The facts were these (brownie points to anyone who knows that phrase reference!): I enjoy being around people and interacting with them. That's probably part of the reason why I chose psychology as my major and why I got so involved with school organizations. Just meeting new people to laugh, listen and talk with in social settings is a very pleasant and rewarding thing for me to do. Perhaps these traits of mine are reasons why people have described me as a very friendly, outgoing, and sociable guy.
However, there are times when I feel very conflicted about this and wonder what's wrong with me. You would think that with this type of personality I would be more into overtly extroverted activities like:
Yet time and time again I find I rather do more low-key activities with people, such as:
There's probably a lot of factors for why this is the case (I'm sure being allergic to alcohol doesn't help), but I often feel baffled about why I am this way. I've gone to parties and clubs before, but I just never digged them as much as I felt I should be. Trust me, I wish I could be like some of my peers who love going out all the time, but try as I may I just can't make that stuff my scene. Every once in a while it's okay, but in general I much rather just do some chillaxing activities.
So yeah, now you have an idea of the types of activities I prefer to do if we ever hung out. I've pretty much accepted this is just how I am, but I would be lying if I told you I don't ever feel self-conscious about it.
Comments (100)
That's because you prefer genuine relationships with people as opposed to the superficial ones that bars and clubs offer.
Don't feel bad about it. I'm the same way. It's more personal when you hang out with people in a more relaxed setting.
I enjoy going out occasionally but I'd much rather do the second set of activities more often. I don't see anything wrong with it, it's probably cheaper.
@wherethefishlives - Spoken like a poet.
@wherethefishlives - Or one of those old dudes in movies. Like yoda. Or a martial arts master.
@wherethefishlives - Took the words right out of my mouth.
Or, fingers.
Low-key activities place more emphasis on personal interaction and bonding, whereas you've got the alcohol and loud music talking at the other stuff. That's just my guess.
- John
Smaller concert venues ftw, tho.
Yea... the first set is fine for every now and then, but the 2nd set guarantees quality time every time :) Don't be self-conscious about it, it's a good thing. Really :)
ps. I get the reference, brownie points for meeeeeeeee! Is that show still on? lol.. I never watched it when it was on, I have an unpredictable life like that!
Low key activities are awesome (=
You don't need a nightclub or one night stand to have fun with some friends@wherethefishlives said it best.
xo
omgosh, im allergic to alcohol too, and i have such a hard time explaining it to people especially guys. i have the opposite problem - i like partying because i love dancing, but people always assume i'm not an extrovert because i don't drink. i think personality and hobbies are different though, and sometimes although u're a loud person its normal to like introverted activities - ying yang and whatnot. I guess on the outside people think i look introverted so its surprising i like extroverted activities. however, in terms of people and spending genuine time, i think we all prefer more personal activities - clubs these days are like meat markets - pretty hard to go there to meet new 'sincere' people....i basically go in, dance and get out, haha. interesting post~
@wherethefishlives - Well, I think you just about hit it on the bullseye with that comment. Thank you; I think I subconsciously realized that but couldn't convey it.
@one_eared_batman - I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in more private settings with people I know. I'm not afraid at all to be myself.
@StewieIsMyHero - That's what my friend said to me once about my alcohol allergy. It probably does save me a lot of money =P
@The_Aftershock_3650 - Yeah, it's too distracting. I rather be able to hear the person next to me haha
@theacematt2 - I enjoy concerts too! Haven't gone to one recently though so I really should go check one out. I heard Jason Mraz was gonna play at a venue near by.
@MochaSprinkle - Unfortunately that show isn't on anymore
. How did you know which show if you didn't watch it?
@Dylan_Disast3r - Exactly. Still, I do wonder what I'm missing out from it all. My friend always want me to go to bars with her, but since my body hates me for putting alcohol in it I tend not to go.
@JessxMaxine - First comment and he knocked it right out of th ballpark. Good guy.
@aPieceOfTheSky - And interesting comment to you! I feel less alone in my weird allergies. What happens when you get drink alcohol? Besides the redness, I get really itchy and my heart pounds like crazy, like it's gonna burst.
You sound a lot like me. I'm sociable, but my activities with people are more similar to the ones you enjoy. From my experience it's because those activities allow people to bond better than hanging out in bars or clubs does. Bars, clubs, and so forth don't offer a lot of intellectual stimulation either.
there is nothing wrong with that, just hang out with people who shares the common interests, and maybe show up in the club once a while. i never enjoyed clubbing.
That's perfectly ok! I'm the same way, and was teased by friends who enjoyed partying like stereotypical college kids. This probably doesn't happen to you b/c you're a guy, but getting groped at a club by some strange man isn't all that fun.Â
The subconscious is a complex thing. Understand that we are made of many layers, so there is no specific attribute that can describe who we are. Remember that we are not what we do, feel, or think. Besides, the words extroverted and introverted have vague definitions which were developed by events that others deemed common. There is no reason to feel self-conscious because all that matters is that you are content with who you are. You don't need others to understand you completely. Is it not better to be in the company of those who accept you as you are ;)?
I'm gonna have to agree with comment number 1.
I noticed the word genuine...I do believe I used that word to describe you in a little post I wrote a while back. ;)
That's perfectly normal. I am like that too, but I also enjoy going out because I love to dance. Low-key activities make it easier to bond and there is no pressure to be anyone but yourself. I find that at clubs, guys try to flaunt their cash whereas the girls compete to see who can flash more skin. As long as you know why you are there I guess it's not all that bad.
PD of course! :)
[I loved how Emerson Cod said "Helll no!" :).]
Why would you be self-conscious about that (at the contradiction?)? :)
Eh, I'm extroverted too but I enjoy more of the relaxed activities. You can't hear people talk in clubs or bars and if I want to build a relationship with other people, I really feel like I need to actually sit and talk to them. One of my favorite things to do is to go get a cup of coffee with a friend and just talk. That's the best way to form a bond and you aren't going to get that bond from going to da club.
I'm this way also. I don't like going to clubs and stuff, and haven't a had a sip of alcohol ever. It's funny cause my best friend is now my ex-best friend because he called me boring for not going clubbing and drinking.
I'm the same way as you...sometimes I feel like I'm not part of today's society and what kids these days are into. I've never been one to party or drink or go to bars. I see most of my friends doing that time and time again and though I have tried, I can't get into it. It's not me or who I am and sometimes I feel terrible about it. Even my aunts tell me to stop being so serious at my age and to go let loose and have fun but to me that's not fun. Maybe because I've been so into tennis and reaching certain goals that I'm mature beyond my years and I see that going clubbing and drinking week after week is a complete waste of time and of life when there are so many new things to learn and explore.
Long walks on the beach?
the clubbing/partying scene isn't all THAT great imo... in the end, you'd much rather be spending time with ppl you care about or who care about you. i've realized that meeting ppl at parties/clubs isn't my cup of tea after a year of crazy partying days lol. think about it this way: if something bad happened to you, those ppl wouldn't care! coffee shops and book stores are def my hideouts whenever i like some "me" time. there's no need to feel self-conscious about it!