December 1, 2009
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Why I will never underestimate mall security
Mall security does not have the best reputation, which was only made worse after that Paul Blart movie came out. I’m sure a lot of people have negative impressions of them, but I can’t help but have some respect for them despite it all. How come? Well, I will forever remember two memories I’ve had while at my local mall that involved mall security being badasses. The stories I’m about to tell you may sound unbelievable, but I promise you I am not making this up.
The first memory took place when I was about 15 years old. At the time, I was working at my mall’s Dairy Queen/Orange Julius and it was a rather slow weekday night. As I am standing there waiting for a customer to come up, I start hearing some commotion around the corner. Right as I lean over the counter to see what was going on, a teenage girl comes sprinting past, carrying a couple shirts. Right behind her were two (admittingly overweight) mall security guys chasing after her. It was looking like she might get away, and she must have thought so too since she turned her head to guage how far they were. What she didn’t notice was the security guard directly in her upcoming path, about 10 feet away.
Guess what that security guard does? He stuck out his arm right in front of her, essentially clotheslining her down to the floor. I think everyone around that saw this, including me, gave a collective “OH!” (amongst other words). The last thing I saw was the three security guards dragging this dazed girl back to the store where she stole from.
The second memory happened a couple years later. Now, at the mall there was this small, middle aged, female security guard that would patrol the place in an electric wheelchair. At first glance, it looked like she was very handicapped and made me wonder what she would be able to do if forced to take some action.
I most certainly discovered how one day, while I was window shopping with a friend. Once again, I heard some commotion going on near by and as I turned that direction I see this man sprinting towards my general direction. That woman security guard happened to be nearby as well. Here’s where it got kind of crazy. As the man came flying past us, I suddenly saw this lady straighten hereself up and leap out of her wheelchair onto her (apparently working) legs. “Holy crap, did she just pull a Keyser Söze?!”, I thought.
Before my brain could process it fully, she sprinted off. Not only did she catch up to that guy (who had a healthy head start) she actually tackled him down and held him on the floor until her reinforcements came. I’m pretty sure my mouth was still wide open as she casually got back into her wheelchair afterward and went about her business as if nothing happened.
These two events, my friends, are why I will never underestimate mall security ever again.
Comments (105)
Decoy cop in a wheelchair… that could be another movie!
keyser soze?
oh, did I mention I’m under-cover mall security? Yeeeah. You best bewares.
oh snap. i have yet to see these things happen with mall security.
They’re still flunkies of the Police Academy lol
oh wow.
How exciting that you got to witness all that action!
Rent-A-Cop.
bad ass!! strong and sexy!!
The woman security did a better job.
ahahahahah NICE.
why I still haven’t catch a mall security in action?
Omg!! I lol’d. I especially love the lady in the wheelchair. That’s pretty sweet.
What kind of ghetto mall is in your neighborhood?
More importantly…you hang around there…I am starting to know that you are not to be underestimated…
Crazy stuff haha. never witnessed any mall action around here
i’m tearing up =*)
GO COP LADY!! GOOO!
great going for those you witnessed
around here, a lot of ‘em just cause unnecessary trouble sometimes.. well, back in my day they did
Wow, I’ve hardly even seen security officers in the malls I’ve been in, nor any blatant thefts–and I don’t really care to haha; but wow, witnessing 2 similar attempted thefts is kinda crazy. Great stories, though
haha. i wish the security at my mall were like that.
Haha, great stories!
nice. hahaha.
I was eating w/ some friends in a food court one time and we heard a commotion. Some kids stole a lady’s purse and out comes the guy from the Japanese place with a cleaver in hand! He tried with much heroic effort to chase down the kids who managed to run away. A few minutes later the security guy saunters out leisurely and pretended to look for the perpetrators.
@lil_squirrel4ever - my god.
I’ve seen mall security tackle people at the Mall of America… Quite funny, in my opinion.
Dude… mall security officers only dream of the chance to get into some action like this once in a while. Whenever it happens, they give it their all. That’s why Football is only played once a week. You’d have to bring your best each time.
daaaang props to them!
very funny and interesting post. I like it =)
@xLove_Me_Alwaysx - So tricky!
@shatterFocus - I’m guessing you haven’t seen The Usual Suspects. I don’t wanna spoil it, but it has something to do with the ending.
@elelkewljay - Doesn’t happen often apparently. I was lucky to witness those two events.
@Paul_Partisan - Perhaps so, but they sure can take someone down if they got to!
@lilaznswtness421 - Very memorable to say the least
@JL789 - hey, people gotta make the money whatever way they can.
@jeannie_dot_com - not sure about the sexy part haha, but badass yes
@Xcite_Me - Oh yeah, she takes the top prize for sure
@glimpseh2o - I haven’t seen something like that happen in 5 years, so it’s pretty rare.
@crazy2love - I wonder why one would need to be so undercover like that?
@Wangium - Haha, well the mall is actually one of the biggest and most popular malls in MD. There can be some strange people there though.
@nepenthium - is that the looks of the two crooks after they got taken down? haha
@jhesyka - I’ve been very well acquainted with this mall, seeing as I live so close. You sure see a lot of things go down over the years.
@LilyTheBunny - I haven’t seen her since. I wonder where she went?
@subaru3169 - Ah yes, back in the good old days…=P
@webofsimplicity - Yeah, they’re fairly rare. Of the 9 years I’ve been at this mall those were the two main incidence. Well, except for that one fight…
@B1ANCACACA - Granted, most of the other security folks are what you expected haha
@decembriel - glad you enjoyed reading them
@YouTOme - I almost forgotten those stories until I was reminded of it the other day while sitting in the mall.
@lil_squirrel4ever - I’m guessing that person didn’t get caught? Still, being chased by a man with a cleaver is quite intimidating haha
@firetyger - nah seriously, it is. I still kinda chuckle when I picture that girl get clotheslined hard.
@stupid_systemus - Ah, interesting way of looking at it. Makes sense.
@MariaBoscardin - Mad props!
@inaean - I’m glad you do!
The only thing that would make this post better is a picture of you in your DQ/Orange Julius outfit!
lol damn.
@MomoLikesChoco - damn right!
@CareyGLY - No…just no haha
damn, too bad nothing that cool would ever happen here
Oh, the element of surprise! It is kind of funny, here in Thailand we have guards everywhere. It’s a boom industry. But being a guard here isn’t quite the laughable profession that it is in the States. Yes, they are still wannabe cops but they take their jobs seriously, do good work and are generally respected.
I asked some security guards at bank because physically they’re kind of fragile, but their answers were almost the same, they have some army, security or police background.
Hahahaha great stories!
@Roadlesstaken - Lol yea. I’ve been working in the same mall for almost 5 years and have yet to see them step their game up.
hahah. awesome sounding security! can’t say the same for all securities sadly D:.
Keyser Söze, ftw!
haha omg that lady in the wheelchair. what the hang !
O_O… LOL great stories <3 hahahahaha
never underestimate people’s potentials.
you’d think it only happens in movies! i dunno what i’d do if someone steals my purse. would i chase after them too? would you? or if it happened to someone nearby?
this whole good samaritan thing baffles me. similar to a case when a woman gets beaten and raped in broad daylight… yet no one stops to help her out.
i’d like to think i’m a good person… and if it comes down to it, would i help her out? probably. some people wouldn’t.
anyway, i dunno where i’m going with this… lol. good entry!
LOL, I love the second story. It’s almost movie like!
OH SNAP!
Wow. Thanks for sharing, I had no idea! I like the mall cops in avril lavigne’s complicated mv, haha.
The wheelchair one baffles me. Crazy stories, I wish I was so lucky as to see something like this.
I know I hated mall security because they were always dicks to me when I was younger. I was once with bunch of friends and a fight broke out with some people near us. We of course glanced over, but didn’t even stick around more than 45 seconds before walking along our way. But because they were Asian and we were Asian, they took the trouble to track us down in the store we were shopping in and kicked us out of the mall as well. Another time I went to a payphone to make a call, then as I finished, a mall cop approached me and asked me to leave the mall, because I had my hand leaning on a bolt on the phone booth while talking, and he claimed I was trying to take the bolt off of it.
And I worked as an undercover loss prevention before as well, and well, you don’t have to be a dick to do the job.
i seen them take action before too.. caught 3 guys. it was fun to watch.
WOW lol all I ever see the young ones doing are hitting on the pretty estheticians.
Hahaha, they might not be the fittest bunch, but they sure are the smartest!
oh snap
@ordinary_gir1 - What, Canada doesn’t have thieves??
@christao408 - I think any type of job that requires you preventing harm is very respectful
@RestlessButterfly - Ah, that’s good to know
@onlyjustbegun - There’s stories everywhere if you look hard enough =P
@Asianrockgurl - true that. Most of the time they’re riding around on their segways haha
@Ampersands_Anonymous - I’m glad at least one person got that reference!
@redfirestarter - I know right? I haven’t seen her since…I wonder if she went to another mall to do some undercover stuff?
@Got_Takoyaki - Thanks!
@xkthily - forizzle
@CandyMuncher - I know what phenomenon you’re talking about. Basically, the more people around the more likely we won’t help because we think someone else will do something. If you’re by yourself though people tend to do the right thing
@TheCheshireGrins - I know right??
@SerenaDante - oh snap on snap
@wyrdkismet - haha why’s that?
@TheRiverIsEverywhere - I’ve only witnessed something like this twice in the 9 or so years I’ve been around that mall. I wonder how many other incidence I’ve missed.
@My_notes_to_self - Aiya, no wonder you mall security has given you a bad taste in your mouth.
@sonychak - haha that I agree. Such a change of pace.
@haloed - Yeah, I see that occasionally too =P
@theRyeCatcher - ahh perhaps, especially that lady. Who would have thunk?
@d_ciao - OH snap oh snap!
@Roadlesstaken - avril and her friends steal the food from the mall cops and they chase avril all over the mall, up and down the escalators and there’s a hot dog guy giving out free samples or something involved in all this..it’s just funny to watch. =P
@Roadlesstaken -
Of course! I’m a huge movie buff.
Hahaha…Keyser Söze. Seriously though, she sounds like a badass.
The second story is hilarious. =]
“pull a Keyser Soze” lol …so that wheelchair lady was, what, kind of undercover then? so cool that she got him! take that! can you imagine him having to tell how he got caught in jail? hah =)
@Ampersands_Anonymous - me too
@yakko1 - Yes, someone else who knows what I’m referring to when I said that!
@indiechaos - Crazy but true!
@Peridot21 - I still can’t figure out why she would feel the need to go undercover. In the end, we are just in a mall haha.
Awesome.
Wow.
You most def. have the best mall security!
What malls do you go to?!!! hahaha Crazy :p
The university is called Lynn University, small, about 2300 people. It’s great because it’s 25 minutes away from home, beautiful campus and they are making new courts for the next season
I wanted to go there so bad, I’m extremely thankful for the opportunity 
never seen that before for a lady in a wheel chair as a decoy. that is so cleaver! lol
@randaness - I’ll say!
@ra_ma_fi - ah, if only it was like that all the time.
@missedout_onlife - Ah, sounds great. I’m very happy for you =D
@BabyGurlDragon88 - It is! I’m still trying to figure out why she would go through all that trouble though haha.
keyser soze! HAHA. “THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE.”
i’d love to see a guard take someone down. around here, they just stand around like the most unathletic guys you’ve ever seen.
wait whaat, she was faking her handicap? what’s the point of that..?
@TheBigShowAtUD - The security guards also have motorized scooters and segways!
@tousle - You tell me! I’m still trying to figure that out.
They deal with a lot of idiots everyday. It must be crazy this time of year.
I can’t believe the woman security guard – in a wheelchair? That’s a pretty neat “disguise”.
hehe i liked this story.
The question is why do you have so many shoplifters in your town? lol Usually shoplifters try to be discreet,not grab and run lol.
Hah! Amazing that she could catch up to him even though she has to sit in a wheelchair all day… I mean, she probably doesn’t get that much exercise while she works.
Clothesline tactic. Nice.
I liked that movie, Paul Blart.
@ElusiveWords - it is! Although, I think it may have been a little too much for just our mall
@bamzilicious26 - I can’t believe I almost forgot about these memories
@AlterEgo909 - haha, well these were two events I witness over the course of 9 years visiting this mall, so it’s pretty rare
@Imnotcrazyjustinsane - makes you wonder what she does on her off time 0_0
@Wild_and_Wicked - That tactic is apparently the key!
@strawberries_and_honey - I have actually yet to see it, but I did see Observe and Report
@Roadlesstaken - to let the people think that she can not walk lol
They sound better than the security where I am! It’s too easy to spot them. Not that I try to steal anything myself, but yea..those who do know who to watch out for. Silly security ;P
Better not to underestimate:)
If only you had filmed them…especially the cop decoy in the wheelchair.
I work in a mall for a little bit. But I guess I never see an action like that. I never look down on mall security coz I know they were just Police / Detective man/woman who do part time job in the mall.
ryc: hey, maybe i’ll start being transparent and stuff.
wow…intense. i’ve only seen it done in movies. i don’t know if it’s me thinking too much or not but almost every time i’m in the mall, there’s a mall security guard close by. I just shrug it off most of the time though or try to.
@Shopgirl0393 - I haven’t seen anyone try to outrun security lately, perhaps because they got those segways now haha
@PeaceSearcher - for sure
@tenshii_rage - it happened too fast before I would have thought of doing that haha
@vsan79 - exactly, we all gotta do what we gotta do sometimes
@HeartLUST - they trying extra hard to protect you! …or they think you’re a crook haha
@Roadlesstaken - yea, i think looking more like a crook is the case, i hardly go to the mall anymore but the last time i was there there was two of them hanging around, one at each entrance!!!
hi i’m here
where do i vote???
@Joanna_said_SO - It will be over at npr32486′s xanga page. I’ll let you know when he opens up voting!
Hahaha, your life sounds so eventful =).
Intense! I have a lot of respect for that female security guard…
@xxthatsmexx - It’s okay I suppose, but I don’t think my life is any more eventful as many of you guys. There’s always a story somewhere!
@overly_toasted_bread - Me too. She was quick!
I’m never ever going to shoplift anything after reading that. Actually, if you send that to mall security, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. It could be a sign they put up: “Thing to read if you are considering shoplifting”
oh wow very interesting. . . i’ve witnessed a few undercover securities in action at the mall myself and have to say its pretty cool to watch.
@Joanna_said_SO - Okay, here’s the link to vote: http://npr32486.xanga.com/717680894/xangamercials/
@AzureRecollections - Oh you know people will still steal just to see what the mall cops will do =P
@cokaholic - Oh yeah? How were they undercover at your place?
@Roadlesstaken - done and done, goodluck!
@Joanna_said_SO - awesomeness! Thanks again for taking the time out to do so.
WHOA! INTENSE! i’ve never seen my mall cops do anything other than kick out underaged kids… since apparently people under 17 couldnt be at the mall by themselves…. lameeeeee.
we would call them Rent-A-Cops. oh the days of getting kicked out of the mall.
@PiscesPhishie - I just saw a mall security guard take a kid’s skateboard. That kid looks soooo disappointed haha.
ryc: it wasn’t even a real conversation. haha. read the tags. and thanks. i’ll make it a good one.
@TheBigShowAtUD - Haha yes, I kinda guess that since I don’t think Dan normally speaks in the ways he was portrayed. Good stuff though.
@Roadlesstaken - heh. we’ll see what he thinks.
Hmm, I had friends run away from mall security before. They like messed up the cinemas and supermarkets, and was chased out.
One of them shot a BB gun at the guy.
==”
Those security guards aren’t exactly….good…
@Donutism - Ouch, I see