As some of you might know, the 2nd season of The Walking Dead debuted this past weekend and I was VERY excited to catch it.  I'm not sure if many of you know this about me, but I became a fan of the zombie genre ever since I read World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide.  The idea of it fascinate me and I don't know why exactly.

After I finished watching the show, my imaginative brain started kicking and made me think, "What if a zombie apocalypse happened right now while I was in my room?  I don't have any weapons like guns or swords lying around, so what could I use?"

Looking around my room, I only spotted a couple things I could use to potentially defend myself with.

Ah, my trusty rackets.  These wouldn't be so bad to use initially as I can swing them rather fast at an approaching zedhead, but they probably would break after the third or fourth one I try to take down.  Hmm, what else could I use?

I won this cane at a wedding I recently attended and have kept it around ever since.  While it could be intimidating to a human, it's too hollow to make much of an impact on a walker that doesn't feel pain.  This would most likely break faster than the rackets as well.

As you can see, my tennis racket and cane wouldn't really be effective weapons in the long run.  I would need something more durable and reliable to have with me.  With that in mind, I decided to purchase a tool that meets all those requirements.

Ability to pry open doors and crush skulls?  Relatively lightweight and able to take a beating?  Endorsed by The Zombie Survival Guide and Half-Life's Gordon Freeman?  I say that's good enough for me.  LEGGO!

Don't worry, I'm not crazy (yet).  I'm pretty sure I won't be battling the undead anytime soon, but at least I can say I won't be helpless if the situation arises!  (Literally! Since you know, dead people would be rising up and...okay okay, I'll stop explaining.)

If you didn't have a real weapon lying around, what improvised weapon would you equip yourself with in order to fight off those pesky zombies?

I've been a big fan of television for as long as I could remember.  For 30-60 minutes at a time, you get to experience a whole other world that you generally don't see in your regular life.  Those brief escapes from reality were, and still are, a great incentive to keep me watching.

Even though I knew that television shows were created for my entertainment and that not everything I saw was real, there were times when I had a hard time distinguishing which TV facts were rooted in truths and which were spiced up.  It didn't help that I was still a confused, middle school kid when I had these ideas of how the world should be.  Some of my biggest gaffes came from shows such as...

#3. Popeye the Sailor Man

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Why does the spinach look like drugs?  Wait a minute...

On the Show:  Whenever it look like Popeye is in trouble, he just pops a can of spinach down his throat and TADA!  He's kicking ass!

My Expectation:  Spinach will give me MOAR POWER!

The Reality:  While healthy, it didn't quite give me the boost I was looking for when I challenged my neighbor, who was at least a foot taller and 2 times my weight, to a wrestling match.  Ouch. 

#2. Dawson's Creek

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On the Show:  When Joey visits Dawson, she doesn't ring the doorbell and walk through the front door.  Nope, she just climbs right through his window.  Dawson does not get phased by this, so it is assumed that this is normal behavior.

My Expectation:  My pretty neighborhood friend will also start climbing through my window at night to hang out!

The Reality:  Apparently girls, like the one that lived across the street from me, will be turned off if asked to climb up my ladderless house to lay in bed with me at night.  Whodathunk?

On the Show:  Whenever the son is sad about something, the father character (or in Will's case, the uncle) would sit down with him and give some words of wisdom and/or comfort.  It's not unusual for them to hug it out at the end.

My Expectation:  Dad will comfort me (with great empathy) whenever I am feeling down!

The Reality:  My dad, being the typical Asian dad, never did anything close to what I saw of fathers on TV.  I think I started harboring resentment towards him in my youth, wondering why he didn't love me.  It was only later on that I realized he does cares for me, but he shows it in indirect ways.  Nonetheless, I made it a point that I will behave more like the typical TV dad than the typical Asian dad in the future towards my children.  I want my kids to never doubt that they can count on me to be there for them in their times of need.

Hello guys!  Sorry for the slight hiatus in blogging.  I got wrapped up in work last week and this past weekend I took yet another trip to NYC to hang out with some cool Xangans. 

I could tell so many stories, but I'm thinking I might keep the juicy ones just between the folks that I went with.  Don't worry curious people, I'm pretty sure some tales and bad pictures will leak out eventually (oh boy...). 

Anyway, at some point during this weekend @nimbusthedragon somehow converted the CATs of ASSCAT from this...

into this...

Look at those frickin' hipsters

Clearly with the looks come the attitudes, right?  Let's see what the Xanga Hipsters think of...

I did.

Not surprising, she was very angry at me for doing that.  Who could blame her?  At the time, things were wonderful.  The chemistry was unmistakably there and we had the timing down.  We could talk and laugh for hours.  Seeing her made me smile uncontrollably.  She was what I looked forward to at the end of a long day.  We were by no means perfect, but I honestly couldn't have asked for more.  She was happy.  I was happy. 

Sadly, I knew this perfect moment we had couldn't continue.  Soon, the timing would no longer be on our side.  Without it, we could probably survive on our chemistry for a little while longer.  However, our relationship would eventually deteriorate.  I worried that if we waited until then, our inevitable separation would be worse for the both of us.  With that in mind, I was convinced that I had to end things before it went down that rough path.

Although I made what I believe was the most logical decision, I suffered for a long time with my choice.  The guilt of it weighed heavily on my heart as I struggled to ride it out.  I wish I could have comfort her, but that wasn't an option at that point.  Very quickly it went from our once great, passionate relationship to...becoming strangers. 

As bad as it ended, I would be a fool to wish that we had never happened.  I do not regret our time together, nor do I wish to dwell upon the sad conclusion.  Despite everything, I will remember the blissful, perfect moment we were lucky enough to share for a brief period.  I am going to appreciate that forever.

I do wonder though...if there's a version of us out there that is still together, that managed to get pass the obstacles laid before them.  If I had more belief, faith, and perhaps more luck, could that have been us?  Was that path even possible?  I guess it doesn't matter now, but still, I wonder...

I cannot wait until you meet that someone that will give you all that you deserve.  To see you as happy again will bring so much joy to me.  I truly mean that. 

Really, if they are going to dismiss you so easily without putting real consideration into what they concluded of you, why should you give what they said any respect?  Go ahead and dismiss their words just as coolly.  It's one thing if it's constructive criticism, but their opinions are ultimately meaningless and a waste of time to dwell on if they stem from ignorance, jealousy, insecurity, apathy, etc.

I admit, I'm not completely innocent.  I've caught myself taking on the hater role before.  It's quite easy to fall into that trap when you judge people or things based on first impressions, an emotional response, or shoddy information, which I'm sure a lot of us have done for one reason or another.  When I reflect on those times, I can't help recognizing how poorly I approached those situations.  My opinions from those moments proved to hold little to no value, as they deserved.

To those that have to deal with unwarranted, careless, hostile remarks directed at you, I say...

I couldn't quite figure it out at the time, but I felt a certain impact from those words.  Some recent events and comments I've experienced led me to finally understand why what she said to Dex gave me pause.

I'm afraid that the way Dex's mother saw him at that moment in time is how some people, the ones that matter the most in my life, are beginning to see me.

Lately, I haven't been feeling the best about myself as a person.  Do I still think I'm an overall decent person with good intentions?  Sure, I guess.  However, good intentions means crap if I somehow end up hurting those that care about me. 

How did this happen?  I wonder if it began taking shape back in 2007, when I started learning to be independent again after becoming and remaining single during the following years.  Moving out to a new place this past year has also made me learn to watch out for myself, focusing on my needs.  Over time, I began making more and more decisions that benefited me more than it benefited others.  That, in of itself, isn't a bad thing, but I worry it has made me care about my self-interests way too much.

I still aim to be considerate of others through my actions.  I still strive for empathy and understanding for people's wishes and concerns.  I push to be humble.  I want to be someone my peers and family look up to.

Yet, I wonder if despite all that people judge me as becoming more inconsiderate, impatient, selfish, and prideful instead?

Don't you worry, my friends and family.  I will figure this out and become better.  I want those that I've hurt or disappointed unintentionally to know that I am ashamed and truly sorry for any bad feelings I may have caused.  Hopefully, you all will see me as a decent man again through improved actions on my part. 

I can't tell you for certain when I will change your mind, but I believe in myself enough to know I will make things right eventually. 

You can count on it. 

I think it's about time I posted some more reenactments of Cyanide and Happiness comics!  The following 6 new comic strips were created with Xangans in NY, MD, and VA.  As always, it was fun making them with everyone.  Check them out below:

#1 What Do You Love? (ft. @LoveJennyy and @Roadlesstaken)

#2 Chris the Calamity (ft. @LitlKittyKat and @Cakalusa)

#3 Out of Town (ft. @Wyrdkismet and @Roadlesstaken)

 
#4 Laid Pick-Up Line (ft. @Cakalusa and @Jia_x3)

#5 Nerd Hero (ft. @Roadlesstaken and @LenaFaye)

#6 The Whistle (ft. @Timmmmmmy and @Roadlesstaken)

 

Which one you liked the best?

Links to past C&H posts:
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted!
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (Again!)
Cyanide and Happiness: Reenacted! (With Canadians!)

P.S. Feel free to suggest possible future comics to reenact, whether it is a C&H comic or another comic strip altogether.  Thanks in advance!

Last month, I came across this promo video for Air Swimmers (feel free to watch it first before reading on).  Cool right?  I told myself that if I ever get the chance to purchase one (it was and still is sold out online), I'm going to go for it.  Sure, I would essentially be wasting money on a remote controlled balloon that probably wouldn't last and would probably lose its appeal quickly...but dude, it's a frickin' flying fish!

It didn't take too long for me to have the opportunity to buy one as I came across it while visiting Chicago.  After 2-3 hours of frustrating assembly, I finally had my own flying shark:

You jelly?

So now that I possessed a flying shark that I could control, what did I decide to do with it?  I went with the most mature option I could think of; to annoy the hell out of my family with it!

First, I alerted my brother of my new pet:

His airzooka turned out to be a super effective defense weapon.

As was a kitchen pan.

Not the nose!  Its weakness!

Next, it was time to troll the momma.

She is not amused

I briefly surprised my dad while he was cooking...

..before moving on to my final victim:

Dun dun.  Dun dun.

Poor, unsuspecting grandma

She actually smacked my shark!  How rude!  I retaliated by blocking her precious Chinese television show.

My family learned a valuable lesson that weekend.

After a month long competition involving 36 amazing contestants completing challenges given by Team ASSCAT, the results are finally in!

First off, we want to announce the winner of the iPod Shuffle, given to the contestant who we thought completed the best individual challenge.  It was a very tough choice as there were many worthy choices (i.e. @stupid_systemus comic, @i__LIVESTRONG plank, @cucumber_melonhead epic cake) but in the end we decided to go with...

I don't think anyone would say he didn't deserve this after having the guts to videotape himself wearing a dress while lipsyncing Barbie Girl.  Kudos, my friend!

Now, it is time to announce the contestants that earned the most points after completing two rounds of challenges!

In 3rd place, the winner of 1 year Premium who amused us with her inappropriate statue pictures, her sweet piano playing skills, and hilarious Slurpee drinking video, goes to...

In 2nd place, the winner of a $25 Amazon gift card that entertained us with her make up, her introduction, and her dresses, goes to...

And finally, the winner of the inaugural ASSCAT Challenge, who wowed everyone with his creative videos involving Inception, dating an ASSCAT member, pikaplanking, and Barbie Girl lipsyncing, is...

Congrats Whoosh!  You will receive a $100 Amazon Gift Card and bragging rights for winning the 1st ASSCAT Challenge Contest!

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BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE!

We know how much time and energy our contestants put in, so we want to reward everyone that managed to complete the two round of challenges.  We put all the remaining contestants into a drawing for raffle prizes, and here are the results!

Winner of 1 year Premium:  @Hello_Bianca
Winner of a BFN Store Xanga Bear:  @Skylar_Rose
Winner of 1 month Premium (6 winners):  @ArmyWife4Life2007, @i__LIVESTRONG, @suefa_lee, @randaness, @Stupid_Systemus, and @wyrdkismet
Winner of 1,000 credit Minis (8 winners):  @swtaznxtc90, @thesoftlights@blackhk, @Sheegwa, @BFB1131, @cpkviperphoenix, @JustPlainMorgie, @smile4leena, and @ionekoa@revelife

We will deliver you all the prizes ASAP.

That concludes our contest!  Team ASSCAT wants to thank everyone that supported this endeavor.  We had a lot of fun running it and I hope you all had a good time participating and viewing the many submissions.  Will we host another one again?  We shall see.  If we do, we will certainly learn from this fantastic experience to make the next one even better. 

Please wish all the contestants congratulations!  They absolutely deserve it.

Until next time!

Sincerely,

Alex/Flip @FlipGuy31O
Sonlay @Sonychak
Shawn @Junbelievable08
Chris @Cakalusa
Alex @Roadlesstaken
Timmy @Timmmmmmy