’t believe that so many people want to commit suicide. Those secrets make me really sad.
i’ve never watched your XangaSecret videos before.. this is the first time. most of them are really sad… don’t we have any happy secrets? :
This video is a bit depressing. I wish I could give those people a hug.
I can relate to one post!
“I don’t have any real friends.
Sometimes I look to Xanga for comfort, since it’s so easy to make
friends. But then I realize those relationships aren’t real either.
Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me.
Maybe I don’t belong anywhere… But I like it here.”
@Yohkom - Next weekend will be fun!
@shadowsandsorrow - It is. Hopefully that last suicide-related secret reaches out to them.
@jing116 - There are. There were a good amount of happier secrets in this one like the one about HisKeiki. The very first video had quite a lot of fun ones if I recall.
so sad a lot of it.
It’s sad because I know how a few of them feel. I can really relate to them.
::saves rec+comments for tomorrow night::
@Roadlesstaken - yes, i did notice some of the happier secrets. but there just weren’t enough to cover all the sad ones.. i can’t believe so many xangans are considering suicide
Alex, this is amazing. You and Matt have outdone yourselves on this one.
@Got_Takoyaki - The only thing with that secret is I have to disagree that relationships you make on this site aren’t real. Over the past year, I’ve developed so many good relationships with people through here and met some wonderful people. It can happen!
@jing116 - Suicidal thoughts are quite prevalent. It doesn’t surprise me that there were so many, but I still feel for them.
@the_mamarazzi - I’m glad you liked it!
@theacematt2 - alrighty, cya then.
Haha, I liked the virginity one. Now it makes me wonder who that is. Haha.
The suicide ones are sad, but you’re right – I’m sure that you could have made up half this video with suicide ones. It’s the secrets that you feel like you can’t really say out loud. How sad.
I did notice the happy/funny ones, though. So that’s a good thing. It’s hard to get the sad kinds of submissions, though.
Wow, a lot of these were really dark. But it gets lighter. I hope that the people who wrote about their suicides find comfort knowing they’re not alone.
Those suicide thoughts was really sad. That was tough to read through it. I’m glad the video ended on a more uplifting note.
hmm so many sad people
…but maybe this helps, idk …and at least there are some happy people too 
…another great job putting this together, rlt 
:)
wow…some really depressing stuff there. thanks for really making the effort to this Alex, I mean you’re helping those people in ways like you can’t even imagine! there shouldn’t be an end for good stuff like this! ;D
These make me so sad Alex.
My eyes got a little watery. =(
Good work, Alex…
this is the saddest shit ive ever seen. this belongs on ogrish.com… i may have to avoid this place like i do that place.
“I haven’t spoken with my father in almost ten years. When people tell me I should make up with him before it’s too late…”
I hadn’t spoken to mine in so many years I can’t count. I blamed him for us not talking, said he shouldn’t have walked away when I was younger, told myself that I’d never speak to him, that I hated him. He did in a car accident last month. I was wrong about all of that. I do care, you DO care & sometimes you just have to suck it up & reach out to people, be the better person, tell them you love them, tell them how they feel. That way, if something does happen, the guilt & regret isn’t all on you.
“I have secretly participated in BDSM sexual relationships…”
I lived with my sub for over a year & a half. The people who read my Xanga know, none of the judged me based on this, some actually asked questions. You can’t be fired for being kinky, just the same as you can’t be fired for having normal sex.
ALEX! Get on Zombies, nooooww! I’ll be on for a bit
Man… Sad! Thanks for always doing these. I hope to get up the courage to send you my secret sometime soon. :0)
@AzureRecollections - and this on the night I took to outline a bit of a paper, knowing I’d accomplish little in Zombies…
@Morningstarrising - How do you feel about that person that wrote that secret in?
@randaness - @ElusiveWords - I’ve been getting quite a few comments about how sad this video is. Definitely wasn’t my intent. Hopefully people stick through the whole video and see that it does have more uplifting secrets towards the end.
@Peridot21 - Sure hope it helps those that feel alone realize they’re not as alone as they thought.
@oxyGENE_08 - All good things will eventually come to an end. We’ll see when the end for this project will be.
@eternal_relevance - @dopegalore - I’m sorry if the video made you depressed at some parts. There are more happier ones as you go through to the end if that helps a little.
@nothing4ever66 - I’ll go post up at least one of your replies up
@AzureRecollections - Sorry for the short visit. Gotta go to bed soon! Let me know again next time you’re on.
@ccarothers - You can do it!
Kind of creepy when some people secretly talking about killing and wanting to die.
@RestlessButterfly - It’s not too surprising. It’s definitely pretty common. We just hope most people only go as far as just thinking about it and not doing anything serious.
@Roadlesstaken - well you got a point there. 10 volumes ain’t that bad.
@Roadlesstaken - Honest, I guess? I don’t know… it seems more like “I’ve dated two Xangans” than “I’m a jerk who took two Xangans virginity”. But maybe I’m wrong.
@Roadlesstaken - Well, if those are the things that people need to talk about then that’s just the way it is. *shrug* I just hope they all feel better.
soo i was xanga surf and i want to ask….when are you coming to NY???? i live 40 min away from NYC by train!
my 5th secret was in this video
good video. i like that you put similar ones together like a theme. if ppl see their secret, they can see everybody else’s that’s similar to them.
Great stuff I think ill submit one -
I love to meet people but i always feel like a creepazoid making the first move to hang out or meet up *sad face
sad secrets.
alot of these were sad =(
i’m really happy when i am in xanga cos i get to be the person that i’ve always wanted to be.
To all the suicide ones:
I’ve been there, it’s rough. I do believe it gets better, though. So press onward. If you need to talk, I’ll be here to talk. If you need resources, there are some i could recommend, some that helped me. (For starters, I’d say check recoveryourlife.com).
hm you have the same birthday as me [:
This made me so sad -
RE: I don’t have any real friends. Sometimes I look to Xanga for comfort, since it’s so easy to make friends. But then I realize those relationships aren’t real either. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere…But I like it here.
I wonder what’s wrong with me all the time too, even now. I don’t feel belong anywhere. And when I try to fit in, all I get are rejections and piled up disappointments. I envy those who have friends who genuinely care about them, for I have none. Sometimes I think people wouldn’t even notice if I fall off Earth’s surface. Or even if they do, I presume nobody would give two hoots about it.
@Roadlesstaken - That’s a wonderful thing. These videos are so touchy and get to you cause everyone can relate to a majority of them.
I don’t like all the sad secrets
I really wish that these people had someone to talk to!
Kill yourself as fast as you can! Is it a good idea? NO! Because you can create something new, like anyone can. Just do anything.
I hope you don’t stop Alex, you do a great job and it’s a lot of fun to read these. I’d maybe not concentrate on the ‘dark side’ so much, and put up more light hearted stuff though. I’d be glad to help you out if you need any. Just message me and be sure to list the programs you use so I can download them.
@rxglasshalffull - I’m coming this weekend, Friday and Saturday and part of Sunday. Were you interested in meeting up? I’m actually hanging out with some other Xangans haha.
@jeannie_dot_com - How many total secrets have you sent in?
@Meowmeowkimmaee - Exactly. I did it in the last video as well.
@MomoLikesChoco - @lCrAzYAzNl - Yeah, after seeing all the comments about how sad this one is I decided to add one more line to the post explaining that it’s a bit darker than usual.
@Galbsadi - I be sure to post up your comment now so those might see it better.
@lilazngrl135 - Yay for March 1st babies!
@missunderappreciated - Thanks for your reply. I’ll post it up.
@TheCheshireGrins - I suppose this video method is giving them a chance to speak out in at least some way.
@Da__Vinci - Yeah, didn’t mean to put so much dark stuff in this video, but sadly most of the secrets are of that variety.
@Roadlesstaken - It’s the suicide notes that depress, me. I was talking to a friend last night that had some whacko guy threaten to off himself because she couldn’t understand his comment. She was upset all night.
“A bit darker”? That’s like saying Heath Ledger’s joker was a bit of a bummer! LOL
My secret:
Every day, at least once, I send out a mental plea for someone to come and save me from myself.
I know that no one will.
Perhaps that is why those words will never leave my lips.
@Roadlesstaken - about 8 lol
Alex, this is such a great thing you’re doing.
These videos always make me think. It makes me so sad that some Xangans are depressed. I really hope they can find some help/fell better.
@theacematt2 - Your music’s always the best part hehe.
I hope these will be logged into a “Xanga Hall of Fame”…It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in the way I’ve felt
This almost made me cry. All those hurting hearts out there. I am so sorry you have to deal with that pain. I am so sorry you feel so lost. Things can get better though. But they will not if you do not truly believe it can.
“I have so much respect for one teacher….I think once I graduate I want to tell him all these things because he has really changed my life.”
I had a teacher like that in high school. He redefined learning for me, and despite my dropping out with a drug & alcohol problem, continued to talk to me and teach me as a person, not a student number or just a name on his role sheet. He was, and is, a wealth of inspiration. We’ve stayed friends and go out to lunch once or twice a year (five years later). I think most teachers want to be influential in their students’ lives. Say something, no bad could come of it.
insightful video
Hey. you’re on the front page again! Congrats!
hahaha i study you guys too
“I was seriously depressed for three years…suicidal, actually. I wish I could pour out my heart so you all could know I am being torn to pieces inside. I fight it, though, because I’m strong.”
Telling someone how you’re feeling is one if the bravest things you can do. It shows you aren’t afraid.
This is very sad.
@wtf_turmoill - Everyone’s got their own definition of being socially “Adept” anyways.
Before coming to Xanga, I was on a forum where the community was just as tight knit and involved with each other as here. Xanga reminds me of those days, and it has even more potential than that forum. Before I came back here, that forum shut down due to everyone getting a life, and it left me depressed, as people on that forum had motivated me to be a better person. And as close as I’ve gotten to some of the people here, I’m afraid that if everyone here also gets busy in their lives and Xanga has to shut down, I’ll have another relapse from all the progress I’ve made. That’s why I’ve made a promise to myself that no matter how great of a social life I get someday, I’ll still make Xanga a priority.
@Coffee_Kaioken - True c[:
@CareyGLY - I suppose I may have understated that remark haha
@Imnotcrazyjustinsane - Thanks. I agree, I really hope at the very least those people can see they’re not alone.
@ShamelesslyRed - Haha, that would be pretty cool if there was something like that.
@Octolove - Hopefully someone out there will feel comfort in the support from this community.
@milfncookies - I posted up your comment =)
@Scrooge0 - Thanks! Seems like the XangaTeam like this project.
@MyCongee - You study me??
@danielle_thexdino - I posted up your comment on top =)
People here seem to like me, but if they met me in person they’d soon realize that I have pretty much constant and horrendous smelling gas.
@Anonymous - I’ll be here, till “the dying day” hits the best of us. Where else am I going to find inspiration for future tracks? I’ve gotten to know some truly awesome people as a result of using the site, and as a result, I refuse to quit. I don’t have as much time for it while school’s in session, but that doesn’t stop me from dropping by when I can
. Shrug off the bad, embrace the awesome.
RE: I haven’t spoken to my father in almost ten years. When people tell me I should make up with him before it’s too late, I say indifferently, he had his chance to be a father and he threw it away. This bothers other people more than it’s ever bothered me.
“I hadn’t spoken to mine in so many years I can’t count. I blamed him for us not talking, said he shouldn’t have walked away when I was younger, told myself that I’d never speak to him, that I hated him. He did in a car accident last month. I was wrong about all of that. I do care, you DO care & sometimes you just have to suck it up & reach out to people, be the better person, tell them you love them, tell them how they feel. That way, if something does happen, the guilt & regret isn’t all on you.”-nothing4ever66
Kind words to be sure, but I’d not use “indifferent” unless I meant it–I don’t hate him, but I stopped loving him before we stopped speaking. My years of teenage anger and anxiety because of him are happily behind me, and I feel like I’m better off without that particular melodrama in my life. I don’t feel bad for no longer loving someone who stopped giving a damn long before I did. Maybe this just means I’m not someone who plays “the better person.” There is no guilt or regret here, only history.
hmm i dont know if itll be weird, because i def dont know the other xangans that are also going…hmmm…i do want to go though. argh it sucks being indecisive! haha
a lot of these were really sad…
Crazy.
woah shit. this is so true. lol.
I have secrets but I prefer keep them in the vault of my heart.
@Roadlesstaken - All the time
Hi! I’m new to Xanga and trying to meet some new friends… If you interested, please check out my first blog entry:
Social Networking ExperimentThanks!
The friends I most respect are the ones I have made through Xanga. Their comments have helped me through some difficult things this past year even when they themselves were going through things that were ten billion times harder than my trials. They still took time to write words of encouragement and let me know someone was on my side. I have never been blessed more by anything else in my life.
those type of posts are familiar but xanga didn’t get videos like these way back then, at least to my knowledge
wow…the keeper of secrets
@Cliffycliffz - Yup, part of the reason why I started doing this project was because I’ve seen something similar to this in the past, but for one reason or another the person in charge stopped doing it.
@dzy_1 - Not really keeper, just giving those that have secrets a path to expressing them in a way they’re comfortable with =)
This video makes me choke up in the inside and want to smile at the same time. a lot like postsecret but a little more idk since this is more of a community (x
I want to write a post with the most racist and homophobic title ever just to see how many people will read my essay on English muffins.
You’re a pro at making videos by now
I think it’s best if you either stopped at 10, or made one postsecret video every month. Give yourself time for other things, ya know? Or get more people on this and make a “postsecret” xanga id solely dedicated to these secrets… that’ll be pretty cool XD
There are two secrets here that I would say “Me, too!” to. That’s so strange, since they’re really specific.
I honestly don’t care about anything anymore, and crying isn’t worth my time.
I wish you would realize how much your abandonment hurt me. You didn’t even realize what you did. And that’s what hurts the most. I used to tell you everything, and now, I have no one else.
@Viewtiful_Justin - Same here… :/
@maybellinewaste - Welcome to Xanga! I hope you like it here.
@christykim - Hmm good ideas. For sure if I kept on doing this I will probably do them at most once a month.
@Viewtiful_Justin - @blackspiders - Kinda interesting how alike we all are, huh?
Sometimes I make up drama just to see how my boyfriend reacts. I think I’m trying to test his love for me because this relationship seems too good to be true. I need to know he loves me as much as I love him and that he thinks I’m his “one.”
@Roadlesstaken - It’s a wonderful thing.
????????????? why is every secret so depressing
I think my comment got deleted, which does not make any sense. If secrets were not depressing, then nobody would feel the need to confess anything. It’s the painful secrets that people want to get off their chests.
uhhhmm, it was your birthday? what?
@jillstarr - Some weren’t, but yeah this volume had a bit more depressing ones than the older videos.
@millionofstars - Hmm that is weird. Yup, you pretty much got it with the sad secrets. I’m definitely not surprise to see a lot of them.
@chouatwinkie - How dare you missed it?! haha j/k
ohh, i am so sorry!! i didn’t know. you should’ve told me. i did wish you a happy birthday on my xanga entry. you should feel special. PUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
@chouatwinkie - I suppose that makes it up =)
puahaha. oh shush!! you make my birthday wish sound like poop. TT_________TT
@chouatwinkie - Nah it’s all good
. Thanks!
“I think of all of you Xangans as lab rats for me to study human nature.
I only pretend to believe in any human connection I get from you.”
I understand how Xanga could be seen as a place to study human nature. It’s amazing how people can post their deepest emotions and secrets on here. But I’m surprised that anyone could “pretend” to connect with another human being (even if it’s only online). I find that to be so wrong…
As for the depression/suicide secrets… I’d have more to say about them if this had been 4/5 years ago, but it’s behind me now.
I photoshopped my profile picture to make myself look different and I use a fake name to make sure that if anyone I know IRL ever finds my Xanga, they won’t know it’s me, just so I can finally say what I really feel without the risk of being judged.
If he gets deployed, and killed while deployed
I’m killing myself.
He’s the only person who gives my life meaning.
WOA…update!! say something random…
@- - thats sad….but true. Feel sorry for the army wives. I always respect soldiers who come into our restaurant to eat. Give em free beer!
The more I deny it, the more I realize that I’m in love with my best friend. But I don’t want to be, because I’ll get judged for the rest of my life.
I mean, she’s a girl. and I am too.
My mom would kick me out of the house, and my family won’t speak to me, just like they did with my cousin.
Even more, God will hate me.
why does love have to be so hard?
While I absolutely love when people like my poetry, sometimes I wish they’d understand what I was saying. So far, nobody really gets it, and if they do.. they’ve never told me. I’m sorry if I bother people with depressing topics. I know of no other way to let it out peacefully.
Bravo! Great video and great music, thanks!
you’re killing me.
thanks for killing me
All the things you state is true, I believe so
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