August 27, 2009
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Home Is Where My Heart Is (And I’m OK With That)
There seems to be some stigma with living with your family after college age in the United States. In such a individual-oriented society, I can totally understand why this belief is so prevalent. Most of us are taught that as you grow older you need to be independent and take care of yourself on your own and thus shouldn’t need to live with your parents anymore.
I’m 23, working, about to enter graduate school, and I do not find it necessarily a bad thing to live at home right now. Do I want to live on my own eventually? Sure! There are certainly perks for doing that and I could probably rent out an apartment right now if I really wanted to (props to those that are living on your own while still in school and/or working, especially in this recession). However, I don’t find it urgent to do so just yet. Let me explain the reasons why staying with my family feels perfectly normal and perhaps the smartest and most logical route to take at this moment.
It’s how I was raised. From what I’ve heard, studied, and noticed, it’s very common in Asian culture for the child to stay with their parents as they get older. In fact, it’s almost expected from them. My dad and uncle are both housing and taking care of their mothers (my grandmothers), and throughout my life I was told that I should do the same thing. Do I feel like I need to stay with them forever? Honestly no, and my family understands that. Well, at least my parents do; my little brother and grandmother do not want me to leave ever, but I’m sure I will have to when the right time comes. That time may not come for another year or so because of the next reason.
Money, money, money. I always told myself that I want to be as debt free as possible before I take on any new bills. I’m currently paying back my undergraduate loans as well as my graduate school tuition out of my own pocket. So far, it hasn’t been too difficult (luckily I was raised to save money well), but I know that living elsewhere would put a strain on my budget and quality of life. By staying at home, I can pay off my debt at a much faster rate than if I was living somewhere else. Despite the obvious benefits of living elsewhere, the financial benefits of staying home (at least for now) are too great to ignore. Funny enough, being back at home may have been the right move all along.
Helping my family. I was away at college for a few years before coming back home. When I came back, I was shock to discover that my brother has become very lazy and was failing middle school. Middle school! As it turned out, he just needed some guidance and motivation, so over the past year I found myself spending a lot of time helping him get back on track. After all this time, he’s finally back to getting As and Bs in school and is actually doing something active (tennis) instead of always staying home playing video games. He now seems like a more happy and confident boy, and that may not have happened had I not been around. This experience has shown me that despite my selfish wants for living on my own, being at home might be what’s best for my family.
In the end, my goal is still to live elsewhere in the near future, but perhaps not yet. With the economy the way it is and my current job only 15 minutes away, it doesn’t seem financially smart to find another place to live at this moment. If I ever get that job I want in VA I’m most definitely going to move down there, but for now I’m perfectly content being home. Hopefully after reading my reasons, you can understand why I feel this way.
*If you want to read a good blog about this topic, check out this article from Stuff Asian People Like*
Comments (127)
nice, your logic makes sense and i would probably do the same myself except i’m studying to be an engineer and i want to get licensed out here so i can transfer to other states in the future without much hassle. cali exams are the hardest because of the additional seismic analysis part. have you considered renting?
it happens a lot nowadays…..people living at home with their parents up the age of 30…well my mates anyway lol. staying with your parents is a good idea…everything is free right? stay as long as you can and save up …stuff renting lol
i have bought a house with my bf and moved out already…and have so much responsibility now. it’s good..
Yeah, it’s not like you’re living off your parents. People fail to see the other side of it. Sometimes, your family needs you to stay home and help them. Especially with my dad and his diabetes, I don’t think I could afford to live out on my own just yet.
Plus the fact that some of us are really family-oriented.
i agree. i could’ve left home for school. but i decided to stay. its cheaper that way, and honestly, i really do think that my parents need help with my siblings. haha even though i tell my mom all the time that she should be nicer to me cause i get to pick her nursing home, i think everyone knows that’s never going to happen cause she’ll be staying with me.
@ch0w - Yup yup. My friends that have recently graduated and I have talked about it, but so far those plans are stalled until they can find a good job as well. It’s tough out there.
@nomilktoday - I definitely haven’t starve recently! Still, I try my best to take care of myself as much as possible. I don’t want my parents to baby me, which is why I told them I would take care of my school bills even though they offer to pay it themselves.
@elelkewljay - Exactly. Nothing wrong with being with your family in times of need. When I do move out, I’m certainly going to come visit as much as possible to make sure everything is alright.
@simplecandor - My mom practically told me I needed to stay to help out with my brother. Since my parents work all the time, they weren’t able to watch his school work and what he did on his off time, thus leading to the problems. Hopefully my brother will be able to take care of himself when I decide to fly the coop.
Did you know that my father is 74 years old and my mother is 63? I feel that there is a generation gap, cultural and language barrier between my parents and me. I guess I’m just way too Americanized for my parents to accept me my dual personality and upbringing of Vietnamese traditions and American traditions. I just had to move out when I turned 21; I wasn’t getting along with my parents. Both parties are majorly stubborn!
And since I’ve been on my own for a couple of years, they have finally accepted that I no longer wish to live with them. But it was quite a struggle and such heartache when I first moved out. I was also the eldest daughter, it was more of an obligation to stay at home until I got married. Me being female and all. But as we all know, I’m not getting married anytime soon.
I’m lucky that I only live about 5 miles away and can visit them a couple of times a week. Lately I’ve been visiting them more often because of their ailing health/medical status.
Sometimes I wish I lived at home and not have the financial burdens of an apartment and bills. But I always tell myself, “Freedom is not free.”
i think you don’t really need to move out until you’re getting married really. i mean you can, and it’d be good. But as soon as you marry, you gotta get out of hte house. IMO at least
If I had a better family, I’d love to stay at home. Don’t get me wrong, I know they love me, it’s just that too many arguments break out. Too many. And by that I mean at least four times a week. So, I always told myself I’ll be out. And I guess I will be soon.
It’s definitely difficult. And staying at home would definitely be the more logical thing. But I don’t want my family matters to get in the way of my school work. My sister is 26 and she’s still living at home. So, sure, it’s perfectly normal. Especially for a girl. But she also has a better relationship with my parents than I do.
If I had that, I wouldn’t mind so much. But over time, I realized, it’s really messing me up in school. I can’t have that now. It’s a pretty vital time for me.
Anyway, I’m probably moving by November.Actually, to be honest, I might be out of the States for a year. I need a year off or something.
Got to clear my head, got to get away from the parents.And they want me to move out anyway.
like I said, not a good relationship.*shrug
you’re lucky.
I used to live with my parents after college. It did take me sometime to get off my lazy ass and make a living for myself. In the end, I decided to get my own place and live my own life, rather than bleeding off my family.
@UnopenedSuitcases - I believe that too. For me, marriage is still a long ways away.
@strawberries_and_honey - It would be nice to live on my own. At the rate I’m going, I should be able to pay off my undergraduate loan in a year or so, so after that it would definitely be easier to move elsewhere.
@reckless_eagle - That’s good to hear. Did any big factor play into that decision (i.e. new job)?
@rhetorical_soul - I guess it’s very fortunate I have a good relationship with my parents, otherwise I’ll probably be like you and be super eager to leave, debt and all. Where would you go?
That’s exactly the way I feel. I live at home, too. I’ll be going to graduate school somewhere else, so I’ll have to move within a year, but right now it’s the best choice for me.
@Roadlesstaken - haha well i mean you are still only 23
still got 5 years or maybe more o.O depending when you want to get married!
@UnopenedSuitcases - Ideally, I wanna get married sometime between 25-30. We’ll see how it goes.
@randaness - Yeah, if my grad school was far away I would move out there, but right now I can commute. My classes are only 2 days of the week anyway, so it may not even be worth it. However, if I can get a job close by there I would strongly consider moving.
i’m going to be stuck at home for a while it seems too . XD
asian folks, as a collectivistic culture, has always been like this.. while i wish i were on my own again, it really is not financially efficient to do so unless one’s career is set
i’ve dated a few girls who have said they desire to be with someone who were out on their own and financially secure.. that’s not very feasible imo along with keeping a quality of happiness simultaneously.. basically, from what i’ve gathered, 20 something yr old females want 40 something yr old males minus the age gap.. so of course, there are discrepancies.. there are already so many stressors in life, so ppl can at least be more understanding of collectivistic thinking
You’re a good egg
I think you are taking a very sensible approach.
yes.. very interesting post.. i agree with you 100 percent. it’s probably best to stay at home n not having to pay for more bills than you have to.. that’s great you helped your lil bro with his schooling.. i know that i have struggle thru my freshman yr
and if it wasn’t for math.. i would have done greatly.. ahh it’s one of those things in life that i wish never happened.. it’s okay though.. we all have to beat the hardships in life and that is what i have learned. i hope you do
get to move out where ever you would like to.. that sounds great.. i wish you the best.. you sound like a very humble guy and i respect that.. i don’t know too many guys that would help their families as much as
you have done. =D keep enjoying life.. hahah i should tell myself the same
I wish my older brother was more like you. He’s 20, living at home, and disrespects my parents. I wish he would move out already, but he won’t.
Good for you, on not mooching off of your parents!!!
oh yea, hahah nice other asian post too.. haha yes, we’re both asians so we definitely know how our cultures are.. very strict and complex at times
@ordinary_gir1 - Are you fine with that? I’m lucky that I get along with my parents very well. They give me just enough privacy that they don’t drive me crazy haha.
@subaru3169 - That’s what I’m trying to put out there, that there are different perspectives on these things. Of course, if one just stay at home being lazy, just watching tv and playing video games and not trying do do something, that’s another story.
@MochaSprinkle - Eggs are one of my favorite foods!
@ElusiveWords - I’m glad you’re very understanding of my situation
Pragmatic!
It’s also good that you aren’t missing from your brother’s childhood
, or growing up-hood anyways.
@ImperialDoctrinesOfTheNewWorld - I’m very fortunate to have a good relationship with my family. We seem to know our roles and what to do to help one another. It’s unfortunate that your brother is like that, but hopefully he’ll grow out of it.
@discover_hienie - Thanks, I try to be. I gotta set a good role model for my brother so he’ll grow up to be alright. For some reason, my mom doesn’t think he will achieve as much as me (as bad as that sound), but I disagree. I think he has the potential; just gotta set him on the right path.
@loves_mud - That is a good thing, because I felt I missed too much of it during the years I was away. Time to make up for it.
yes that’s great.. i believe that is very true.. you have to set a good example for your siblings.. i have been going on the right path and i am glad that i have my friends to support me.. for the longest time i have been trying to impress my daddy..
it’s hard b/c he wanted soo much more out of me, but i know in the end that it will be worth it.. yes, my mom felt the same way about my sisters and i.. that i didn’t have enough potential.. oh wells i have shown her.. i think that is what
everyone wants to see his actions and not just words.. i have been learning that the hard way.. nothing is ever good enough for anyone.. you just gotta do things your way
I feel it’s the Asian thing, we learn to take care of our parents when we’re grow up. I’m ok with it and don’t mind caring for my parents now. But most of my American co-worker not think like me, sometime tell me why you have to help your parents and I give up explaining. So, I think its cool you’re still living at home and also help out your brother… Maybe its just our Asian way…
@Roadlesstaken - it works both ways. I want to escape but at the same time I dont want to pay rent to someone else XD
i definitely see what u mean. im starting college in 3 days and im already in debt from college! >.< i dont see the bad part about staying with family. as i see it, it help us get through everything and helps us make the transition to life on our own. I always feel like i need to get away from my family and be alone for awhile but in the end, theyre the ones that took care of me so when they get old, its my responsibility to do the same. i see almost all asian ppl think alike and im glad to see that because in the end, family is all you really have. =)
That’s soo true. I agree with every bit of that. But for me it’s different, I’m an only child. I’m going of to college away from home, staying on res…but my parents are OK with that..that’s what they want..but at the same time, if I wanted to live at home, they would be OK with that too. So in the end, it’s upto you. If you want to stay at home, stay, and if you want to go to res..go..It depends on what you want and at the same time what’s best for you!:)
Its insanely smart. I’m 23 gona be 24 finishing up school and I have quite happy at home. Like you said, i’m gonna be paying off school loans, I can save so much money staying at home and do things like travel eventually. Sure I’ll move out eventually but my parents don’t care what I do and we take care of each other. Plus we have a pool…haha.
In most Asian cultures, you only move out if you are getting married. I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Also, if I was to move out, I would rather buy a house than get an apartment.
that’s able sensible approach.
my friend got an apartment and moved out and she is only 19.
now she is realizing that maybe living at home and staying up for a few things would have been better.
she wanted to be on her “own”.
xo
i can relate to your entry. i am 25 and still living at home because the making money part is always not so good but i love my family’s company anyways. my parents and my brother have a great relationship and are very close. i probably won’t move anytime soon not unless i get married or something. =]
@SuperRat - Reading some other stuff, it seems other cultures also behave similarly like Hispanic culture. I don’t think we’re nearly as alone/odd as some people make it out to be.
@CatherineMarshmallow - I get that feeling too, but in the end the reasons to stay are outweighing the reason to go.
@SamyuktaR - That’s good to hear how understand your parents and you are with one another
@Drugsy - Oh pool?? Enough said! =P
@stupid_systemus - a house would be nice, but I totally wouldn’t be able to afford it right now. I can settle for an apartment.
@JessxMaxine - I also find it funny that there are some people that move out and are “on their own”, yet still have their parents pay for everything haha
@SWEETxN0VEMBER - Glad to see you’re very close to your family! I can understand that other people that aren’t as close may want to leave home asap.
@Roadlesstaken - That is very true, It’s just not our cultures. That why I say American, there are the only cultures not care so much..
@SuperRat - I think it’s Western culture in general. It’s not necessarily a bad thing; just different viewpoint. Being an Asian-American, I often felt very conflicted on how to feel.
@Roadlesstaken - I understand you feeling, I immigrate from HK very young and try to understand Asian and what I call my American side. I feel everything as American, but just my inside, need to care or do what is an Asian. I get confuse most of the time, so our feeling is same thinking..
you got a point, but mine will drive me nuts! I don’t mind doing things for them, but it’s their nagging of the same repeat and I’m on the verge of like ripping my head off! I can not live with them forever!
I’m 23 and still live at home. Granted, I’m not Asian, so there is a huge stigma against living at home as an adult that surrounds me. I was brought up with the notion that one should move out of their parents house as soon as they can in order to achieve financial independence. It’s all about the independence. If I had the money, I’d move out. However, lacking a decent job = not enough money.
Yeah you know when I read the first part of this blog all I kept thinking was “collectivist culture” which I kinda wish I had grown up in a family that was more closeknit. Isolation in our individualistic culture creates a lot of problems at times. I guess it just depends.
Mainly i applaud for realizing that if you can live for free why wouldn’t you? XD
yep…totally marrying you.
I agree, I think it’s a very asian thing to do, and I like that we are raised to think we must take care of our elders.
I did toy with the thought of moving out just for the sake of it. My mom was really upset.
Guess I’ll be the crazy cat lady who lives in her mommy’s basement lol
Hey…not a bad philosophy. also, me and kontzy were thinking maybe something over christmas break?
Good on you for having your reasons to stay at your parents’.
I still live with my parents currently…but sometimes I want to be on my own. I want to learn how to gain my own independence and to prove that I can hold my own. I personally despise the Asian way of living.. and I try to venture away from it as much as I can. But that’s just me….
Hmm, where did this come from?
Like I told you before, it’s the same way with Spanish families, and I’d never look down on someone who lives with their family. Living with a family that loves you is better than living with roommates who are crazy/hate you.
very true, I’m planning to do the same thing. Move out when I’m financially stable…it just seems logical.
And your brother is very lucky to have an older brother like you
*high five* Who cares how the American culture defines “independence”. Just keep making the choices that you feel are best. Besides, analyzing the situation, and then making the decisions based on the results shows self-sufficiency and autonomy
.
ooooh, what are you studying for grad school?
and another reason: because your mum takes care of you and cooks good food! unlike disastrous creations… always good to have a mother around.
lastly, of course, because you love your parents. AWWWWWWWWWWW.
@jeannie_dot_com - XD I thought that too….
I so admire that about the Asian culture. I think it’s phenomenal.
And like you say…money money money!
http://careygly.xanga.com/671668764/texting-greatness–meryl-eat-your-heart-out/
these are also the same reasons why i am thinking of moving back and applying for grad school by them. very important points that cannot be taken for granted. us Asians love to be homebodies with the fam =P
I agree with your entry, I’m not that much younger than you and think it’s perfectly fine and normal for me to stay at home, heck my older brother still lives at home with us. With the recession its hard to find a decent paid job to be able to rent a place outside of home. Luckily for me, despite living at home I have gone travelling and lived on my own *I went and did Camp America last year which ended up me going across the giant pond and living on my own~ I definately think its an asian thing – other asians in UK (Indians, Pakistani’s, Muslims, etc) they live together all the time even when they’re married!
@BabyGurlDragon88 - that’s pretty much describe my relationship with my grandmother haha. Nag, nag, nag…
@Rob_of_the_Sky - Sucks how much money plays a factor in things. What type of job were you looking for?
@indiechaos - Once I get a job that’s far away from my house, I will most likely move. It just doesn’t make sense for me to move when it doesn’t seem necessary.
@jeannie_dot_com - Now if we married I would definitely have to move! Haha…what makes you say that this time?
@CITYG1RL - Eh, it makes sense. Our elders took care of us while we grew up, so it’s not too farfetched that we should help them out as well.
@shatterFocus - That far away?
@sincerely_winnie - Oh I know what you mean. There’s certainly obstacles with living at home, but I can deal for now. However, no way I can stay here forever! Btw, for a moment there I thought that was the Xanga logo in your profile pic background.
@mycontinuity - I’m glad you don’t. This topic has been something I wanted to write about for a while now. Somebody’s pulse reminded me to write this.
@lilaznswtness421 - Thank you for saying that. I’m pretty lucky to have him too
@ladyofthesilk - Yeah, I just don’t want people to assume that if one stays at home it means they’re lazy or bad. There’s more sides to things like this.
@snapeful - Industrial/organization psychology. Heard of it?
@CareyGLY - If only money didn’t make the world go round…
@sonychak - haha true. hey, not paying a rent bill makes it one thing less to worry about while trying to succeed in grad school.
@balebalebu - that’s good to hear! Yeah, if I lived somewhere else I wouldn’t have the extra cash here and there to do all my traveling.
I totally understand. I moved back home for a year after college and from the money aspect alone, it was totally worth it. I wouldn’t do anything any differently!
I agree. It’s a great idea.
HAHA, xanga doesn’t own my life you know. =) Or does it….haha jokes. It’s creative, don’t you think?!
Very smart!
It’s cool to live at home. I moved out of my parents house right after college, and sometimes wish I hadn’t.
It seems like a total Asian thing to me. I (being white) grew up in an almost entire white community. Then I moved to southern California to live with my Filipino fiance, and I was shocked to find out both of his brothers had lived with his parents until they were almost thirty. However, his (Asian) friends were shocked to learn that my parents didn’t really care that I was moving 1200 miles away, and that I don’t really talk to them. There are really some vast cultural differences, and I’ve come to respect both sides. I think a large part of it is also just the relationship white parents tend to foster with their children vs how Asian parents relate to their kids. White parents try to make their kids hate them so they’ll leave by eighteen. (Or maybe that was just my parents..) Not so with Asians.
i think a lot of people live at home now; it’s not all that uncommon.
personally, i’m going to school full time and working two part time jobs so i can live on my own…and it kind of sucks. but the commute would be ridiculous.
@Roadlesstaken - you’ll live.
these are really great reasons to stay at home. i never really ever think about living at home when i go to school but it would help me out a lot, i do admit. i also admit that in this country, there is a stigma to those that still live at home when they get done school or when they are older. they suddenly become known as ” lazy ” or ” broke ” because they cant afford to move out of their ” mommy and daddys ” house. for most, this isnt the case at all. with the financial struggles we are all in right now, it may be easier to live at home even though most people absolutely hate this ! .. including me. most likely when i go to college, i will probably end up living with my parents and that absolutely sucks but if thats what i have to do, with no other option, then i dont have a choice and i accept that. i dont wanna have a stigma against me but thats just the way this country is.
@TheCheshireGrins - I know right? All that money saved is more money you can put into paying back those loans and bills!
@Passenger00 - Yeah, at least for now while I’m trying to pay off my loan asap before the interests really kicks in.
@ItsWhatEyeKnow - I’m glad you see it from my POV
. At least for now it seems to be the most logical thing to do.
@florida2008 - Oh yeah? What do you miss about staying home?
@Shy___Away - Hmm, interesting theory with the white parents thing haha. Yeah, it’s funny how so many things can be interpreted differently depending on the cultural context. 1200 miles? Where did you used to live before?
@lesslikemath - That’s how I see things too. Especially nowadays it’s a lot more common, for good reasons too. That stigma should go away.
@shatterFocus - I guess… (it’s not gonna happen is it?)
@C0URRtNEYYX - Honestly, I rather swallow my pride than end up being triple the amount of debt I’m in or whatever. That’s why I decided to commute to college my first two year so I can save money. I only lived on campus after I gotten enough scholarships to pay for it.
@Roadlesstaken - thats great ! but i dont think i could swallow my pride lol , i sound so stupid but thats just me. i have a lot of money saved up so i could do whatever i need to do with it by the time college comes around. but at the same time, i kno for a fact that it would be enough so going with what yur doing is probably the best option for me lol but knowing me, i will not accept it as an option until it is necessary
@Roadlesstaken - Hey, that is no theory! My parents have stated as much to other people in my presence, and have implied it directly to me. Ah well. I used to live on the Canadian border, in Washington.
@Roadlesstaken - Plenty! I have a sister who is near my age – we’re best friends – and I miss hanging out with her and being able to talk until 3am. I miss being a part of my family’s big Sunday dinners. I miss being involved with all the game nights and special events (like birthdays and holidays). I miss having someone to clean the bathroom, wash the dishes, and let the dog out for me. I miss not having to take time to pay rent, the electric and water bill, and grocery shop (unless I wanted to).
My family is very close – we act more like friends than family usually. So living with them after college felt like a roommate situation more than a parent/child situation. I know that not all families are like that.
its too hot to move to houston. your maturity makes you sexy.
@Roadlesstaken - don’t sound so disappointed!!!! idk……”we’ll try”s are the best I can do for now
@shatterFocus - allllright. I’ll try not to hold my breathe then.
@Roadlesstaken - yeah that sucks though, but its life :-p
I’m living w/ my boyfriends family, and we have a kid… seems like I SHOULD move out since we have our own lil family but there are so many perks of course stayin @home w/ his family. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to move out to act “grown” when I’m already voluntarily pitchin in some money to help out. Not to mention the fact we can actually go places w/o paying for a babysitter! We have a huge master bedroom and our son even has his own room… YES HOME IS THE BEST…
@Roadlesstaken - industrial… design? XD nope, never heard of it. what do you do then?
gotta love being a boomerang generation kid. =) that’ll be me too
@Sickness_Mimi - Seems like you got yourself a sweet little deal there
. Babysitting can get expensive, so that’s what relatives are for!
@snapeful - Relates to human resources. I would go to companies and help them with their hiring processes and how to make their current employees the happiest and most efficient workers.
@MariaBoscardin - boomerang generation? Interesting, I’ve never heard that phrase before.
@Roadlesstaken - oooh, i see. that sounds reallly specific though…
@snapeful - is that a bad thing? There’s other stuff I would do as well, but those would be the main parts.
@Roadlesstaken - oh, it sounds like pshycology and that seems to be a difficult field to get work in to begin with.
@snapeful - That’s actually one of the big benefits of this major; it’s one of the few growing fields out there and it actually pays pretty well for a psychology major. Very flexible too, because any industry could use an I/O psychologist.
@Roadlesstaken - ah, i see. that’s pretty smart then. i didn’t even know that there was a major like that existing in the first place.
@snapeful - I didn’t either until about 8-10 months ago =P
we are around the same age^^
but that’s really cool that you are going to grad school. What will you study? Do you like research? I don’t know much about you yet… but I know you’re sporty. and i kinda get this… kinesiology or human kinetics feel…. A lot of fit guys in kinesiology
@Roadlesstaken - hahaha nice! i hope you enjoy your major… grad schooling… wut. how exactly did you want to get into it and how did you find out about it? i’m still not sure what i want to do, but i know it involves art.
@i_Nutrition - I will be studying industrial/organizational psychology (see some of the conversation above w/ snapeful for more info). I tried research, but it wasn’t my thing. My school didn’t have kinesiology, but I probably wouldn’t have mind taking it had it been available.
Don’t know much about me yet eh? Well you’re very welcome to learn more about me at anytime!
@snapeful - I pretty much just did some research and found that program. Seemed like something I might enjoy, so why not. I’m not sure what exactly I’ll go with that masters, but it would be pretty cool if I could be an I/O psychologist within the tennis industry. Either way, I’ll end up with something. In order to complete this masters, they have to put me in a real world company and use what I’ve learned over the program, so I’m guaranteed a job
awwww! i’m probably going to stay at home during AND after college! and if i choose not to my parents would follow me wherever i go lol. but thats unlike my sister who wants to move to maine to get as far away as possible from my parents (they live in texas) while still in the US lol
@Roadlesstaken - Huuuuh…. You remind me of my frnd… Wow you guys are so similar! He was my psych TA in my 1st yr psych class. He was doing I/O psych. He didn’t really like it too much tho. He wanted to do something more with sports psychology, so he went down to Texas now and is just starting his phD. Last thing he told me, he was helping the womens tennis team there… doing some counselling i guess!
I thought doing masters = research! You don’t have to do a thesis?
@noree_n - does your sister not have as close of a relationship with your parents as you do?
@i_Nutrition - Oh that’s cool too! I looked into sport psychology as well, but for whatever reason I didn’t pursue it hard enough.
The masters I’m going for is called an M.P.S. (Masters in Professional Studies), so it’s not as much research involved in that.
@Roadlesstaken - Lucky you!!!! This is the kind of masters program I want too. Less research-based, more course-based I guess.
Oh and you sound like a very nice brother. I wish my brother was like you. Mine just beat me up a lot = =
Oh man, I was totally going to post about the exact same thing. A large majority of my westernized and non-asian friends completely rejected of moving in back home even without having a job lined up after college. I get a lot of them saying “Wow, I just don’t think I could ever move back home because it’s so restrictive!” To be honest it didn’t appeal to me either since I seemed to be doing just fine in college NOT living at home. And the idea of me coming back and using up all their resources at home seemed like I’d be burdensome to a family where a major source of income was lost, but right now it really makes sense to.
First of all, on restriction: sure, it’s a little annoying when it turns 11:30 and my mom calls me wondering where I am (aww,<3), but it’s not like I’m out every night anyway. Days are TIRING, and I need SLEEP.
Secondly, I’m not making more money than I’m spending on classes. And I have quite a bit in loans from undergrad. Moving out means you have to pay not only rent but utilities, food, and furniture. Where was that money going to come from? Ohh…probably the ‘rents. If that isn’t more income lost for everyone, then I don’t know what is. I’ll be commuting a lot each day, but it’s a max of 2 years. A lot can be saved up by then.
My dad’s entire family lived together up until my first cousin was born, and then the siblings split up into different households. Even after that, my grandparents lived with us (my grandmother currently lives with my dad’s sister. I think she and my mother both have very strong personalities and it was just easier for her to live with her own daughter after a while..) Living with your parents doesn’t have to be a sign of weakness or of being a “loser.” For us it’s more about respect for the family and support for one another. =]
@i_Nutrition - Oh I still beat up my brother a plenty, but I know when to be serious with him =P
@noodley - You said it pretty well yourself. Yeah, I find it funny when I see some people supposedly on their own when they really had their parents buy/pay for their stuff.
nothing beats mummy’s cooking
@Roadlesstaken - nope! she’s in her teenage angst phase and likes making my parents cry -_-
@tousle - isn’t that the truth!
Haha, I feel like this should be printed out and read aloud to several people at my school. What I don’t understand about them is, they’re ambivalent about this topic; they wouldn’t appreciate living at home, but they’re bitter about having to support themselves.
I like that you are content with living at home =] Like you said, it doesn’t have to be some sort of stigma.
@xxthatsmexx - Indeed. Now, if I was doing absolutely nothing, just feeding off my parents, that might be a different story haha.
@strawberries_and_honey - WELL SAID!!!
And Alex, remember? we talked about this before. I totally understand you! *hugs*
how’s school going? did you start yet?
@tigerdauphin - Starting this coming Tuesday. Kinda nervous about it, but I hope it goes well.
omg i spent ten years of my life growing up in maryland! haha, i just noticed that you’re from maryland.
@wyrdkismet - Oh yeah? Which part?
Were you born and raised in the States?
I was just wondering because a lot of my friends who are second generation (parents moved to states, they were born here) tend to retain those values even though they were born here.
I’m twenty-five and still live with my parents. (As you know
) I have three younger siblings, so contributing toward the housework is greatly appreciated by my parents. It also gives me time to concentrate on my writing.
Baltimore County
@Wangium - Yup, born and raised in MD. I have noticed that a lot of my friends that are second generation like me have similar stories.
@SarahLynn_violin - Ah yes, must be crowded with 3 siblings running around haha. Do you find it alright living at home?
@wyrdkismet - Oh cool, that’s where I went for college during my undergraduate years.
@Roadlesstaken - that’s awesome. UMBC right? how’d u like the dorms?
@wyrdkismet - Yup, did you ever consider going there? I liked the dorms a lot, especially the newest ones. I lived in a single in Harbor my last year, which was a building build just a few years ago. The only thing that was kinda annoying about living there is having to swipe your card everywhere to get to where you’re going, but it was very up to date.
@Roadlesstaken - yeah, i’ve visited UMBC and i was impressed with the dorms. the space is nice! the dorms at my school were much smaller by comparison, but we also had to swipe everywhere at the turnstile to get from place to place, so i can relate to that hassle.
@wyrdkismet - The dorm sizes are a big plus. What school did you end up going to?
Well I recall reading that Asians typically wouldn’t leave their parent’s home until they’re at least 30. I guess it is a nesting situation. There is the certain ingrained characteristic of filial piety, but in this type of recession day and age.. sure staying home with parents is definitely economically easier. Good luck on entering graduate school.
Great man, you are!
Bet your brother thinks you’re somethin’ special.
@Roadlesstaken - JHU
wow, that was a real nice blog
well as for me, I’m also working for our financial needs as well, so I’m a working student too like you! 
it’s fun and quite pressuring from time to time especially when you’re overloaded with projects and other stuff in school and then you still have to work, but you whenever you lay back and reflect on the things you do, you get that sense of fulfillment and productive, I think that counts a lot to one’s self-esteem 
and at the same time it will really get you somewhere. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well with your family, with all those good upbringings they’ve taught you 
@wyrdkismet - Oh that’s really close by. My club tennis team played against their team many times. You still go there?
@bloomblog - Thanks, it’s good to hear when others can relate to my situation
@Roadlesstaken - nah. graduated ’08. yeah UMBC has some good table tennis players, too. i used to play for the women’s team at jhu and we got to play at UMBC. glad to hear you were on the tennis team. i know some ppl from jhu that was on our tennis team.
@HelloKitty0809 - Haha I’m just okay. Just trying to help him out.
@anime_miz - I personally wanna leave the house once I have more money to throw away, but for now I’m fine with where I am. Definitely don’t wanna stay until I’m 30 that’s for sure haha.
@wyrdkismet - Oh cool, I probably know the table tennis people you might know since I played with them all freshman/sophmore year. Is Phil one of the guys you know?
So you graduated the same year I did then! What are you up to now?
@Roadlesstaken - o that’s cool! no, actually i don’t think i know a Phil. freelance writing.
Hmm… I estranged from home long time ago. I have a house but my home is still nowhere.
@RestlessButterfly - Oh? What happened?
@Roadlesstaken - Step relatives can be monsters sometimes especially when her daddy was not around to protect her.
I don’t think it’s wrong for a guy to be living with their parents past the age of 21. As long as they’re helping their parents with the rent/mortgage or like you helping your lil bro with his school grades, helping out around the house and not expecting the mom to baby the kid anymore. Now if they were 40+ with a job, then I think that is weird.
I had family problems so I decided to move out when I was 20, man did I get myself in debt…it wasn’t 5 figures but what was I think? >_<
@GaMeGurLsH - That’s what I was worry about because I would hate to have bad debt, especially now. So far I’m alright though.
@Roadlesstaken - Actually, it’s not too bad. I guess it helps when you’re blessed with a good family too!
so very true. my sister lived at home until she graduated college at 22 and moved away. she only moved because she got an excellent job farther away, and nobody was willing to hire in town and it’s totaly not weird for kids to stay at home until they’re married. it happens a lot with indians, although the newer generations try to move away to gain a little bit of independence i suppose.
@PiscesPhishie - I can see that. Honestly, if I end up getting a good job elsewhere that requires me to move I would be quite okay with that.