November 1, 2009
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My Mojo Could Use A Stimulus Package
Looking around, I wonder if loneliness hit us single people all around the same time. It can definitely catch you off guard that’s for sure. Here I am, minding my own independent business and content as can be, when BAM! Suddenly, something comes waltzing by to remind me what I’m missing out on.
In my case, I was watching The Spare, a short story by Wong Fu Productions. For those that haven’t seen it, it captures a HK couple’s last moments together before the guy leaves for school in the US for a year. Seeing how sad and concerned the girl was brought back good memories from my past of a time when my (then) girlfriend felt the same ways about me. It’s these types of reminders that makes me question what happen to my so called “mojo” I had a few years back when I found myself in almost back-to-back relationships. I used to think it was so easy to meet a good girl, but now I understand I took that for granted. If only that mojo can come back to me, now that I’m older and wiser!
Oh love. It’s a feeling I haven’t had a chance to really experience in nearly two years now. Believe me, I’ve tried to find it again and I did meet random potentials since then, but nothing concrete. I occasionally worry that one day I’ll just forget how love feels and become numb to it all, as silly as that sounds. Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was! Knowing that someone cared for me so deeply brought me so much happiness. Unfortunately, those memories becomes a greater struggle to hold on to with each passing day. It’s for that reason why I’m writing those thoughts down here, as a way to remind myself what I’m ultimately striving for.
Like I’ve said many times over this past year, I’ve gotten used to being single and have even come to enjoy the lifestyle. I’m pretty sure that in a couple days or so, that lonesome feeling that’s currently with me will go away and I’ll be content with my single status once more. Still, I’m uncertain how many more rounds I can keep up with loneliness before it overtakes me. Hopefully, someone wonderful will pop into my life before then to make that issue obsolete.
Until that lucky moment, I’ll just have to soldier on.
Comments (103)
That’s the reason alcohol exists. WHEN YOU DOWN A SHOT, THE BITTERNESS SHOWS YOU HOW BITTER LIFE CAN BE. Kidding… Sort of.
Okay, I really should say something more constructive but really, all you can do is focus on your studies and work. Hope you can combat the seductive arms of emo reminiscing!
oh that short film is so cute.
^_^ My last relationship ended 6 months ago, I’m glad it did, but my last serious relationship ended 2 years ago. I said I love you in my past relationships before the most recent but now I don’t think I was every truely in love, how can I tell from stupid high school relationships that I rushed into anyway? Now that’s I’ve started college I have been getting more attention from guys, but not the kind I want and sometimes I just wanna stay single…but then loneliness hits me but I shrug it off because I’m “too young” to be depressed about love lol. But, I honestly believe that you are a wonderful person and you will find someone. I know you will. it’s funny though because I feel like I know so much about your character and I only read your blogs so if that’s the case, I’m sure a girl you’ll meet in public will notice that and more, and be hooked ^_^, maybe not now, but someday.
ok i’m not even gonna watch the video… i don’t need the extra sad
…but yeah, i totally know what you mean… it deff comes and, thankfully, goes like that for me too…
I love Wong Fu Productions!
But anywho, I see what you mean. Finding the right person is so difficult and even though being single is nice, having someone there is nicer. You’ll find the right person soon. No worries
Aww that was such a cute little video.
But yeah, just keep truckin’ along, I guess! That’s all any of us can do.
Awww, thanks for spreading the lonely feelings
, just kidding, half way. 
It seems to like love is something built into you that I don’t think time or prolonged singleness can wear out. If anything, just find a few gooey song and sing and dance to them, maybe they’ll help re-enliven you
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^Agreed. It has been an exceptionally long time.
Being comfortable with being on your own is a good step. Enjoy it.
Relationships come when you least expect it, you can’t control that but you can be open to it in other ways ie being friendly, getting to know others, being interested in what others bring to your life, etc. Those little details move you forward to the bigger moments.
@snapeful - damn that emo reminiscing!
@elelkewljay - The prequel to it is almost as good
@RaquelHiggins005 - Thanks for the encouraging words. Help me find said girl =P
@Peridot21 - It’s like a cycle. Just gotta wait it out..until the next time it hits me. Ahhh
@CatherineMarshmallow - If only I can pinpoint how soon is soon. Would make things easier!
@just_the_average_jane - Yup yup. Hopefully I don’t run out of gas (lame metaphor)
@phosphor_stars - I think I believe that too. I just noticed that I haven’t been seeing my past love experiences as clearly as I used to, so it makes me wonder how much of that memory is still with me.
I know what you mean but you have to remember that you were a different person when you “fell in love” back then. It’ll be a different experience again when you fall again this time. Hopefully with a smarter and realistic head.
@Roadlesstaken - Ahhh …exactly.
like snapful said….focus on study ! lol…….then after study and a job then you can find loveeeeeeeeeeeee
@Roadlesstaken - go to a psychic! They could be able to tell you!
but that may cost lots of money and they would be wrong. or make a time machine! 
Oh that reminds me, I gotta go buy a toothbrush too
@Roadlesstaken - Here I was thinking you were a good boy who never swore! You need to watch your mouth young man, especially in front of female company, which your blog mysteriously seems to attract an excess of; I’m jealous. Okay well not really, I just didn’t want to end my sentence with a preposition.
Imagine being 27 and single and having people constantly making you feel like something is wrong with you for being single. I’d like to think that everyone’s “moment” (finding the one) comes earlier for some and later for others. Be patient
I feel this way too. For the most part I am pretty comfortable and enjoy being single, but every so often I see something that reminds me of those spectacular parts of relationships that I am currently missing out on. Shucks. I’d have to agree with RaquelHiggins005, even though I only know you through your blogs, I know you’ll find someone amazing because you seem like such a terrific person. I hope you find someone special soon though, the waiting is never fun.
I do find that with the transition of the seasons more people seem to be more down about being single. Rather, they express it more… maybe it’s the ‘appropriate time’ to do so, I have no idea. But you’re not jaded at all and you’re still hopeful which is a good thing. And don’t they say that just when you thought all hope was lost, everything changes? So yeah, something will change for you and it’ll come at the most unexpected time… so you just have to be ready.
i think people fall in love every day. you can fall in love with a boy
i sometimes feel like people put too much emphasis on finding that
who held the door open for you on a rainy day. or a boy who smiled at
you on the train back home. of course in your case it would be a girl
“perfect” or “true” love and miss out on the much smaller degrees of
love that happen every day of our lives. stop looking for it. it’ll
come slamming into you someday.
it’s a lot harder to meet compatible ppl after college. I’ve been having boughts of loneliness lately as well, but I’ve been trying to throw those feelings to the side.
I bet you still have that “mojo,” but subconsciously hide it. You did say you’re older and wiser now; maybe you’d just rather spend effort into finding the right person than a person. =] Stay optimistic! Life’s more fun that way =).
Woo! I’ve seen that video so many times. ^_^ I’ve been single all my life and I don’t understand why people complain.
But I don’t understand what it’s like to be in a relationship. Be optimistic. You’ll find someone when you least expect it. : )
don’t worry, a great guy like you is bound to find the love of your life soon.
@xLove_Me_Alwaysx - are you talking about yourself or me?
@Parsimony - Yup yup, I’ve definitely done my fair share of that over these 2 years. I’ve gotten more connected with others, but still yearn for this particular connection.
@Agent_Eric - Hopefully right? I know I won’t take that future person for granted this time around!
@nomilktoday - ah, but if I find love now I have a strong support for when I deal with the stresses with work and school! =D
@CatherineMarshmallow - I’ve been meaning to try out a psychic. Too bad I don’t really buy that it works.
@strawberries_and_honey - well, I’m glad to be of service haha
@snapeful - Haha, I don’t really cuss, but I occasionally say those minor cusses. How vanilla do you think I am??
@Roadlesstaken - Uh that toothbrush isn’t for me
@everchanginglife09 - Oh, I can imagine. Do your parents make the most fuss about it? I’m sure my family would if that was the case for me.
@TheRiverIsEverywhere - She better be worth it in the end! haha…thanks for your kind comment btw. You seem like a good person yourself.
@MochaSprinkle - That’s the exact advice I would give someone to in my situation. Ahhh, so frustrating. I do think you have a point there about the change of seasons affecting people’s mood. S.A.D. right? Seriously though, if you browse around random Xanga posts by people lately you start seeing a lot of post dealing with loneliness. It’s pretty interesting.
@mi1kandcerea1 - Ahh, true true. Hmm…I’ll attempt to think about those smaller degrees of love then. I think I have a few in mind now.
@wonderland7386 - I agree. I’m in grad school now, which kinda helps…except most of my classmates are either married or in relationships. Urgh.
@xxthatsmexx - It hasn’t been fun for me lately =/ , but I know what you mean. My mojo is somewhere deep inside me…it should come back out like, now.
@Got_Takoyaki - I wonder if I haven’t been in a good long term relationship before how I would react to being single now. I’m sure the experiences would be slightly different. Now, have you stayed single because of choice?
@GaMeGurLsH - I hope your words are accurate =)
@strawberries_and_honey - oh oh!
or nerds! lol
being single is the way to be!
but i know how you feel…being in love is a nice feeling, something to look forward to everyday
@Roadlesstaken - We had a psychic last year at my project graduation. I wrote down everything she told me. Hopefully it comes true. I’ll let u know if they’re worth going to or not once i find out.
haha
Your time will come I’m sure
for now just enjoy the single life. It does kind of suck during the holidays though =/
oh yeah I went to play tennis today and this asian guy playing next to me looked a lot like you hahah and i was like “… nooooo roadless taken wouldnt fly out to seattle just to play tennis” LOL
My mom used to be that way. She’d always tell me to stop wearing ponytails and VS sweatpants in public! My dad doesn’t really care. he’s cool. Ultimately, my dad just wants me to be happy.
@lilaznswtness421 - Yup, being single has it’s days and being in a relationship has it’s days.
@wonderland7386 - can’t argue with you there
@CatherineMarshmallow - didn’t you write about this once?
@jhesyka - or WOULD I? Hmmm….you should have snuck a picture of him and showed me
@Roadlesstaken - Well, thank ya.
*SIGH*
yeah. I think it’s because I’m really quiet irl or I’m just too picky. I saw someone on facebook and their status said ‘lonely’. hahaha Loner XD
Sigh. Love.
you’re a pisces, you’re suppose to be a hopeless romantic who’s eternally unlucky in love
but be the fish that breaks that fate! you must find an unselfish romantic love to blossom on
Oh so that was what the pulse on ‘Pop into ur life soon’ was about! LOL. don’t get used to the single lifestyle its like shutting all possible gates! :X
What a great video. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because nobody knows how you feel except you. However I can say I’m on the same road and I totally empathize. You know I always thought like in the video, I’ll meet my SO on a random public bus or subway ride, especially since I work in a big city, but I think sometimes you get too caught up to trying finding someone, instead of just letting it happen. Bleh, what can you say… Thats life, right?
I haven’t felt anything significant towards anyone for a few years, and I’ve had certain days where I wondered if I was stuck in a rut, if I was “broken”, if I had forgotten what it meant to care for someone like that, so I understand how you feel about your current situation. I’m not concerned thogh because it’s all a matter of meeting that person. A decade can go by and it wouldn’t matter because when she/he finally does pop up, those kinds of feelings will come rushing in without any effort. So keep soldiering on and keep believing that she’s out there, and she’ll come into your life when she’s supposed to.
Both!
OMGGGGGGGGGG I just watched the video. HOW ADORABLE!! I haven’t heard that much Cantonese in a while.
I know what you’re going through. I haven’t been in a relationship in…well, I’ve never been in a relationship. But I’m only…24. Where did my mojo go?
I am better off as a single. I don’t think any guy could stand me and be around me for long. Singledom isn’t so bad once you get over the loneliness and start dating like your tail’s on fire. Just saying.
those lonely moments can get weary but with time, you’ll find someone who’ll make you forget what you feel now and be grateful that such a person came into your life =]
It’s crazy… this post is exactly how I have been feeling, word for word. I, too, am waiting for a good one and while I am content being single, loneliness is overbearing sometimes. I am not sure how much more I am able to take.I hope we both get ours one day. We are good catches and well-worth it.
i thought the whole film was gonna be about what color toothbrush shall i pick for my lover? all in Cantonese..some of the translation was off..almost like watching some old Hong Kong movies.
i know exactly how it feels… i just got out of a relationship myself, and it’s hard to get used to being single again once you’ve gotten used to being with someone. it’s a process, and i’m sure sooner or later you’ll learn to let go and enjoy it. just focus on your studies for a while. the right girl, she’s just out there, and fate will find a way to make your paths cross. same thing for me, and for the other single girls out there. the right guy will come, in time. = P
Ah..I haven’t experienced love in about the same amount of time. It will come, I’m sure.
Loneliness is serene.
*but this is coming from a person who’s only ever had one boyfriend that lasted for 3 months..so..* hahahah
You will not become numb; you’re way too much of a romantic for that. You are a great guy and anyone would be very lucky to date you, you just haven’t found the right girl yet. I know that she’s out there somewhere. Just keep looking!
Aww….I’m lonely over here, too.
Yeah…when it’s not there…people do long for it…
Maybe it’s making you single so you can appreciate it more. Love plays those games.
Yeah it’s hitting me too, it’s that time of the year. The right situation will come for you Alex
.
Just think, someone could be your last first kiss.
@CITYG1RL - loneliness got you too?
@BlehhItsTu - Guessing you as well?
@nepenthium - haha, are you my horoscope for today?
@tollyyjoy - Yup, you got it. I pulsed that right before I fell asleep, as that was keeping me up.
@ThePeterPanComplex - I think it would be pretty cool to meet someone like that. Oh meet-cute situations..
@xLove_Me_Alwaysx - If you liked that video, you should watch the prequel to it as well.
@CuaSo - Let hope so! waiting waiting waiting…sometimes it feels like that’s all I do.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - maybe your mojo and my mojo are vacationing somewhere without us
@Xcite_Me - haha, interesting way of putting it.
@MariaBoscardin - I know, which is why I’m optimistic about my future. Now the present is a different story =P
@h0peLeSs_RoMaNtiC - for sure =D
@nooitzben - the translations wasn’t word for word correct, but it was about right I thought. Have you watch their other shorts? The prequel is in Canto as well.
@KGTeriKat - all the right guys and right girls need to just all get together and make everybody happy haha
@crazy2love - I’m pretty sure too, just wish that future becomes the present sooner!
@RestlessButterfly - at times. Overall, I don’t like it much
@luvs_u - Thanks. Those awesome girls…tell them to hurry up, won’t you?
@TheCheshireGrins - If you see her, refer her over right away!
@JL789 - Frustrating feeling, no?
@Wangium - yup, that grass is greener on the other side type of feeling
@Meowmeowkimmaee - I think I’ve learned to appreciate much more now, so tell it that I’m ready haha
@Shades_of_Athena - Got that from that Amberlin song right?
I love that video! Love wong fu productions.
Enjoy things for now, but keep your eyes peeled open for that great girl that’ll walk into your life.
I can relate
No, no, the grass IS greener on the other side
I know how you feel right now. I met a great guy who I’ve seen a few times. But he doesn’t want a relationship. Major fml moment.. I hope we both find someone we are compatible with! I’ve been single for almost 2 years too
That’s such a cute film. Ahaha..I love it! And yeah, I know what you mean. I think a majority of us take/took love for granted, but when one day you realize that you haven’t been with someone for like a year or soo..you realize that love is not that easy.
I understand the sentiment.
/Hug
@Roadlesstaken - well, that was a permanent horoscope :p
@Roadlesstaken - I just heard it from someone who probably heard it from the song. It brings me hope.
aww
@Roadlesstaken - They’re on vacation and they didn’t invite us? Bastards.
@diane_iris - my eyes will be wide open for her =)
@comet555 - Sucks huh?
@SamyuktaR - I’ve certainly learn that lesson and been paying for it for a while now. I’m good!
@B1ANCACACA - I’ll toast to that
@tigerdauphin - You’ve been giving a lot of e-hugs lately haha. Just noticed that, not that I mind =P
@Roadlesstaken - well, I’m not cheap with my ehugs!!!! =oD
hahahah not particularly so, but it does suck to be reminded! What’s up with that? It’s been everywhere this week haha
I feel like this…
“There are no trains in sight and then suddenly 3 are coming at a time and you’re completely overwhelmed with what to choose”
@Roadlesstaken – A cuss is a cuss, young man. What’s vanilla? Old people language? haha.
Dude.. Don’t you ever get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of girls that visit and comment your site? Wow, it’s like I stepped into a…
why do you sound so much like me? i always wondered why i’m such a weirdo and am never interested in anyone. . . and funny enough i never feel lonely or wish i was with somebody! i know i should be, but i don’t!
your video is too long, but its funny enough to see two very whitewashed looking asians talking in cantonese. . . and so fluently too. puts my chinese in shame!
@indiechaos - so are you saying right now you have 3 guys to choose from all of a sudden?
@snapeful - Hey now! Back in my day…
You stepped into what? Finish that statement! haha
@cokaholic - Do they look whitewashed? I thought they looked fine. I’m not totally sure, but I think those actors go to HK a lot. I do know that actress is originally from Canada.
I loved that shortfilm
Wongfu makes really good stuff.
I was thinking about this recently, as well, and I was having a conversation with a friend who was also single and feeling .. quite lonely lol. I was like, “Hey look at that couple. They’re sooo attached to the hip! Where’s the fun in that?!” Then she was like, “Look at us. Where’s the fun in this??” T_____T
And don’t worry, Alex. A girl will realize what she missed out once she meets you. Seriously. You’re awesome. She’ll come.
@mi1kandcerea1 - Omg. So true! Why so awesome, Michelle?
@sageng - Well, may she meet me soon!
@Roadlesstaken – You are so old-fashioned! Vanilla? REALLY? More like 1337 pwnz0rd haxer.
And um. Hmm, I think it’d be better not to. Just think of Chinese concubines..
well you can tell by looking at them they’ve lived in an english speaking country for a while and been influenced by the culture. . . i don’t know, you can just tell! even when i was in US i can tell a fob from a non-fob, hahaha. . . and technically i was a fob myself too since i don’t belong there anymore than they did.
after being married three times, I am taking a break. maybe a forever break. lonliness isn’t the worst thing in the world, man. there are days, but there are days where the silence is just peachy too
@New_dog - I agree, loneliness isn’t too bad compare to some other issues I worry about. Silence is nice at times, although after a while it’ll be nice to hear something
What’s loneliness? Never felt this…
AWw…you’ll find the lucky girl someday. =) I know what you mean…sometimes it’s nice to have someone there to love who loves you back. It’s also kinda annoying though…when they get so concerned to the point where they smother and all.
But for the most part, loving someone is a positive experience.
I love wongfu. My favourite actually, is A Peace Of Home. I love how no dialogue is needed to convey the message that there will always be a place where people can call home in all its peace and serenity.
@daniel__n - yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it
@sincerely_winnie - You know, I don’t think I’ve seen that one yet! I’ll go check it out soon.
@sincerely_winnie - oh nevermind, I have seen this short =D
I don’t understand sometimes alex. You’re handsome, funny and charming…
isn’t that what a girl wants?
it just makes no sense to me.
@PiscesPhishie -
thanks. Perhaps if more girls thought that way about me where I live (and wasn’t already in relationships) I would be a much luckier person.
@Roadlesstaken - maybe a change in scenery is what it might take to find that person that realizes these things about you, or you could continue your search there. either or.
@PiscesPhishie - I’m starting to think a change in scenery will end up being the case. Very few available good girls in MD =(
@Roadlesstaken - but there are lots of girls in TX. ;]
@PiscesPhishie - You may have a point; when I was waiting at the Houston airport I did see higher amounts of pretty girls. hmm….
@Roadlesstaken - Haha, of course, everyone has seen that one! =)
@Roadlesstaken - I’d suggest u re-watch HIMYM season 4 ep 23 again. Was watching it yesterday and thought of you!
@tollyyjoy - haha, what about that episode reminded you of me?
@Roadlesstaken - what Stella told Ted in the car.
@tollyyjoy - Ah yes, I do remember that
@Roadlesstaken - yup! it’ll all go well pretty soon! so be hopeful!
There’s nothing wrong with being single =) Enjoy it before you get tied down haha ;P I remember watching this short film canto FTW :]
@aliceandrandy - I guess…