July 20, 2009

• Can You Resist The Urge?

  Let see how long you can last before you say it (I’m sure you can guess what I’m referring to soon enough ):
  
  
  The other day, I went out to play tennis against this very talented girl at the clay courts of a tennis club.  I got there about 10 minutes before she had arrived because I didn’t want to be late.  “Sorry, I tend to come too early“, I told her.  “That’s alright, I’m used to it with my other partners,” she replied with a wink.
  
  As we warmed up our strokes together, I noticed the clay court was in bad shape.  It was too dry, so we needed to get something to make it wet.  Luckily, the maintenance guy was around to help out.  I offered to give him a hand with the job, but he declined.  “I’ll be fine doing it myself“, he told us as he proceed to water the court.
  
  After he was done, we began playing our first set.  Let me tell you now; I was not feeling it at all!  I was having all types of bad luck that set such as my extra balls constantly falling out of my shorts during points.  It was also pretty humid that day, so I was getting myself way too sticky and hot.  Because of those distractions, I ended up spraying my shots everywhere.  I just kept on whacking it every which way, never managing to get it straight.  I hate to admit it, but my performance was extremely sloppy and I was really sucking. 
  
  It didn’t help that she was playing amazingly and was on top of things.  I thought we would just mess around, but she was really giving it to me!  She was all over my balls, pounding away to the point where I could barely keep up with her pace.  I didn’t think she would last long, so I kept blasting away at her.  Unfortunately for me, she was handling all my hard balls quite well.  I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting in a good groove with her.  Perhaps I wasn’t controlling my balls as well against this girl because she had such long, fast strokes (I’m more used to slower, shorter strokes that are typical of other girls I’ve encountered over the years).  Oh, it also didn’t help that she kept grunting whenever she had the chance.  I became so distracted that it just got way too hard for me.
  
  

  Before I knew it, she had totally blown me off the court.  “You totally creamed me!” I told her while walking over to the bench.  Deflated, I sat down and concentrated on what I needed to do to readjust myself.  My hands were hurting a bit, so I rubbed them for a couple minutes until the throbbing went away.  I grabbed a drink from my bag and sucked it all up until there was nothing left to swallow.  With my other hand, I grabbed a power bar and stuffed it down my throat just in time for the start of the new set.  After taking a few deep breaths, I was ready for round two. 
  

  
  It was like a totally different experience between the first and second set.  I was so tight the first time around, but as time went on I became much looser.  Everything just fell into place.  For one thing, I changed up my positioning and it became a whole lot more comfortable.  The balls even appeared to look huge in my eyes as it became easier for me to track them down and smack away.  I just kept saying in my head “don’t beat yourself!  You can beat her!  She’s going down!“  It worked and in the end I finally had her.  It felt so good punishing her after being slammed in that first set. 
  
  The third set was a quickie.  It was almost too easy.  To think, I was about to pull out of this prematurely.  Good thing I stayed in!
  
  After smashing the last ball right between her legs, I had finally won 1-6, 6-3, 6-0.  What a satisfying climax!   All smiles, I went up to the net to shake her hand and congratulate her on a good match.  It was then when I found out she was quite the sore loser, as she yelled out a stream of profanity at me before storming off the court.  I stood there in disbelief.  There were some guys on the other court that walked over and asked me if they really heard all of that.  They just couldn’t believe such nasty stuff can come out of a girl’s mouth.
  
  “Yup”, I told them as I shrugged it off.  “That’s what she said.”
  
  *Note:  This is entirely fictional and was written in jest *
  

  • 5:43 pm
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